


Your run

by Humanwithwings



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A fuck ton of swearing, Angel Radio, Angst, Blankets, Case, Comfort, Conversations denser than gabriel cherry pie, Cute, Dress-up, Fluff, Food, Fucking things up, Going out, Happy times, Healing, Hobbies, Hunt, Hunters, Hunting, Hurt, I also hope someone reads the tags, I hope this will go on for long, Karaoke, Magic, Music, Night, Other Angels - Freeform, Protection, Rain, Reader Has Powers, Reader Insert, Sarcasm, Sassy Reader, Showers, Showers also a lot, Somehow, Swearing, Tag As I Go, Torture mentioning, Training, Walk, a little imagination on my side of how the angel radio looks like, again blankets cus there are so many, also, breakdown - Freeform, but its basically them being, but now you know, fight, food before dude, i cant believe i forgot to tag it, i don’t actually know what fluff is, i mean...?, im going to all the places, jup, mission, new angel and you call them sheep, oh yes i went there, one loves baking, powers, protective, restaurant, shit ton of that too, so how bad can they be, sorry i went downhill fast, talk, thats basically chapter 12, they are innocent too, theyre cute as hell, were going hunting, why arent you already reading this, yes I went there too, yes indeed there are happy chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-03-27 10:05:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 87,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13878624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Humanwithwings/pseuds/Humanwithwings
Summary: Reader insert basically...but we all know meeting Team Free Will is never basic...or simple for that matter#Buckle-up-kids-we-are-going-on-a-road-trip....with a lot of swearingSet into the timeline after 13x13 but has its own universe/story line...===================The thing you actually wanted now was the silence, silence before the storm....literally. In the near distance the first lightnings were visible and you heard the dangerous thunder rumbling.Your startsignal.===================For the better understanding of the text:Thoughts are in a thick fontSpeech in italicsNarrative stays normal





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the better understanding of the text:  
> Thoughts are in a thick font  
> Speech in italics  
> Narrative stays normal 
> 
> Also i would just leave some music suggestions at the beginning of each chapter wich inspired me during the writing process:
> 
> Crave you ( adventure club dubstep remix) - Flight facilities  
> For the later part:  
> Crossfire - stephen

It didn’t matter to you, because a little bit of cold and wetness doesn’t stop anyone to get the only thing that calms themself. I mean an addict would also take a shot in the rain~ it does the same thing if needed. Of course this is not the extreme you searched for but a good comparison i think. The thing you actually wanted now was the silence, silence before the storm....literally. In the near distance the first lightnings were visible and you heard the dangerous thunder rumbling.  
Your startsignal.  
First warmup thought, or else the best steam bath wont help ease the pain in your muscles. No matter how much you didnt care about your restless body getting hurt, the strength should be earned the right way.

So far as your thoughts have....uhm...your legs have carried yourself, you already arrived on the old fieldtrack going along the side of a dark green forrest. You watched the bushes and misty shadows of it carefully, often seeing little shadow people in the corners of your vision. On the other hand they just made your adreline level rise high and resulting in a sprint. However it was this time rather unlucky together with the fact that the next song distracted you from a deep water whole before you could even get started. And with your new shoes you ran right in.

 _Urgh...what the fUCK THAT CANT BE..._  
  
_... **true. Yes. It can.**_  
You annoyed yourself with the typical disbelief. Now this was the reality, with your shoes and socks wet, weighing your feet to the ground. You admitted how the rest of the track didnt look promising at all with the skygrey streams running towards you.  
Now heading back was pointless too and even though you knew that running your feet warm was not how it worked. You started the music again and headed up the steep hill. Why? Because the chance to listen to your almost hypnotic feeling music for 30mins and getting chased through the field from the growing danger of the storm was too tempting and enough of a reason to get your wet feet going...further away from your ...place to stay..

Or else, you thought all of this kept you in a healthy distance to your disruptive thoughts.  
No thinking now, just breathing and running and of course skipping through your music to find the perfect song fitting your mood even thought you pressed shuffle every time.  
Most of the time you kept running tense and with that hearing your feet crashing against the little rocks, skipping some of them away in the process. Certainly because of the storm but it was the only thing that also kept you going against your will to stand still and just let your thoughts run you over like you did with the leaves under your still soaking wet shoes.

In the mean time the hard but steady rythm of your legs melted in with the music beat. Now that you didnt care anymore for stopping you checked your breathing. Still going strong and exhaling little clouds of white fog. You felt like a freaking little ice dragon. Slowly your thoughts were replaced by the feel of raindrops on your face and they‘ve fastly gotten as fugitive as the little foggy clouds. You let your other senses and the way-too-loud-to-be-healthy music take over for the rest of the track ahead of you.

Before you even managed to slap yourself across the face for those horrifyingly poetic thoughts, gravity as well as the ground took over and managed to also slap the air out of your lungs as you hit the ground in a split second.

_Oh shit oh SHIIIIT_

Different words didnt seem to emerge form your muddled brain so you repeaded them over and over like that would have been the cure to the growing pain.

_Nooohoo i mean REALLY??_

Now also the last of your braincells seem so realize what happened. You tripped over yourself or really thick air. And sadly where a flight was there also must be a landing...in this case a hard one right on your knees, wich not even hit the grass ground. Just sharp rocks sticking out from the mud, basically ripping them apart.

  
_Dont act so stupid if you paied attention like three seconds ago this all wouldnt be happening and you would NOT need some kind of banda..._

  
And the next jolt of pain flodded your senses and stopped you from judging yourself in eternity.  
You didnt care now anyway, you had to keep going although your knee didnt seems to make this easy on you. You needed a safe point asafp (as soon as fucking possible)with the simple reason of the weather now yelling „screw you“ in your pain-warped face. And there already went stonehard drops down especially on you.

Nevertheless, there it was. A familiar looking safe haven youve seen about twice on this route now named: i-dont-want-to-go-in-there-but-i-also-dont-want-to-die-here barn. Instead of getting expected by a large storage room though, you were greeted first by your stomach with a feeling of takeover...literally...getting taken over and spitting half of your small lunch on the dirtfloor. And exactly that were your last sarcastic thoughts before the concussion wiped them away like crumbs on a table..?

 _Oh fuck that hit me harder than i thought_.

Silently wispering as to not trigger another throw-up. At the same time your healthy leg carried you further into the winding corridors of the barn now more then ever feeling like a friggin pirate on a mission. Already, out of fear for the next attack on your stomach, you hunched over again to get rid of the spasmic feeling. The thing left however was even worse compared to the evanesent pain.

_*Ripp*_

Of course in this scenario the first action of every loyal electro-music-lovers is to check if this was a sound from the real world or part of the „art format“.  
With pressed stopbutton you waited for another sound, another alarming sign if you will.  
No, the sound reeping to your numb ears wasnt calming though, nooooOO. No, the thing wich came across your ears had to be one of the top ten things you dont want to hear when being alone or hurt or just existing...

* _wimpering_ *

That did defenitly not sound like an emering leck from the storm wich would be a more calming explanation.  
Your uncontrollable eyes had for some reason decided to immediately look for the source wich didnt sound like rain at all, instead of searching for a safe way out of this terrifyingly accurate horror scenario.

_Fuck it....thats doesnt do anything...give me the needle youre not doing shit._

  
As childish as the statement could have sounded it sure as hell wasnt meant like that. Even when your stiff neck refused to turn further in the direction of the sound that didnt stop your upper body wich also then protested with a shiver down your spine.

 _Jaaaack stop that or its gonna get all messy_.

Like a father. A bit worried, but with the undertone of a murderer wich would place the father of whoever in the darkest part of the time-out corner.

_Like he ordered....Oh for fucks sake it leakes! I dont got time for this._

_We will give him them as an extra tied up present on top, problem solved._

  
_**Wait ....TIED UP? Who or what**._

You didnt care about your pain anymore if someone is getting tied up you wanted know why or if he at least deserved it.

You stretched far enough around the corner to make out the four actually tied up people and with that the situation was clarified. Five bulky guys with suits wich managed to keep three lumberjacks and a rather tattered looking Fbi-Agent tied down obviously against their free will. They just didnt look like friends if they would find you there.  
What were you supposed to do then except turn right around and go back like the only sane character in a movie.  
So you turned around, reached for your music-player and secured in on the jacket. You grabbed the ironrod, stepped out of your dark spot and already took the first swing with it. The hit was precise and went right through his dark haired head with the unnoticed sharp side so the next thing you saw was half of his faceskin rippin open as well as his eyelids wich then exposed an endless flood of dark blood. He didnt even see the next hit coming.  
Yet you saw in the corner of your eye the look of a boy, icecold and halfdead tide to a seat in the backpart of the hall. He left his head hanging, drained and sad looking. He seemed to know that he couldn’t do a thing against the heavy chains keeping him tied down nor the man that kept them captured in here or the bloodtransfusion wich was undoubtedly the reasons for his foggy eyes.  
As soon as the stuff that you saw also arrived in your head it already felt wiped out. Unfortunately for the abductor because of anger and fury over their missing right to drain this boys body dry like some kind of crazy nurses.  
At this point the rest of your morals were left standing in the rain and the logic of someone different took over your actions. Luckily your abilty to control your aching body stayed, wich on the other hand then decided to take the next hit to the nearest men. The last part of your focused brain was then used to realize that the thing that came flying against you was a fist as revenge for your attack.  
The pain was little against the growing nausea, wich was caused by now seeing your half exposed legbone. But this again was nothing against your fucking will to free those fucking guys from their goddamned situation.....at least thats what you thought. Your body on the other hand didnt seem to catch onto your rising self-esteem as much. You sank on your other knee and as your last try to at least safe yourself, you pulled on the temptingly near trouser leg to get him on the dirty ground too. Now he was the one with the worse position and the terrifying look on his face, wich strengthend your fury again. However that was soon overthrown by the feeling of keeping this as short a possible now.  
Following this feeling because it didnt seem too wrong, you took a random shiny thing lying around next to you and stabbed right into his upper shoulder in order to nail him thight to the floor wich earned a hissing sound from your opponent, making you feel like you hit a very painful part wich you werent sorry about at all.  
But still there was a bit of anger remaining , however, for the better of you. You stood up again, wobbly, but you stood and looked into the faces wich changed remarkable. The blue eyes from one of the man were full of pain and almost glowed ( not to your surprise because deep in his stomach was a knife stuck like in the guy next to you) wich may was the cause of the shocked look and screams of the other two as well as the half awake stare of the boy.  
You saw the panic on all of their faces but couldnt help to notice the now third guy attacking you. Great. Ding ding ding. Round 3.  
But this time not only your eyes were black from fury, his eyes were too. Rather..... _possessed black_. Not fair at all...  
In the time were the wounded agent sank to his knees you couldnt really see anything else but two broad shoulders approaching fast.

_Just.Give.Up._

_Pff, you wish._

  
You believe you couldnt think of something more derogatory in the short time frame you had (although you never lost the desire to make an sarcastic remarke). Nonetheless you took the seconds instead to concentrate on the facts of your next fight: broad shouldern, heavyly trained, black eyes, cold expression...  
And your next step seemed to be all clear because you were not one to not acknowledge this little fact of him being a goddamn _demon_.

However not until your second victim painfully exhaled next to you, you reacted and pulled the knife from his shoulder to simultaneously take a step forward. With a clearly audible crack from your knee you sank the knife into his knee and with that the dreadful face of your opponent came dangerously near to you. You followed these foreign thoughts further and your next hit went right through his chin into his face, therefore tearing his scarred face apart in a swift motion.  
**_Yes right there, now go deeper until his eyes glow._**  
So your body followed your mind without hesitation. The tiniest bit of relieve ran through your body when the glowing eyes actually appeared right in front of yours, reinfocrcing how the strange predicitons in your mind were correct.  
With that the thoughts not only kept you from your death but also from the things happening around you in the same time frame. The lumberjacks finally seemed to join your actions and almost too skilled put the ones left to a painful rest.(not that you minded it at all) Those however didnt seem to have a plan wich involved to run for their lives, even if they were in an inferior position. So the only thing left to do for you was help the boy wich seemed to get more and more aware of his panik. In order to ease the painful look and the rising angst on his face you removed the heavy chains.  
Now wide-awake and alerted he gripped your hand way too tight. Your face twisted in pain because it seemed like from your left punch until now it had indeed not magically healed like you hoped. Your thoughts were repedently wiped away from the spreading pain and replaced by something way more annoying. Another train of thought not made by you.

**_Listen please!_ **

**_Can you not these are by all means my thoughts and its called a monologe._ **

**_No listen help him!_ **

His voice broke at the last part and almost distraced you from the emerging image in your eyesight when you turned around...but only almost. His voice didnt even have to convince you, as you immediately sank next to the heavy injured man in a blood soaked trenchcoat.

**_Stop, Jack let her go._ **

**_No Castiel she can do this she can...._ **

**_Would you stop arguing now let me...let ME do this.. whatever it is._ **

Along the last part you thoughts were alone again but not for long because another voice, more then helpful before, emerged from the back of your mind. You just now thought how you were schizophrenic. _Awesome_. At least one of them seemed to be a doctor of some kind.

**_Y/n do you want to help him. This man._ **

**_Can i?_ **

**_Yes you can_ **

**_Should i?_ **

**_You tell me that._ **

**_Well he means a lot to every single one of you._ **

**_What? No thats not how thi...  
Why do you think this?_ **

You sighted in your mind and answered a little tired: **_You see the panic in their eyes. Its as big as yours and just as wild as the desperation in the ones of the boy.  
I cant just see them, if my pain wouldnt numb my senses, it would probably kill me. Now tell me what should i do that you apparently cant?_**

Unter the instuction of someones thoughts you layed the twiching hand on your chest and took a deep breath. Almost halfway through it, you felt his hand pulling back, but there was no way of you even letting him despite his pleading look as if he would know what was about to come.

The white light abruptly blurred your last sense of balance and you fell on your open knee. And it also would have hurt if your brain wasnt already into full pain overdrive. It ripped you apart, your litteral self. The now blue light gripped you tight and all you could do was gaps for air, unable to express any kind of sound with your convulsioning body. Basically, it hurt like hell.  
Not even the sight of the completly healthy, now upright sitting man could keep your limp body to stand up in schock as you saw him just a moment ago on being borderline dying and on the edge of death. Not only one but multiple pair of hands feathered your fall wich wouldnt have to be done because you nonetheless fell into deep darkness half the way down.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmhmhhhh why did the reader so suddenly decide to attack them...it’s a mystery? Will we ever know??  
> Maybe guess in the comments if you want to join in here for a longer time :D
> 
> Music recommendations:
> 
> Drive- Halsey

You didnt even hesitated a second to get consumed by an eternal, cold darkness because you had literally no nerve left for the pain or confusion waiting in your body. But of course the time to relax a bit were kept short with your kind of luck. Yet, you denied to open up your eyes so you just listened to the unknown voices wich came to your ears one at a time through a thick fog of flimmering lights.

_...i am trying to tell you here, her soul is nothing ive ever seen. Her thoughts just invaded mine like i was crazy._

_First of all you are, second of all you have no right to even speak._

_Well Dean is right so Cas tell me what you think._

_He is right indeed. She is different from a normal soul but by no means an angel._

With great pleasure you would have talked back to the soft voice wich seemed to be the nearest to you but your twiching body now as well seemed to awake and the first thing it did was flood itself with a panicked feeling, attaching to every nerve left, like it was the only thing helping you right now. Good plan. Only the silent sound of music mumbling between the louder growing voices seemed to be a steady thing to rely on, since you didnt trust yourself anymore after you driven yourself into all of this and now probably being on the way to a hospital wich bills you couldnt pay.

_Shh the music i wanna..._

**_Aha so my taste in music didnt really change after the attack of those strange thoughts on my own ones..._  
**  
However your voice sounded like it was run over by countless trucks. At least your interruption caused the others to remain silent and you focused on the music wich carried you further away.

_Cas is she really awake?!?_

All of the four persons seem to change positions to stare at you and the car felt like it was swerving.

_That is not good for your body please get back to rest._

_Cas how is this possible when you .....i mean lucifer did this even i was knocked out for hours._

The two worried voices were the last thing you were aware of and finally you fell back into a insensate like sleep. You werent getting anything from the real time at this point. Not the four people beginning to argue nor the arrival of the car at the destination wich you had no influence on, in your state of mind or body.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Recommendations:
> 
> Ghosts - Banners
> 
> Later:  
> Lost it to trying (Lostapup Mashup) - Son lux

Luckily for every person that gets abducted by strangers you woke up in a empty room. You sighed, not from any relieve, but of the massive headacke that had gotten the best of you. You tried to focus with your eyes around the room but it took you a few minutes to get adjusted to the lit room, just about being able to make out a light switch. With more then wobbly knees you stood up with a blanket around your shoulders to give you some kind of shelter at least. As soon as you turned the lights off your eyes adjusted far better and you could make out how cozy the room actually was. Well it wouldnt be for everybody but you kinda liked it. A shelf on the side, a vintage table and a nightstand next to the bed with bloodstains on it. Great...that again didnt look promising at all. For the first time after you woke up you looked down at yourself only to realize that under the blanket your shirt was gone as well as your shoes. Even better: instead of your shirt a white / red bandage was tightly wrapped around you. Well even if you were being abducted they atleast took some kind of care or the hipsters took over the world and built a vintage hospital without your knowing.  
Because your fuzzy mindstate didnt made any of this easier you werent really ready to go out of the door nor you wanted to know if you were locked in here.  
You remembered the last scenes in your head wich also werent helping you at all much for your uprising concern. You watched the memories three times but the only things that were apperently stuck with you were the faces of the boy and the agent. For your misfortune a picture of the black eyes from your attacker flashed through your mind and you connected some dots.  
Because you sure as hell didnt get out of that fight without any backlash you assumed the wound on your chest was from him. Of course you didnt realize that during the fight but in the heat of the moment you were pretty confident with yourself so you must have missed that small detail wich got covered up by your pride about not dying right there and then.

More than those memories didnt came back from the darkness you woke up minutes ago. You still stood in the middle of the dark room but were finally certain what to do. You grabbed the doorhandle and pushed it, hoping that if it would be locked you could kind of break it. What a genius idea and you would have rolled your eyes right at yourself if the door was locked. But no, it wasnt wich was, you had to say, a good point for the people that brought you here. A little glance of hope at the end of the tunnel...no literally. You stuck your head outside and saw a bright light shining from one of the other rooms, appearently open. As silent as possible and in the best manner of mission impossible you sneaked closer, already hearing voices. Your pumping heart however now decided to wake up also and join the fun. Now panik kicked in. Great.... again. Nothing stopped you and your blanket now anyway and as you stumbled back down the hall in the other direction and you hoped so hard that none of the doors you passed suddenly opened. As you looked around the corner at the end of the long hall wich seemed to lead to a even bigger one you held your breath for the simple reasons to hear if the voices were coming closer. No still no sound of walking or movements from out of the room. You entered the hall but pressed yourself on the wall back again like your life depended on it, wich it was. As you looked around the military base looking hall the only thing that came close to an entrace was a heavy looking metal door at the end of a staircase right next to you.  
You clinged onto the railing on the way up but let it loose enough to run as fast as possible up the stairs, ignoring the little metal spikes wich tormented the last healthy part of your body. No fucking around with the precious alone time because for now you didnt had the urge to meet the suit guys from the barn again, you just had to get out asap. But the luck at your first door didnt seem to transfer to this one. You twisted and tried to “unscrew” the weird looking bunker door but not a single thing moved exept something in the back of your head. A scream. Not from you and not at all from your thoughts but it didnt went through the hall either. It was in your head but not from you. Fuck. Now the only thing you new was that the schizophrenic thing that happened to you in the barn wasnt a one time occurence. You listened closer to the back of your mind completely zoning out on top of the stairs. The screaming turned to the wimpering of a small child so silent it almost went but after a few seconds a even stronger one came back, more terrifiying than anything. You shhhd yourself, now trying to get the voice to calm down because what were you supposed to do, it was not like there was a instruction to such things.

**_Please stop please you have to be silent. Just shhh_ **

Nothing only wimpering. You braced yourself for another scream wich came a few seconds after the wimpers descended.

**_As long as you are not trying to help me, shut the hell up!_ **

You got furios on why this happened right now right here so you basically screamed in your head for the voice.

**_TELL ME WHO YOU ARE RIGHT NOW OR STOP._ **

Nothing for a few seconds but then a again a silent and shattered voice answered

**_...here._ **

**_Wow...WOW. here . That helped so much i cant even fucking comprehend the information flow that comes at me._ **

You looked around the hall again to get a better view and maybe find another way out of this mess.  
Wimpering and sobbing. Now louder.  
Where here, you didnt even know where here was. The only thing to do was climb down the stairs again and run through this maze, desperatly searching for another exit.  
Sobbing again. Louder than the last time.  
Like a goddamn radar you spinned around but the only sight of life was the real life voices coming from the lit up room and...crying, like the one you heard in your head. Slowly shoving yourself forward you identified the voice as exactly the one in your head but now others layered on top of this one. Not exaclty relief but some kind of soothing energy came from some soft voices wich you recognized...from the ride in a car. You remembered how one of them told you to keep sleeping and kept you grounded in those endless seconds of pain and distress that flodded every muscle.  
In a matter of fact the other voices didnt sound quite as soothing but just because of the slight panik as an undertone from all of them. The voice in the back of your mind slowly turned down and you would have been relieved if it didnt felt like it was dying and a part of you with it. The hallway felt icecold and the blanket was no protection against it, feeling a perishing wind against the uncovered parts. You reached the doorframe in a mattter of seconds after the rising uneasyness grew with the descending of the voice inside of you, now peaking around it to hear the wispering voices barely audible for your numb ears. But before you could take in anything they said you twitched at the sudden outburst from one of them wich then another joined.

_JACK I NEED YOU NOW LISTEN YOU HAVE TO BRING HIM BACK YOU CAN DONT LIE._

_LUCIFER STOP HE CANT, NOT UNDER PRESSURE BELIEVE ME WE TESTED IT._

You peaked around more to see the fbi agent first. He looked angry and frustrated but at least healthy after what you did to him wich you still vividly remembered. You kept pushing yourself foward but stayed perfectly silent, being proud of yourself for not getting spotted. But that wasnt much of an achievement as everyone in the room clearly watched another guy wich lied open on the bed in the middle. After you watched him for some seconds just barely breathing and because you couldnt see his face you looked the other people up and down.  
So the three lumberjacks were still with us after what happened in the barn. One large, a smaller one, both muscular and the third one a bit messy looking...all seemingly staring down helpless except the messy who lifted his head, desperatly trying to hold back tears.  
No matter how weird all of this seemed if someone cried out of pure sadness it got to you. Before your tears start to well up you quickly switched your focus to a little guy...the boy wich cowered in a corner and seemed more than intimidated with a touch of anger on his face. No he got to you. He looked way to helpless pushing you over a moral edge you didnt know you still had. This was enough for you and after you checked that nobody seemed to do anything about him nor that anyone of them had any weapons you took actions because if you could help you would and aint nobody could hold you back then.  
Though your mind was strong, apparently your body still shook violently at the idea. Of course. So the only walk that was left in the storage was the silent, intimidated one. At least you could sneak up on them a bit before you had to actually face them wich did seem like it could calm you a bit. The won time allowed you to shove the blanket a bit further on your arms as you approched the boy in the corner. First nobody even noticed you, they were all so lost, like in a trance you fell when thinking to hard and wandering of until your body only remained in standby mode.

You passed them and everyone basically jumped back from you. You appreciated that for the reason of you feeling how they had no control over your actions and not knowing what they could expect from you, on the other hand you also didnt knew that.  
The boy as well as the patient lying didnt move a bit so you stopped right before the one in the corner. After a failed try to look him in the eyes you layed your safety blanket, as you called it now, around his shoulders wich relaxed immediately. It suprised you but kept you more grounded and ensured, transferring visibly onto him. The silent whimper of the guy turned down and your own mind tried to do the thing you didnt had a name for. This insane mind multi conference, trying to reach a solution to this riddle wich felt like it was right in front of you. He looked up as if he heard your monologe. And he joined...

**_Hey...are you jack?_ **

He nooded

**_Great, oh uhm... are you ok can you remember the thing that happened in the barn too?_ **

He nodded again

**_Ok now this wasnt a coincidence anymore i really did this i spoke to him.  
Do you want to stay here its ok if you want i will watch you...if that...helps_ **

**_Yes._**  
His voice was barely there, only a whisper, too scared to tell you the truth.  
You didnt know how to else comfort him so you just wrapped the blanket around him even thighter and suddenly ran your hands through his hair...and you would have stopped, you still didnt know him only his name, but it was something that relaxed you and it was a sign that it did him too when he shut his eyes thight. Even as his eyes didnt seem to get to you  
anymore with their sadness his face now showed every other emotion, mostly worry. You slowly backed away as to not disturb him anymore than he already was and stood up, not as strong as you inticipated and still shaking like a friggin little dog.  
**_Jesus get your shit together like right now they are staring at you._**  
And they were, the three lumberjacks plus the agent stood in shock but nobody aproched you any further. You couldn’t even look them in the eyes you just stared at the bed were everything of your focus went. The guy lying there wasnt just ill or hurt he looked like a year of torture in one person. His mouth sew shut and every cell looked like it had been went through not only a lot, but a shit ton.

_Sam we dont have time for her right now get her back to the room and give her the talk or smth else i dont know._

His voice startled you. It sounded so helpless...

_Hey come with me its okay he will be better._

His soothing voice alarmed you because it clearly seemed to lie and thats a feeling youre not getting off easily. Or it was something else...another feeling of...being watched evoked in you wich you clearly were but in your thoughts too. Well now this safeplace in your mind shattered like anything else into spikes of glass wich spread the feeling of danger further throughout your veins. For the first time after you got into the room you looked into the blue eyes of the agent as well as the messy lumberjacks. They both looked at you, yes, but they also looked at your thoughts, like what you were thinking in that moment. You stopped thinking for a second and let yourself listen to your heartbeat increasing as the, not in any way small, guy approched you. Luckily the other two also felt your panik rising again and getting the better of you. The agent grabbed the tall one by his broad shoulders before he could reach your hand.

_Sam dont she is getting scared_

_I know but we dont have time. Dean is right we have to help him right now she will be fine. I will take her back to her room she cant help him..._

**_Now you HOLD UP JUST A SEC in the moment someone tells me i cant do something its like youre challenging me to do it._ **

Like the agent knew what you were speaking of he held the guy-apparently Sam- still away from you. Bless him. You couldnt take being shoven into any other room right now. Not that you ever in your life wanted to be shoven in a room.  
You snapped back to the guy that became so silent, so alarmingly silent. You wanted to ask him anything, his name at least but with his mouth fucking-sewed-shut that wouldnt work in any shaper form.

**_Dont give up listen._ **

The messy lumberjack visibly shook by your thoughts or just in general at the horrifying sight of the man wich would be a more sane explanation here and in general.

You turned back to the guy wich eyes stared at you but at least they were open now. He had heard you and looked at you terrified, so you couldnt resist with this sight of him knowing the end of his lifetime is near.

**_I meant what i said dont give up. I healed worse than this._ **

And you meant it as you vividly remembered the agent being almost a human on a stick. The only thing what held you back on doing the same process with him is that you didnt know if this all happened actually because it might as well had been a dream after you got hit on the head. And you couldnt just kneel down next to him, press his hand on your chest and hope for some kind of wonder.  
But exibit A, still sitting in the corner and staying silent in his pain, proofed you wrong. And you knew it wasnt much because he “just” nodded at the questions wich came from your thoughts. But everything was worth a try at this point so you kneeled down next to the bed. Ok wrong decision. You hissed at the pain that went trough your back coming from your knees.  
Two of the others however were behind you already, so fast, you thought you just missed some seconds of reality. But when none of them wanted to help you up again -wich was a bit rude you had to say- you continued as you did with the agent in your, how you still a little bit hoped, dream.  
His hand was heavier and didnt try a thing to hold back yours wich carried it to your banaged chest. Hoped it would still worked...

And it did. Way too fast. Like you suddenly looked right into the sun with no ability to shut your eyes. So yellow so warm but so light. The only thing similar to the last time was that you felt a hand grab after you, yourself. Not after something inside of this “meatsuit” as you liked to call it. As it rea  
ched for you and covered your whole self you felt everything of you getting drained. This light was way stronger than the one before. Or as you wanted to say weaker so it needed more. It was stronger in the sense of getting every last part of your soul you guessed.  
As the light faded into what seemed like a tunnel you came back to what your body was actually feeling wich was no good but you already were in reality, chained to it, and nothing that waited there for you was what you wanted. Pure pain. Heat like everything was burning. No blood in your veins just needles. You didnt even fell back onto you head wich was damn disappointing. Why? Because you would have rather hit your head and fall into coma than to keep being in this body wich currently consisted and ran on pain entirely. Just the slightly cold wind wich came to the uncovered parts of your body was enough to get your other senses going again. You felt a lot of twitching from your uncontrollable body, but also some kind of hands that carried you.  
**_Nice. I am getting carried to my grave.  
Bury me guys and lay me to rest i dont even want this body anymore..._**  
You heard running sounds and a lot of names being called wich you didnt even care about in this moment as you knew you would forget them anyway like you always do so you didnt pay attention.

_ahHhAAAAA_

The scream was yours and you didnt even try to hold back, because the pain once again got the better of you and your A+ dark humor when you were being repositioned in someones arms.  
You felt some kind of liquid but you werent fully aware of your overstimulated body to make out what it was. Well after you opened your eyes it was more than clear..literally,like....it was water. But seriously? The only thing what they could think of was a bath.  
The explanation followed in no time when suddenly a group of people entered the room you were in. At least it was big enough for all of them to stand around you and stare.

_Pour it in and castiel keep the temperature low._

_...Hold her head up...._

All the voices mashed together slowly but you opened your eyes again after you didnt even noticed that they closed, to see what they were doing.

_Castiel just heal her your grace is on a hundred percent we cant let her be tortured like this._

_You dont understand she..._

The soft agent voice got interrupted by an unfamiliar one.

_No sammy that wont work none of us know how to heal her. Her construction is another one. Not like Jackis or yours, or ours if you will._

This was probably the voice of the man you hoped you healed with your actions  
**_.... call me Y/N the wise healer from now on. I dont even care for my body anymore and just want to see the face of the guy._**  
But you didnt even had to he reacted like he heard you and appeared in your sight in no time.

_Hey kiddo, your head is still really hot, mind if let it sink into the water for a few seconds. Watcha think?_

As a sign of approval you just relaxed and let a soft hand push you under water and you felt ice cubes tumble over your numb face. Another one of your safe places~underwater. No sounds and no voices anymore, no feelings of panik or horror, and slowly also no feeling over your burning body. You let everything relax including your consciousness and let it go, because what was there left to do.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Recommendations:  
> Jerry Folk - Money  
> Or  
> Leon - the japanese house

It took you a while to realize you werent dead. Like when you wake up after a nap and you dont know what time it is...or century. First thing was still pain but luckily it settled after a while, you couldnt even tell how long until you lost your sense of it. The next thing you tried was to move..no chance.

 ** _Ok what about my breathing, if im alive i had to breath....duuuh._**  
But yes your breathing was going silent but steady. You felt the movement of your chest and how heavy it weight, or something on it maybe a blanket or the bandage...maybe the bandage was still wrapped around you.  
Suddenly a crack in your ears startled you and you thought you just about lost your hearing, but the opposite was what happened. Slowly some sounds came to you, luckily no voices, just silent humming, and it was familiar. You waited a bit for the rythm to remind yourself where you heard it before. It was one of the songs from your playlist wich consisted only of music from your favourite band. It was actually for situations just like this...ok a little bit different ones but still. It was made in the sense to calm you and make you sleepy sometimes, to let completely go. You wondered if you put your headphones in to listen to it but you couldnt remember that you even woke up after the icecold bath.. ** _.yea right....that happened._**  
You were tired of being shut down from the world and constantly unconcious with those strangers around you, having only them to rely on when you were rather someone who never trusted anybody. But you had to look, had to know what your situation was right now no matter how much you liked your slumber with this so calming music and not caring about you condition of mind and body...

Like the feeling when you fell in a dream your whole body twitched with a short shock. The only thing however that came to the surface from your rude dream interruption was your eyes finally opening. Finally. And it wasnt even that bad everything was dark and a bit blurred. You blinked to focus and after a while you could already make out spots of light that emerged from the dark.  
**_Weird, where do they come from? Am i standing or lying?_**  
You couldnt feel your body any time soon so it was no indication. You rolled your eyes to the side and your head seemed to follow a bit too. Right next to yourself you saw the sources of light, candles, as well as the small music box wich played already the next song, an even better one. You sighed. They probably hacked your ipod and now they had your music.  
**_I am screwed, they could do whatever they want with me, they found my weakness, my everythi..._**

You heard a source of rumbling behind you interrupting your dramatic train of thought but it was probably caused by your sighting.  
**_Fuck. I let myself get spotted._**  
However you finally felt your body reacting. Your breathing got hitched and your hands touched the blanket your were tucked under. But no matter how you would have rather just closed your eyes again and fall back to sleep you had to get going. You closed your eyes again and tried to concentrate on your neck and how it slowly turned. Finally the rest also awoke and you felt a stretch coming. You know these long ones and after them you feel really tall and suddenly awake. You sat up. Still eyes closed as to not get confronted with what waited for you yet.  
More rumbling. And wings flapping.

 ** _Say whaaat, where was i, on a roof with birds?_**  
  
You opened your eyes and realized you were in the same room you woke up the first time, same door, same bed. You looked down and there was also the same bandage still wrapped around you. You further tried to move your stiff hands and curled them into the blanket and lifted it up to your head. You let your head sink into it, felt the soft fabric and smelled the clean scent of it. You used the blanket for some seconds to get your breathing rate back to normal and then layed it over you shoulders to cover them again. Something in the left corner of your eye moved and your head followed it so quickly you clearly heard it making a crack sounds. **_Ouch_**.

But there they stood...all the friggin time there sat the tall one, Sam you guessed, as well as...

_Gabriel, hey kiddo_

_Where you here all the time?_

_Yes but just because i realized you were awake,_ _im sorry._  
He smiled like he was not.

_How long was i out?_

  
Suddenly afraid of the answer.

_About 5 hours. Its 11pm_

_Damn my normal time is like 10 hours i could have slept longer jeeez_

They both laughed and your mission was accomplished, now they were a bit more loose.

_Do you want to still sleep we can go? Come on moose lets give her some time she earned it._

They were so quick out the door you basically yelled at them.  
_Hey where are you going wait for me._

You jumped up, right on your feet and your body striked immediately. Your head started pulsating and your knees shaking. Sam was right by your side, wrapped you up in your blanket and held you tight on your feet.

 _Thanks_  
You inticipated to tap him on the shoulder but you noticed you just almost reached up to his chest. You looked up...  
_Wow i understand the nickname now_  
and you looked to gabriel..  
_He is friggin tall._

 _Tall and sweet_...gabriel winked at you from the doorframe.. _Follow me the others are waiting down the hall._

 _You good to go?_  
Sam looked concerned.

 _Yea of course its just_  
You felt weak and embarrassed  
_Can i keep the blanket..maybe?_

 _Hahaha yea you can. Tell me if you need another one_  
He smiled and you realized gabriel was right.. he was so sweet.  
He walked safe behind you as you followed Gabriel through the hall. You knew where he was going as you remember what was connected to the long corridor. The high hall would have given you a feel of freedom but it was so cold you shivered under your blanket and followed Gabriel even closer to get covered up by his shoulders from the cold wind and the other man you saw standing around a table. As soon as you realized you were hiding behind him out of pure fear you jumped forward to get a better look of the hall. **_Wrong decision.  
Abort mission i repeat: Abort mission._** Why? Because now there were the four man you “missed”...  
At least the agent smiled at you but just like he was being forced. Coooool.  
You didnt even wait for someone to take action, you just had to go for it, what could go wrong now.

 _Jack ...hey how are you?_  
**_Wow i even remember his name good job._ **

He looked up and you saw the tears he held back. You rushed to him and couldnt help but search in his thoughts for more answers, but you just felt one feeling in him: stress. That probably came from the other two guys that stared him down.

_Stop that you are stressing him dont you see?!_

_WHO ARE TOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO?_

You flinched at the outburst of the messy lumberjack and turned around to face him. He looked a bit surprised because of your now angry expression.

_Shut up little brother she could save me do you remember? Was just like some hours ago!_

**_Yeaaaa you go Gabriel. I love his sarcastic tone, its right up my alley._**  
You saw him smiling the tiniest bit at your comment..or something else you assumed.

You turned back and slowly approched him.  
_Oh im sorry teach me. Who should i tell what to do._

He grinned... ** _oh shit_**.

_Stop that she wont...._

_No no Cassi she asked so nicely why wont i tell her._  
He turned back to you.  
_Lucifer, fallen Angel, fave son of God and the guy that everybody hates on for no reason..._  
He looked around the room with raised eyebrows.

No joke. He wasnt joking no, his thoughts were clear and there was no evidence of him lying, why would he too? You stayed in his thoughts a tad bit longer and watched how he transformed. His feelings turned to Anger, then dissapointment and then..hurt.  
You knew all of this was real. You read his thoughts and could feel what he felt.But you returned your focus to the argument wich wasnt unknown to you and you already made up your opinion on this God against Satan scenario since you first heard that there was such a thing like religion. So you made a plan wich would suprise him in his play.

 _Im sorry. Im sorry for what humankind did to you. Nobody would stay sane if everyone thought someone is bad no matter how hard they try you get ...convinced by their opinion that you are._  
You paused a bit  
_Its been like that for too long._  
You couldnt bring yourself to smile but looking him in the eyes was the most you could bring up right now. You were honest and let him feel that when you didnt look away. Yet he turned away after a moment like he was hurt by your words. Point for you. Your voice in a perfect steady tone and slightly turned down so he had to listen closely to hear you. On the one hand you wanted to show this ridiciulously uncontrolled man who he spoke up against but on the other hand you thought so much in the silent moments about the „legends“ you heard about him and how you would feel as a powerful being, yet getting turned down by so many, not capable of using the powers for good.  
However who wouldnt build walls after thousands of years. And you cant just let them down in seconds, that just not how this, all of this, works.  
At least you were now a bit more confident. Some myths wich you heard through your life were true. Angels and Demons as well. Both existing, and thats was a fact now. And you tried to get more infos as the next worry child came along.

 _Castiel_...  
He looked up, so you were right.  
_Are you an angel like Gabriel and Lucifer?_  
You came right at him with the question, because his thoughts felt like the ones from Gabriel and Lucifer but you couldnt read them that easy. You shortly remembered that Lucifer was an archangel just like Gabriel and what you read about them, but his answer brought you back to reality.

 _Yes_.

You didnt let him further explain. Once you had the lead on a convo you wouldnt let it go, not now. Your self-esteem was already on the edge to nothingness since you stepped in the hall.

_Are you ok after what i did to you...were you in pain, did it hurt?_

_Not at all Y/N. Your soul gave me more energy than i needed in fact._  
His voice was a raspy but a bit more relaxed. You nodded at him with respect. He looked like he had been through a lot.  
**_Thank you for caring for me on the car ride it helped._**  
You spoke quiet but you knew he heard your thoughts, he looked brighter, but suddenly the, until this moment, silent one spoke up.

_How do you even know what they are? What are you?_

_Dean hey._ Sam probably tried to calm him but it sounded more like an accusation.

 _Lucifer told me he was... lucifer. So far as i know Lucifer was an Angel and maybe he still is. But i believe him somehow, i dont feel like he would lie._  
You gave him all your trust right there and then or else you would look crazy too for believing an insane man. You looked at him for backup but he was still not facing the group of people so you continued.

 _In the barn i came across you all and you were obviously trapped i couldnt just walk away. I saw Jack, how he was tortured....it wasnt right none of it was. I promise i didnt know that the attackers were actual demons it took me by surprise._  
You lightly felt your knuckles and remembered the punches you gave out but also collected.  
_I grown up with my uncle and he told me about monsters and ghosts and stuff and i learned to fight them...but never actual demons.._.  
You choked at the thoughts of your memories and hoped you had to do no further explaining about the past.  
... _about demons and angels i only heard rumors. And then i saw Castiel and Jack told me to help him and..... i kind of could.... somehow.._

 _No hold on he didnt TELL you anything_.  
Dean looked more and more confused, mixed with anger.

_Exactly and i know how crazy it sounds but i could hear Jack and Castiel and Gabriel and Lucifer and they all could all hear my thoughts._

_Its ok you are right._  
Gabriel layed his hand on your shoulder ever so slightly not to hurt you.  
_We are angels...Jack however is just a half portion. He_  
Gabriel pointed at Jack  
_Is the son of my lovely brother Luci here._  
_And Castiel is the little guardian angel of the winchester bros :_ _moose and squirrel and owners of this cozy little home_ ( he added with a slight sarcasm). _He may not be as strong as me or Luci but he got some things in stock i must say._  
His voice following along his finger, pointing everyone out.

Sam interrupted with worry in his voice.  
_Stop it Gabriel thats a lot to take in, let her think for a moment._  
And he was right it was a lot. You were open minded but so many infos at once took a lot of energy. You suddenly felt really tired. You let the said words run over you again. You saw ghosts and skinwalkers. You saw monsters so why not angels and demons too? You felt ridiculous but the two brothers seemed to go along with it even though they didnt look like demons or angels.  
You looked at Sam and Dean.  
_Winchesters?_  
They both looked at you.  
_Im sorry to ask you even more but are you two the hunters i heard from?_  
They seemed surprised but nodded.  
You felt even more tired when all the stories you heard came rushing back from your memories and with them some bad memories too. In order to distract yourself you stepped further to Sam and Dean. You sank your head down not knowing what of an answer to your next questions to expect.

 _I heard you helped other hunters a lot and saved many lives._  
Deans face lit up a bit and Sams went red on the compliment wich was not one. It was now a fact, you had to take it as one. The other option was to believe the horror storys.  
_Thank you for saving mine after those things in the barn attacked me._ Your eyes fell almost close your energy ran out.

 ** _Oh god not a good sign when i get sleepy i get all mushy and feely._**  
But you still managed to look Dean in the eyes. They turned soft like those from Sam, just like brothers.

 _Thanks for saving ours and Cas_. He visibly shook a bit and looked at him. Castiel smiled back.

 _Uhmm.. mr.Winchester._.. **_oh god i started to get all polite and crap_**.. _. do you mind if i stay for another night im pretty sure no taxi comes by here at this time?_

 _No need for asking its all right.We will sort the rest later._  
Sam layed his hand on Deans shoulder and it looked like he was proud of him. Dean looked back. You turned around and had a bit too much trust in your sense of direction and location.  
**_Fuck. There were two corridors on each side where did i came from._**  
This time you were actually glad that someone listened to your thoughts without asking and Castiel stood beside you, leading you without another word to your room wich was indeed in the left corridor. Good to know.  
As soon as you entered the music transformed your legs into mashed potatoes and the bed looked like it was made of cotton candy. You slowly approached it and basically embraced it with your whole body. You couldnt help it, it was too soft.  
You didnt even managed to pull up the blanket, but someone different still did. Jack seemed to have followed and stood infront of you, next to Castiel.

 _Thanks Jack, appreciate it_. You smiled a bit, not even sure if it was visible. But he smiled back for the first time since you saw him and sat down next to you. You let your hand sink into his hair, also really soft, and as you drifted away, ran your hand trough it over and over. You were confident in having a good sleep inasmuch as Castiel watched you both, sitting in the armchair on the side as we drifted away. It was the first time feeling like you were being cared about...


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Recommendations:
> 
> Count to nine and good side in from the japanese house

By the time you awoke you actually felt a lot better. You still had the bandage on but this endless tiredness finally seemed to have backed away. You couldnt remember any dreams but were greatful for that. You bet if you had some they would just be weird and confuse you more than you already were by yourself. And you bet if those “angels” could invade you thoughts they could sure as hell enter your dreams, and no need for Gabriel or Castiel or for fucks sake Lucifer to end up in a nightmare of some sort. God be dammed if they would.  
You sat up slowly as to not wake Jack but there was no need for it, he was gone. You were a bit sad and realized how he had become a good friend to you. Not that you had any of those before, but you assumed how it would feel to be so close to someone and know what they were thinking. So basically they were your relatives of some sort. Cool...you guessed.  
The candles still burned for some reason and you looked around the room. At least Castiel still sat there, awake, so you shouldnt have slept for too long.  
 ** _I mean he had other stuff to do, angel stuff of some sort, playing a harp or wander around heaven and seed some clouds._**  
You giggled at the thought of Castiel hopping over a field of clouds and swing his wings up and down to fluff them up.

 _Good Afternoon._  
I felt you slept uneasy, are you in pain?  
Castiel seemed focused again and looked you up and down.  
_Just a headacke and my chest. What time is it? How long was i out for like an hour?_

 _Not exactly. You slept for a day..._  
You probably looked more worried or just really horrible because he quickly added...  
_But that was to expect, your wounds are still deep._

 _They are from those Demons am i right? Looks like i wasnt that good of a fighter as i thought...._ you frowned.

 _No not at all, the wound on your chest comes from me and Gabriel when you...you healed us. Should i further explain?_  
He moved uncomfortable in his seat while watching your expressions. He probably thought you couldnt take more infos and that you were confused. Hell nah.

_Yea, i wanna know what i did to you guys, sounds pretty neat to me if i can repeat it._

_That wouldnt be for the better of you. When you helped me in the barn you let me touch your soul and my own could recharge on it._

_Like a battery?_

_Like a battery but in milliseconds. It goes fast and not only leaves this a mark on your body, it also takes away a lot of energy from your soul wich weakens you. But dont worry , the mark will fade and you will recover._

_Hey no i dont want to i wanna remember whose life i saved.... tell Gabriel he owns me something too then._.. you added it with a smile and Castiel seem to catch onto it.  
_Before i go, can i take a quick shower and have maybe my top back?_

He stared at you for a second like he was thinking but didnt deny. _I wanted to talk to Sam and Dean anyway i will show you the bathroom_.

You slowly sat up as to not cause any more pain and followed Castiel to a large bathroom with a shower and the bathtub. You shivered a bit when you recognized it. It was the one you took the icebath in, but you were not about to repeat that anyway. Your plan was a shower, hotter than hell.

 _Thank you Castiel._.. you turned back to him and smiled but he just stood in the doorframe... _can you tell that Sam and Dean too, i dont know if i will meet them when i go._  
Castiel again just stood there like he was thinking but nodded and turned back.  
_I will send Jack with some towels and your clothes over._

 _Appreciate it!_ But you thought he couldnt hear that anymore. You tried to read his expression in your mind but who were you to interpret the ones of an angel. As far as you knew angels werent even capable of human emotions but decided for yourself to prove that wrong.  
 ** _I mean Gabriel was pretty close to human so Castiel could be capable of it too...to be happy i mean._**  
You just closed the door and shook the head at your wild thoughts. You turned on the little ipod wich still had some battery left. You just now wondered who turned it on anyway when you slept, but it was probably Gabriel.  
So he was capable of empathy...or just a curious asshole.  
Anyway, you liked him. You chose the same playlist and began to undress after you made sure twice that the door was locked. It felt nice to get rid of the fabric you were now wearing for about two days, as it already stuck to you like a second skin and smelled more than gross. You also took the bandage off and understood what Castiel meant with “the mark”. It were two handprints that looked like a burned mark and were layed not exactly on top of each other but a bit seperated. Now you actually hoped Castiel was right when you looked at yourself in the mirror however that was not the most horrible thing on you right now.  
 ** _I look fucking rough._**  
Your head was one messy ball of hair and the bags under your eyes were one indication of your sleep not being as energizing as you thought. Well it could only look better from here on so you stepped under the shower and slowly turned the heat up until the whole room was filled with steam. You breathed it in and let it warm you up from the inside.  
It feels so good.The warm water running down your back. The silent music in the background and the good scents that finally replaced the well...bad ones.  
You took the shower gel wich stood on the side and washed your whole body with it. How long was it ago since you actually had time to care for your body? You always took rushed showers because the gross ones in the motels rooms were for sure no spa. You let your mind be blank for a while and let the new scents relax the last of your strained muscels and memories. For some time only the sound of falling water, just like rain, together with the steam, floated through the room but short after some voices brought you back.

_Castiel told me to bring it to her its ok._

_Jack no that not what he meant she is probably..._

You heard the door unlocking and someone stepping in, right after the door swung open.

It was a picture wich sure as hell would remain in your memories for a while.  
Jack lifting up two towels and some clothes for you to grab them and Sam right behind him. The twist? Yea right, you were naked and there was no other hiding spot whatsoever. Luckily Sam catched onto the situation and reacted quickly. He seemed to have run in with closed eyes and shut Jacks with his hands. He was so red and you laughed of amusement. He probably didn’t expect your laughing and looked shocked.

 _Hey Sam... Jack._ You nooded but they couldnt see you anyway.

You shut off the shower and stepped out of it. You grabed the towels from his hands and wrapped them thight around yourself as fast as posssible.

 _Clear coast. Everythings alright guys_. Jack took away Sams hand and looked like nothing happened...like a puppy. Sam still looked like he commited a crime and just stuttered an answer...

 _Im sorry, Jack you know_.... hes an not here for long... he just doesn’t know how to behave yet. He slowly stepped back out of the door and dragged Jack with him who stumbled back.

 _Well somebody should teach him_...you said accusingly but in a joking tone. You couldnt help but laugh at how he didnt seem to get affected by this - for every other normal human being - akward situation.

_So sorry again..uhm...meet us in the hall whenever you are ready?_

_It might take a while.._. you sighed and looked at yourself in the mirror. You didnt looked a tad bit better and had to do a lot of work.

 _Thats okay i will wait here for you._. and with that Jack closed the door.  
He was no Angel or Human or Demon. He was a straight up golden retriever.  
Because of my past you should have screamed in such situations but you were not like that. You understood how Jack felt now and then. His feelings were confused in such situations and why blame him for not being as experienced. It was easier this way. Better to have less experience than bad one. You had nothing to fear anyway from him or any of the other.... angels. Not even Lucifer, however you were uncertain about Dean and Sam, they are hunters and you knew what kind of people become hunters. You shook your head to get rid of the anxious feelings that kept coming back to you. You dressed up in the jeans and the flannel that Jack gave you and it fit pretty well you were impressed  
 ** _...i hope he didnt sense my body measures or something and if, i have to rethink his powers._**  
You tried to brush your hair but the small brush and your back were just not having it. Your spine cracked and you let the brush fall. No chance in taming this monster but cutting it off was also no option. You wondered if Jack was still outside like he said...

 _Hey Jack?_  
No answer  
_Hey are you still there?_

_Yes i am._

_Can you maybe...help me here a little bit._  
You heard him stand up and stepping in.  
 _Whoa ok very enthusiastic i see._ You giggled at his questioning face, he didnt seem to catch on.  
_Can you just walk through every locked door?_

 _You wanted me to come in, i didnt notice it was closed i just...went through it like i saw Castiel do it sometimes._  
He paused, picked up the brush and started to comb through your hair.

_Hey wha...where you listening to my thoughts again._

_No ....no ...not like that i think you let me in. You have an open mind it’s relatively easy to read them for me although im not trained in it._

_I give that “compliment” right back at you. You and the others helped me a lot in the last days. I mean i am open minded but there were some infos i thought i would never hear in my life._

_Yes it is overwhelming. When i came into this world Dean tried to shoot me because i am a Nephilim...and the son of Lucifer._

_He shot you???_  
You turned around and stared him down with fear but it quickly faded when you reminded yourself that he is a hunter, they do stuff like that.

 _He is a hunter you’re right but Dean and Sam are different_.  
 _ **Dangit. My open mind be dammed he heard me and felt my fear.**_  
_Yea i know_...You turned back around and grabbed your ipod... _Sam seems nice and it looks like Gabriel trusts him and i kinda trust Gabriel so far sooo_.. you huffed and got out of the warm bathroom but the cold corridor felt nice... _whatever. Im just gonna grab my stuff and leave._

You set a fast pace down the hall and didnt leave any time for Jack to respond. You felt confident and were not gonna let that feeling go when you moved quickly into the large hall with your clothes . Everybody stood around the table and it looked like you interrupted a convo when everybody stopped speaking, just hearing the last words in Castiels mind descend, hearing something along the lines of someone getting weaker and blabla something fading but you would be gone in minutes anyway so you shrugged it off. They wouldnt care about you, they just about met you.

_Hey...uhm... im sorry i just wanted to say thank you for the help and shelter..._

_No problem kiddo_...Gabriel smiled warm at you. So your confidence stayed strong in place and you straightened your back for the last few words.

_However...dont want to further interrupt anything here so who wants to show me the exit from this bunker because to be honest i didnt find one..._

They switched to looking into each others eyes and into yours like they were still discussing. Sam started first...

_Y/N do you mind if we ask you some questions first and maybe we can give you some more answers. We could use your help to sort this all out a bit._

You sat down like Jack did and stared at the far distance. It was dark outside anyway and you had time. Not like you wanted to run into the next monster right away.  
_Watcha wanna know?_

Castiel was first... _as you know now there are angels and demons. Where did you heard from them, you didnt seem surprised?_

Every question but this one. But he asked it and your plans of getting out of this as quickly as possible where washed away, seeing no reason why you shouldnt tell them. They could maybe use the infos more.  
_My uncle heard a lot of stories from his friends and so did i. We hung out often in motels and met up with them. He raised me a hunter like he and his friends were when my parents died from a skinwalker probably...not that he ever really told me.._. you couldnt even stop it the memories just came naturally to you. You felt his hand on your cheeks and his fists in your stomach. _He used to beat me up when i screamed at him for not telling me how my parents died. Yea...good family quality time right there. When he finally did he didnt let me leave. He dragged me in full time and took me on hunts. Not that i learned anything from him i just sat in the car or was used as bait...he just saw me like that, a chance to catch more monsters than his buddys and present them proud to any dealer to make more money. In the end i learned more about the various kinds of torture rather than how to actually hunt and trap them._  
You felt the ipod in our hands and tensed up at the thought of everything that you had to learn in the hard way.  
_It was like a community, they exchanged everything, from recepies and throphies to monsters and stories._

_They exchanged monsters, what like some kind of slavery???_

You snapped back from your train of thought. No that wasnt quite the right name of what happened. You actually told them out loud. You looked down at your hands but continued. You would leave here anyway and if this was a dream it didnt matter. It felt good to talk about it, realizing you never did. Deans question still stood heavy in the room...

 _Exactly like that. Witches for protection and healing spells and mostly ghouls or werewolfs for rare ingredients. But the main part was used to test new torture methods._  
You lifted the ipod and spun it in your hands.

 _I cant use it anymore anyway and it seems like you’ve built up a large collection of infos around here. Watch the videos that are on them, i kept them for ya know... dangerous situations but i first would have to catch some monsters to exert them_.

You let it slide across the table to Dean and he catched it, making a move to leave.

_There are some torturing methods you may not know. I mean from what i heard the Winchesters are pretty good at it...and hunting of course._   
_I heard from you guys being friends with angels and demons and you challenging a whole other league but i also often listened to the stories of some families that you guys safed from dangerous monsters i wasnt even aware of existed but i never thought they told the truth. On the other hand i didnt believe in Angels and here they are.  
So use the info for a good sake not like them for fun._

_Sounds like your uncle and his friends are real douchebags._ Dean looked even angrier than a few seconds ago and his comment didnt come across as funny as he may thought it was.

_They were douchebags. They had their hand on a way too powerful witch a few months ago and most of them got burned down at their little meeting of torture-trials. Not that i am sorry about that nooo. I hated every single one of them._

Everyone remained silent for a while but Sam catched up shortly after with a question.

 _Did your uncle knew that your mind was different in some ways_... you looked up at him... _Cas and Gabriel told us a bit but maybe you know more._

 _No not really. I thought i just had a nice imagination. This mind reader thing never happened with any other hunters just sometimes with some witches...but i thought they could do those things not that i triggered all of this. It wasnt fun at all i must say and my uncle got suspicious and tried to use it but when i told him it maybe just were my imaginations he forgot pretty quickly in his nightly drunk sessions..._  
You gestured around your head during this whole episode of dr.Phil not knowing how to even comprehend how open you were with those practical strangers.

Gabriel must have felt your confusion.  
_As far as we can tell you can literally invade someones thoughts like angels can if you want to. Thats pretty strong if you ask me._ He smiled again back down at me. Didnt seem like he ever stopped with that grinning. He looked around to Sam, Dean and Castiel and they nodded.  
_Watcha think of some food you must be hungry_.

He was definitely right but you werent going to accept his offer even though your stomach rumbled for a solid five minutes now and tried to convince you otherwise.

_Nah its fine. I think its enough for one day. I gotta get back to my hotel i have to pay for my room or the rent will get wayyyy to high. Maybe someone can bring me back there. If you need anything else then you can catch up on me._

_You dont want to know anything from us?_  
Castiel looked confused and stood up to approch you.

 _Would that help you_?  
No argument on his side, no answer.  
_See. I guess i will figure it out myself as i go. This,as i said, is another league and you probably dont want me getting involved in this, i couldnt help ya with anything anyway._

_Of course you can help me i told them already and they said you can stay._

_Jack..._ Castiel sighed at his enthusiastic outburst.... _Of course just if you want._  
He looked back at you and layed his head a bit to the side like he was now also questioning you too.

You sat there for probably a minute until Jack scooted closer .  
_I know you are afraid but you are more scared to be lonely in this hotel room. And this hunting you want to continue isnt safe, even Sam and Dean get hurt from time to time._

 _Well MAYBE you are right_....your voice shook a bit... _but i cant._...you’ve grown a bit stronger but were on the edge of tearing up. Your thoughts went wild. You couldnt stay but you couldnt go. He needed you for some reasons and you knew you would help him if you did.

 _You can you just have to want it._.. he stood up and now basically screamed at you... _i cant control what i am and i wasnt able to heal Castiel or Gabriel. They could have died when you didnt_...  
You stood up and faced him. You hated nothing more than getting screamed at and you would have get scared if this was the only options here but no.  
 ** _Listen here, this is what i apperently am now. These thoughts, you can hear them and i yours as well. However: if i may remind you this is new to me. And maybe i want to deal with this alone first, i cant have somebody around me for this...all of those new infos in have to comprehend them somehow..._**

**_This whole world is new to me..._ **

We both went silent for a while, not caring how the others stared at us.  
 _ **We are both pretty lost huh...**_  
You couldnt even tell his voice and yours apart now and you remained silent again, together.  
 ** _I didnt have anything in my hotelroom that was worth a trip back...  
.....You dont...  
Do you really think they will or want to keep me here, Dean didnt really say anything._**

**_He is just frustrated...his mother she is also a hunter and.._ **

**_Dead? Is she dead?_ **

**_No just in a save house. She needed some time apart from this life and Dean didnt really...He misses her, who doesnt with their parents._ **

**_Yours isnt the best start either hm?_ **

**_My mother was, she wanted the best for me, always, and had her mind set on my best chances... on the best life.  
However he wants to train me for his plans probably. But Cas seems to keep me safe like he did with my mother. You can trust him more than myself..._ **

**_I wont even bother to answer that question because you were the one that gave me some kind of stability in this crazy situation here. But i feel ya...literally...So could you actually need me for that...? You want to train with me since we are both new in this kind of world? I mean yes ...we could do it together looks like we are on the same level of self doubt and inexperience but ..._ **

_She said yes._.. he laughed you right in my face... ** _this dipshit._**

 _Im mean whatever...however you just did that. I dont care. Sam, lets go get some food ...he pointed at himself._..starving... _you want to come with us, grab your stuff from the motel maybe?_

 _No no i have to stay here and beat him up first..._  
You glared at him but Castiel and Gabriel who probably followed the convo understood your intentions and laughed silent. Even though he said he wasnt on this earth for long he tricked you into staying. But it wasnt that hard anyway. Once you saw him you knew he was just a bit lost and needed someone to keep him on the right track.

 _We will wait for you guys here and moose_....Sam turned to Gabriel obviously annoyed from his nickname... _bring me some candy i didnt had that for so long._

As soon as they were out the door wich was indeed the one at the end of the bunker you turned around to Jack.

_So you tell me you arent long on this earth but here you are, convincing me to stay like some kind of master mind._

_Yea Jack here is pretty sneaky, something to say for your defence._

_You were about to leave, you thought about it, but you could teach me so much about this world._

_Like what?_

_Like this music you have been listening to!_

_Dont tell me you never heard music before!_

_I did but Dean only listens to what he calles it ....Rock..._

_And not the good one,_ gabriel added and Castiel nodded.

 _Well then it is time for your first lesson._ You picked up your ipod and plugged the earphones in. You chose the one kind of music that was the most far away from Rock. A good ol classical elektro song with nice bass and a clear rhythm, one of your faves of course. You turned back around to Jack, sat him down on a chair and passed him the headphones.

_Put them in your ears and listen a bit._

He looked you in the eyes and twiched when you let the music play. You got sucked right into his thoughts and honestly didnt fight against it. To hear this song for the first time and to feel those feelings again it was so overwhelming and much more intense when you felt it with Jack. The powers he had made everything so full and new again and you felt a prickling down your spine like little lightnings. It all rushed so fast over you you were sad that it didnt stay for longer when you opened your eyes again and the next song came on. Ohhh but you were so wrong.  
Gabriel came closer as well as Castiel.

_Y/N are you in Jacks thoughts right now?_

_Yes but just for some seconds._

_What are you or he thinking of right now?_

_Oh you know this songs always reminds me of feathers because of its light sounds. I always imagined how they float in the wind or something i dont know its stupid._

_Oh kiddo not at all look above you...._

You looked up from Jacks relaxed and closed eyes to the ceiling. It was brown and dark and the lights were gone for some reason.  
Suddenly the ceiling suddenly fell towards you and you jumped backwards against the wall to save yourself.

_WhaaaaAAA what is that??_

When you bumped hard against the wall you saw what actually fell down and it was not the ceiling that was for sure.

_Where did those books come from. What the hell?? Did you..._

_Noho we just watched you two guys. We teleport things and ourselves not manipulate them to ya know...float around._

_What the fuck_. You leaned forward onto your knees to catch your breath. All of this was crazy and Jack didnt even see it, his eyes were still closed and he looked like he was dreaming. _Oh god Jack wake up!!!_

 _No wait._...Castiel held you back from grabbing your earphones and ripping them out... _he didnt do this for a long time its important to know if he can control this. Can you get back to his thoughts and maybe tell him to lift them again?_

 _M..maybe i can try..._. you took a deep breath and went back to his mind but everything was silent like he faded away from his own body. He didnt think of anything he was just so calm and it made you so sleepy that the floaty feeling came back. You opened your eyes and saw that the books corresponded... crazy. _You guys see that too right? Please say yes.._

 _We sure as hell do._ Gabriel scooted closer to you and you slowly heard his voice ascending from the back of your mind.  
 ** _Do you think you can place them back from where they stood?_**

**_  
Well where were they?_ **

**_  
The brown one, the tallest of them on the far right shelf in the back...._**  
And so he directed this insane scenario that was happening like an orchestra. The books floated back to their places as Castiel watched and Jack..well...Jack was pretty much lost in all of this but it was better that way. His feeling of total freedom rubbed off and held you steady. Although you started to tremble at the last few books they were all back in store when we heard the door slam open.  
You breathed heavy and leaned yourself onto the table to not collaps right there and then from this obscene orchestra of total...you didnt even have a name for it. This all took so much energy from you. But on the bright side it didnt hurt.

_Hey guys whats goin on you all look like you have seen a ghost..._

_Oh Deani... we saw something way cooler than that..._

And as they unpacked the burgers and fries~god bless how they smelled~ Castiel and Gabriel explained to them, as well as Jack, who apparently woke up from the doors smashing, what went on.

_So she basically hacked Jacks mind?_

_But i didnt even felt it, maybe she just used my powers, according to Cas i have enough of that._

**_Awww i was proud of this little puppy...he got all sassy in the short time we spend together._** However ...

_Hey guys im right here... not that i have any more answers though..._

_That doesnt matter i told Sam you can train me and you did. Dean you own me 5 dollars..._

Everybody looked at him and exchanged a smile. Exept you. They were all included in this plan. You would have been angry but this felt right. Jack needed you for this and you were finally used for something good.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Recommendations:
> 
> Waiting too long - hippie sabotage

 

Although it was a bad habit of you to nibble on every food you could get your hands on this sandwich didnt survive for more than two minutes. You werent with your uncle anymore, you had to remind yourself of that. You didnt had to fight for food. You didnt had to be the bait anymore and see if you would ever even get your last meal. Standing in some dark woods or at the side of the road at midnight never seemed promising and you just hoped for gods sake that your uncle catched the monster he thought it was. But all of this was behind you, or at least the part of being used as bait, so you hoped.

_Dont you guys eat anything, Jack does._

_If we want to we could but we never have the need to, our bodys run on our grace. However Jack is half human and can consume food if he wants to in order to rest his grace._

Jack just nooded with a smile and swallows the big bite he just took. Nobody should ever tell you the human side in him wasnt strong, especially the part of liking various kinds of foods and candies as well as music. But who doesnt...even Gabriel ate something from time to time and he is a so called “archangel”.

 _Its really delicious you know. And also pie. Dean really likes pie._ ...Jack adds...

Dean just looked shocked like he told you his biggest weakness.  
 ** _Noted. If i ever had to get out of a fight with him i would just throw a pie at him._**  
Jack giggled.

_Jack stop! There is something called privacy!_

_No no but its a good idea. I should try that._

_Try what?_ Dean asked like he knew this was about him or his precious pie.

_Baking... i didnt get to try that in any motelroom ever, but i always saw the bakerys we drove by and watched them, it looked ridiculously good._

_You....you ever tried pie, right?_ Dean looked like he just asked THE questions wich decides if you were sane or not. Well he had his priorities set straight you guessed.

 _No not really. He said if i ever catch a ghost i could have one...didnt know then that that was pretty much impossible._ You puckered your forehead at how dumb you were with him. You never trusted him but believed what he said wich wasnt that much. He wasnt the guy for words more for “actions”. Your stomach was almost about to repeat what it just recieved but you breathed in and out quickly to let the feeling fade. You felt over your elbow at a scar. It was pretty much an “accident” in his eyes but you knew what happened. He came home drunk from a night with his friends and catched you reading like it was some sort of drug or he just chaugh you stealing money. He ripped it out of your hands and threw you on the ground. Not that he helped you, you had to give yourself some stitches to stop the bleeding. Just one of the many stories from living with him for many years and all the scars were a constant reminder of the things you lost....

 _Sammy a beer?_....great. Dean didnt really help you with your nausea and the smell of your drunk uncle in the car came back. He wasnt just a heavy drinker, sometimes there was blood in his alcoholstream. You stood up, hearing the clicking of the bottles, immediately gripping after any excuse to get out of this room to not answer the concerned looks you recieved from the others.

I _wanted to go look after lucifer...see if hes alright. Always wanted to chat with the devi...him._

_Im not sure if thats a good idea kiddo. He isnt the one for talks more for stabbing people when they try to communicate with him._

_Noted._..and with that you were out the door before you could take in the scent of alcohol or the throwup that would immediately follow that. Phew. That was a close one. You execrated yourself for those pathetic mental collapse and why they came up just now and not in the two years of time you could have handled them by yourself...  
You wondered if Jack listened but couldnt feel him in the back of you mind so he was probably occupied with eating and you didnt blame him. Those things werent meant for him and his joyous mind.  
You turned around in the direction of the other rooms but recalled how we got to the kitchen in case you had to find the way back alone. However you didnt know where Lucifers room was anyway, so you just guessed and listened for some sounds. Nothing. And with that i mean literally nothing.  
You could feel his presence but there was not a single thought in his mind, almost like he was blacked out.

The feeling of his presence increased when you went up a little staircase and into a dark corridor. You hesitated if this was really safe to do, he still was kind of evil and not the best guy, easy to burst out in anger and nervous at all times like he had to be aware of something. On the other hand his dad always watched him so he had a legit reason to be on watch out 24/7.

**_You thought wrong. Ol daddy never even bothered to look for his kids hanging around._ **

_Hey thats not nice._

_Well i am not nice._

_Dont say that to yourself._

_Make me little human._

_Open the door and i will._

No answer.  
It was hard to instantly think of some kind of response but not to keep up this fassade of a hurting asshole you trained yourself to be. You now stood infront of a wodden door with metal engravements and knocked on it, wich was pretty dumb if you thought about it but felt Lucifer being startled so if its stupid and it works, it aint stupid.

_Come on Lucifer, you still have to apologize for screaming at me and Jack. Or at least let me in, i probably only have this one chance to see how your room would look like. Mostly posters from bands on the wall i guess and your favourite labels. But since when are you wearing plaid and look like a lumberjack?_

_Hey now thats a bit rude._

_Me? And thats what you call rude? You have to get to know me better and ya will realize this aint the worst side of me._

He had been silent for a while and you honestly thought he just ignored you at this point until the doorknob started to wiggle. You were pretty hopeful that he finally opened the door for you but he instead locked it. dangit. You could have walked in like a badass and be like: no pouting not in my presence, and douche around a bit to make him feel less like the guy everyone thought he was. But you werent going to force yourself onto him. You had a whole bunker to explore for the first time and wasnt going to let this chance pass by. That amount of knowledge in all these books had to be read, had to be stocked up into your brain. You passed some more closed doors but finally a doorway to a rather small but cozy room with two chairs and a sofa in it as well as a small fireplace wich was luckily still on and gave of heat. You spotted a blanked. Yesss. You threw it over your shoulder and wandered along the bookshelfs to decide wich one to consume first. You decided on a rather slim one with the heading “The genealogy of ghouls”. Its was mostly illustrations but also some text in a nice calligraphic style, handwritten of course. As you skipped through the chapters you imagined how much this was worth and for how less your uncle would have selled it off. This douche never got the true power of knowledge. Even when you sat beside him at the poker table you quickly understood the game and their rules, futhermore some tricks on how to win. But you werent allowed to play or speak so you just watched him loosing all his money in delight. Although you knew those dollars would be your dinner on the next day or so. Actually the next picture reminded you of him. Goggly eyes. Wrinkly, foul and almost decayed skin. Fitted perfectly and you were now aware of why he always smelled so bad: The goul of its third decay gives off a rotten smell thay can only getten rid off with a bath of red tomato essence.  
Well no chance that he ever took a bath. End of the chapter and next book. You hopped up and searched for a bigger one. Go big or go home...or in a motel? It took you a while to decide for one but finally saw one of interest. “Demons”.  
Simplistic and catchy. You liked it.  
As you read trough some chapters titled “crossroad demons” and “identification” you realized that just knowledge wasnt getting you anywere here. If you would ever encounter another one of those you had to have some kind of technique to knock them out even though your last time went better than expected. You closed the book to let your eyes relax for a little while. It got even darker and the fire slowly burned down. You scooted closer to it and sat so close you could feel the warmth spreading over your face. You would have wanted to stay alone for a while but heard two people coming closer and rushing by the library in a fast pace. Sams long legs only needed two steps to reach the bookshelf i took mine from. He didnt even seem to notice you on the floor and with a little collection he set off again. You followed him in a panic and crashed into Castiel who just turned around the corner with flapping trenchcoat.

_Castiel whats going on with them are you ok?_

_A contact of them just got a lead on a group of Demons wich sell the blood of Jack..._

_Where did they get it from_... you were glad he already vanished around the next corner before he could have heard your stupid question. Assuredly you knew where they had it from. The barn. The demons. And Jack who sat on the side, chained up and on lockdown with this ridiculous huge needle in his arm, sucking his bloodstream empty like...like.. vampires probably. You saw some books about them standing on a shelf beside the skinwalkers and other various creatures.  
You turned around on your heels and ran with the blanket as your flapping cape to the big hall, not getting lost for more than two times wich you were proud of.

You came just in time to hear the engine of a car start and the flapping of angel wings.

You turned around to Gabriel and Jack who both sipped on a cup of hot chocolate.

_Want one too?_

_Of course and topped up with some explanation please!?_

_No worries, moose, squirrel and cassie are on a run to find some of Jacks best parts._ He giggled at his own joke and Jack looked like he did something wrong.

 

 

 _Well why do they need his blood in the first place. Of course he is a nephilim and the one of Lucifer._..He twiched at those words and you made a remark in your head not to call him that again _... so his blood must me the holy grail of ingredients._

_Ding ding ding. Imagine a multiversal key to unlock some of the mightiest spells and now think of how you could buy that from the next group of demons for some suitscases full of worldly paper strips._

_Some suitcases?  
I think i have to sit down._

_You better do, ya look like a ghost. So watcha want as a topping. Marshmallows, sprinkles , a shot of vodka?_

Jack answered when you stared silent at the ceiling.. _.i think she wants a tea...she wants rasberry...with honey._

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Recommendations:
> 
> Ava - Famy
> 
> Jerry Folk - to my soul ->so fucking good

 You hadnt had contact with the Winchesters or Castiel for a while, not that you minded though. Getting used to new people again, getting used to not being alone or getting used to talk to Jack about the basics or human beings even tough you never had anything near a normal life was all in all better when not having hunters around that reminded you of your past.  
It had been two weeks already so you got to know the bunker better and better. You didnt had to ask Gabriel were the kitchen was anymore and your sense of direction got stronger as you discovered more and more of the underground building. You sneaked around all corners and it was like a treasure hunt to find the most interesting room. You couldnt help it, all of this was so new but for the first time not scary or intimidating. For the first few days you discovered a workout room and another library, smaller than the one before but still with enough books to keep you occupied and not let any other thoughts go wild in your mind. Jack was getting considerate of how this personal and privacy thing was going on but now and then he still sneaked around in them so you did too. It was a good training for both of you anyway as well as the training setup. You trained stamina and strength to keep yourself safe and Jack tried to mediate while you punched some bags in the corner of the little gym. It was not even exausting but actually exiting to feel how your muscles were trained and your body needed less and less time to go from zero to a hundred. Finally you felt like you could join a hunt and do good on it, saves people and stuff, not sitting in the backseat of a car, waiting for hours.  
Though the training felt good, the showers after those sessions were the best thing in the world and you almosted melted under the hot water stream every time, genuinly enyoing how you felt clean for more than just a few hours. In the next week you went to the cellar when you searched for more water although you knew there were always bad things down there and were right. A long lane for shooting and behind some shelfs in what looked like a storage room there were a chalk drawing on the floor with a metal chair in the middle and some chains..pretty heavy ones although you got stronger. You grew interest in the sign wich was almost faded into nothingness and tried to find it in some books. It took you a while but after some books about different kinds of demons you discovered how to trap them. It was actually pretty easy and you trained on a few empty papers how to do the easiest ones. On the next day you even found an empty notebook with a beautiful leather binding where you kept practicing more dificult ones and noted the affiliated traits and wich demons you could catch with them. Crossroad demons, normal, and many others like weather demons and even knights of hell. After you were done with the now „catching“ titled chapter you began the next one: „ identification“ as well as „healing spells and potions“ when you realized how some of them are more like hunters themselves. They catch their prey by possession and use them for a long while as host to feed on their soul. As they progress this feast they pump poison in their host to keep them alive but as soon as they leave drop dead when not treated with the right aid. It was terrifyingly interesting how many different species of them evoled over thousands of years since the basic beginnings of hell. After the third day of research on the same dark thematics you backed up from them and turned to a more bright topic. Angels. You loved to see the ancient drawings of wings and how soft they looked even on paper, although you wondered where they got to see them. You searched around for Gabriel after you saw an actual drawing of his in a rather small gremouar. You finally found him lurking in the kitchen when it started to smell like burned caramel and the fire alarms got triggered. You ran around but in a split second it was switched off again.

_Hey Gabriel what you‘ve been making in here? Fire?_

_Well i found that recipe on the internet and it said to put five cups of sugar in the oven at 300 celcius for about an hour..still didnt work on the third try..._

_Dont believe everything on the internet, thats like rule number one. I mean all those books and not one of how to teach angels stuff about the real world as well as how to live in the 21th century_. Noted that this would be your next book and with an extra inscription for Jack you continued with the questions as Gabriel tried the next recipe for candy canes.

_Hey you have wings right...like stored in your back?_

_No they are just not visible for the human eyes. But they are much more bigger than those drawings you’ve been looking at._

_What you could see those...from my mind?_

_No just me being a extraterrestrial being, or as i like to call myself: a unicorn._

_So you can watch actually watch over us like a guardian angel?_

_I was made for that by daddy you remember? The bible even quoted me on some part and if i would have known i would‘ve said something better like: dude, he just made a little god with maria right in front of your eyes and is still a virgin, you NEED to ask some questions!_

_Yea not that i ever read this one fully but i probably should now._

_Spoiler: Jesus died and is now an asshole in heaven..._

_Oh...right....heaven actually exist as well... nahh im going to hell anyway, there is a special place just for me...the throne._

Jack entered, probably attracted from the now delicious smell of mint and cinnamon.

_Hey Jack what have you been up to?_

_I downloaded new music but Sam called._  
You looked up, interested if they were still alright...  
_They still got the lead on the group of demons but dont want to interrupt their „business“ just yet, maybe they find the head of the network._

_Great idea.. why not run into the office and knock on his door like hey, ya got that blood we‘ve been searching for???_

Gabriel sarcasms was far superior and Jack answered confused with his lacking knowledge of..well.. human behaviors...he probably wasnt out in the world often.

 _No that would be a terrible plan they can get killed like that and they wont just give it to them._ He looked concerned about Gabriels plan and you giggled.

_It wouldnt be the first time, one more or less doesnt hurt._

You almost choked on the piece of candy cane you stole from the cooling tray.

 _Whoa there tell me more about that. Are they humans or not like???_  
You questioned them with some silent stares but after a while Gabriel told you about their pervious experience with death and reapers and believe me they had a lot. You werent even surpised that there were multiple little deaths walking around the world at all times to lead us into our cozy afterlives. You realized even if you felt the worst on some of your darkest days, at least one more person on this god dammed earth had it worse so you werent going to complain about it anymore.

_Ok im finished with my daily dose of diabetes and am on a sugar rush right now. Jack what do you think, you want to train with me a little bit and take on a fight?_

Jack shoved some of the crushed canes in his mouth but stood up and nodded.

_Of course i want to!_

We both changed in gym clothes that Gabriel had from who knows where and went onto the middle of the training room wich was plastered with soft matts. You put on some music wich you both enjoyed and already started to circle around each other.  
 ** _Free training Jack. All attacks allowed exept magic. Got it?_**  
No answer but you knew he heard you.  
He started first wich was unsual but you were prepared for it. He tried to pull your legs away and you drew back quickly. No chance. He still catched them on the ankles and broke your balance. You landed harsh on the back but were on your knees before he got to you. You positioned yourself on the side and pushed his leg away, now having his neck between your knees and squeezing it tighter as you wrestled his arm into a stretch. Two knocks. He gave up. Finished. Next round.  
We stayed on our knees and you saw in the little mirror on the side how Gabriel stood in the hallway, watching.  
Not a good move on your side because Jack pushed you to your back before you could catch your body. You rolled over your shoulder and gripped his arm as well as his elbow thight to break his balance. However he was steady and knew your moves when he sneaked under your torso and lifted you up onto his shoulders. You tried to get back down somehow but had no grip onto anything until his shirt got caught in your waving arms. You drew it closer and luckily he set you free, rolling down his back and on your chest. You didnt even fight anymore at this point when you felt his weight on your shoulders. He had you in lock down unable to move a muscle with your legs secured under his right knee as well as your arms und his left. You knocked twice and the heavy feeling faded. As you still lied there for a second you heard Gabriel clapping from the hallway.

Y _ou guys really did train all that after a few days only? Im impressed. I only know how to wave around with my little angel knife.._.

He drew a silver knife from his sleeve and you remembered the shine of the sleek metal. It looked like that thing you nailed down the demon in the barn with and you just now realized how Gabriel wasnt there.

_When I met Jack in the barn and Castiel was wounded..where you here all the time?_

_Pretty much. Some jackass demon wanted revenge on my brother luci, then feeded on my soul, sewed my mouth shut because i talked to much and kept me as his „dog“. Even my sweetest puppy eyes could make him set me free wich means he was a real crazy guy._

_He was? At least ...i mean i would have been the next in line to take him down._

_Nah lucifer was first. But dont worry he didnt do it for nothing he needed me to get his precious little boy back. Im not even mad though, he is the best and i would have done the same._ He smiled so warm you almost saw the sun shining. No sign of anger on his face wich you were grateful for, feeling how Jack got more tense throughout the story like it was his fault. Wich it was obviously not.

You stretched your arms and reached for Jacks to pull him up. He lifted you from the ground and you shut off the music wich still mumbled around on repeat in the background.

_Hey, mind if we test out Jacks abilities again?  
What do you think Y/N? It seems like it helps him when you do it.._

You were honestly not looking foward to do it again. In the last weeks you were able to keep your bad memories at bay and lock them up in a backroom of your mind. You didnt want Jack to see them, not because you didnt trust him, just as to rebuild a better view on live for him than you had. Still from time to time you couldnt even help it not to project this anxious feeling onto Jack and everytime that happened the books flew across the room or drawers flew open. He always immediately felt your distress and put his calm sensations onto you. It helped but didnt healed the trigger of those breakdowns you were so disgusted by. You were here for this reason only and not going to let Jack down, so you locked it up. You put on you favorite playlist again and turned around to face Gabriel.

_Ok, lets do it. Nothing can go wrong anyway and if it does, we have you as a backup, right?_

_No, Nothing to worry about kiddo, i will watch you at all times._

You sighed and let yourself down, back to back with Jack.  
 ** _You ready?_**

**_  
Are you ok with this ? We dont have to i can try alone!_ **

**_  
No no its easier for you this way and its what im actually here for. So start if you want to, my mind is all yours._**  
You let go again and felt like floating, only letting the good thoughts back for Jack to skip through a bit. When you both opened the eyes nothing stood in your way. Not the heavy weights nor the treadmill stood still and they flew around the room like feathers in the wind. Gabriel stood amazed by the side and tipped on some of the weights, making them spin around like little planets. You tried to hold it for a while but the roaming of thunder let me snap back and all of the stuff landed harsh on the ground following with loud noises.

_Sorry guys sorry... the thunder just startled me there for a second..._

_No Y/N it was all good and pretty interesting to look at. You both seem so peaceful when doing this._

_Its a good exercise for me Gabriel. But i get so tired from it..._

_Yes of course it does. Cool things never get achieved without an effort Jacki..._

You both went silent for a moment and listened to the approaching rumbling of a storm.

 _I did that_ ...he looked guilty.

_What Jack no thats the weather you cant manipulate that! Right... right Gabriel??_

_Of course he can, i could too_..he drew a pout... _im just not on top of my game right now. I just need..._

 _A hot chocolate? Same. I will meet you in the hall with them but let Jack get the fire going, hes still setting random things on fire intead of the wood, and needs the training_..you commented, remembering the second day alone in the bunker. He set a probably rare and antique mask on fire when he freaking sneezed. You both just stood there until you knocked it down the shelf it was standing on and treaded on it in a hurry when you paniked. In order to not let this accident happen again you watched the stove closely until the milk boiled and poured it into three cups. After you sprinkled on two of them marshmallows, enough to satisfy one and a half angels, you put them on a small tray and went along the corridor to the big hall where Jack and Gabriel sat by the fire waiting for you with a ridiculous amount of blankets you saw falling down out of the air in the second you came around corner. They knew you so well by now.  
Nonetheless, they looked like normal people, almost like father and son and not at all like a mighty guardian angel and the „spawn of Satan“. But you learned how not everything looks like it is.  
You scooted closer in between them and layed your head back on the couch to watch the heavy raindrops go down on the seethrough glass ceiling.

_You guys ever get tired of watching the rain fall?_

_Not once, and its even more beautiful to look at it from earth. Its so consistent but powerful... i always admired it even when i sat around in heaven. And nothing changed. From the first few drops of clouds going down on the young earth until now._

_No need to show off.._.. you let your head fall to the side when you laughed at his comment.  
Those nights were the ones you cherished, you never experienced before but once you got the hang of them, every night you wanted to carry on like this. You would ask Gabriel ridicioulous questions about all kinds of stuff and Jack would ask you ridicioulous questions about human lifes and behaviours. You told him about all kinds of stuff and you saw his eyes sparkled everytime he heard something of interest. He espacially grew interest in music and playing it yourself but also films and series seemed to be one of his hobbies, especially cartoons. Most of the times Gabriel one upped us, drawing a guitarre out of nowhere or suddenly playing an invisible piano but it was mesmerizing when you didnt have to be scared of magic. No magic began to be for both you and Jack something powerful but soothing. Something you could create stuff with rather than destroying it. You felt like architects from time to time, building book castles with a wink of an arm and getting used to the feeling with being bound to this endless source of energy that radiated from him. Only once you felt like he learned so quickly you would be gone after those two weeks but then again he let thundersstorms like this go down within seconds and they would last days, just because he got frustrated at a cliffhanger wich on the other hand was partly your fault because he wanted to watch movies all the time and you liked seeing him getting in touch of his human side through everyday stuff. And you let him get upset, because human beings also did that, it is normal. You just not let it escalate and let it go on like Lucifers outburst wich still lasted. But who where you, as he said, to tell Lucifer himself about what he should do or not do.  
Even though you didnt let him bother you or Jack, Gabriel seemed to pace back and forth in front of his room, just waiting to attack him when he stepped outside. And everytime you catched him doing that the only chance to get him off those raging thoughts were again nights like this. And so we kept us all occupied somehow with them and for a few hours we shared endless stories.  
And you would have said you were lucky and that this was the right decision after all, but faith played you the second it felt like home, the second you felt safe and like you‘ve found a place where you seem to belong. Then, faith decided to let you hear a flapping of wings..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you came this far gimme some feeeeedback


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically we are about to fuck shit up :))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Recommendations:
> 
> Whatever it takes - Imagine Dragons  
> Or  
> No twerk - Apashe

None of us knew what to do when the panicked angel teleported itself right next to us, only feets away and was gone a second after that with flapping coat behind him. In the split second you saw his face the only thing visible on it was deep concern. You jumped up as the first person and let the other two behind, still sitting startled on the couch.

_CASTIEL....castiel where are you going! Are you ok? Are the others hurt?_

You ran after him in a sprint but he was gone when you ran around the next corner only leaving the sound of wings. You spun around to give yourself a better chance, however no one was there, so you had to do it the hard way. You listened closely to hear rumbling in the distance. It sounded like books being thrown around the room on the left.  
He was in the small library, opposite from your room. You spun around and headed in the other direction as fast as possible. When you entered the library with a jump up the three small stairs you finally saw Castiel carelessly throwing books around the room.

_HEY! Castiel those books are important! What are you doing???_

You tried to pick up some in order to keep them secure from this tornado but got hit by a one of them at the head and you fell down on your knees because your vision starred to blur a bit. You were glad that Jack catched you before going down completely and you shook your head.

 _Hey Jack_... your voice was silent and a bit far away...

_Castiel what are you doing you hit her!_

You heard a flapping of wings again and he was gone, now rambling through the next bookshelfs in the second library.

_Do you know whats going on?_

_No Y/N not at all he didnt tell me anything but i think Gabriel just got a call from Dean. I however didnt even know he would come home.._.

He helped you back on your feet as you tried to clear up your mind and find him there.  
 ** _Castiel listen to me what are you doing. I can help you with this just tell me what you are looking for._**

**_  
A book...._ **

**_  
No way man..._**  
You were sick of his short answers and how he teleported back and forth right in front of your eyes. It confused you somehow.  
 ** _CASTIEL STOP._**  
He materialized out of nothingness one last time and stood in the back of the room rushing towards you with anger all around him, almost palpable. It was this storm in him like the one outside of this huge safe and there was only one way to keep the control over this situation from now on. When he tried to take the last step towards you, you approached him with one fast movement and left just an inch between the both of you to stare him right in the eyes. You had him where you wanted him.

_Jack here is worried about the Winchesters and you wich means so am i. So tell me what you are searching for and i will help you. The fasters its over the better._

_A potions to trap a demon of third generation from the west end...._

You interrupted right there...  
_Got it..._  
You turned on your tip toes and went off into a sprint together with Castiel right behind you as we left Jack back in the library.  
Right across you opened the door, basically crashing it down, and opened the shelf of the ancient working table, destroying the lock in the process. No key needed. You grabbed the book youve finished by now and opened it midstand. You quickly skipped through the pages to the different kinds of potions and read the main ingredients.

 _Follow me._ You slammed the book shut and went down to the storage room, not acknowledging Castiel anymore and totally focused on your task. You were in high speed mode as you skipped through the different name tags and bottles filled with various ingredients for who knows what. You spotted Dragon flies, sharktooths (didnt want to know how they got those), hairs of a hellhound and loose gunpowder.

_That should do it, bring me to them and i will mix it there._

_No, give me the books and ingredients or youre gonna put yourself in danger._

_We dont have time for that and you know it. Jack and Lucifer will stay with Gabriel and you teleport my ass to where you need me. Lets go._

_No Y/N this isnt for you, Jack needs you here...._

_First of all: Jack needs me where i can safe him or his family and i know him too damn well by now so i feel how important the three of you are to him, second of all: this is my book and you can try to rip it from me, and third of all: you need me to mix it, because in a time span of 10 seconds after that the potion is useless._

You knew how to discuss as well as how to win with perfect arguments. He knew you were right and damn serious. He had no chance and let the harsh grip on your arm go so you felt the blood rushing back to your hand and you sighed in relieve.

 _Fine. But i have to transport you with me wich could cause side effects if done for the first time._.. he looked back at you with a concerned face like that fact would have you reconsider you opinion and i felt his focus go behind me, probably to Jack and Gabriel wich approched. Hell no they wouldnt get into this.  
He sighed when he gave up to change your stubbornness, not wanting to let Jack get involved either.

 _Are you ready_?  
You braced yourself for some kind of impact..  
_I was born ready.._.  
He lifted his hand and touched your forehead with two fingers.

It wasnt even a bright light of some sort, just the mortifying feeling of being transported for hundreds of kilometers in under a millisecond. Your vision stayed clear and you saw your surroundings just as real as the door you were facing right before this crap. Just now, when you realized your body hadnt changed, you noticed how in the two weeks that passed, Jacks thoughts and feelings had become a big part of your mind and now, when he was gone, the part where he was at home was left empty and blank. You gasped heavily when your body realized how your mind wasnt in control of itself and it reached after everything it could possibly find to get the steady feeling back: Air, Castiel,who stood beside you, but also the place you were in, wich now was worth a try to get your eyes moving.  
 ** _Ok focus again, you are ok_**.  
The wall looked familiar, but as in bad familiar.  
 ** _Ok...not ok_**.  
Even though your mind almost shattered at the overflow of different sensations it recieved from your body you managed to skip through your memories to look for the word you were searching for.  
 ** _Hotel...it was a hotel. Thats what these are called._**  
Now that you had got that straight you turned back around to Castiel and looked at him for more instructions, not capable of making up your own.

_I will get you there, hold on..._

Said, done. You kept the grip on his trenchcoat and got dragged behind him to the door, through the corridor and right in the opposite hotelroom.  
You let go when you saw a bed and let the little containers rolled all over it wich you had been holding onto with the energy left in your other arm. You drew the book from your pocket and skipped through the pages again. When you found the right one, you zoned out and concentrated on the right measurements. Not on Castiel, pacing back and forth, not on the two hunters, bursting through the door...

_Dean!_

_Cas you got the... CAS what is she doing here and where is Gabriel.._

_She said she had to mix it together, its ok i will watch out for her. Where is the Demon currently?_

This time Sam answered....  
_Down the hall, we managed to get him trapped in the lobby, he lost us i think..._

 _He lost your scent. Demons of this kind were once spliced with the animal characteristics of hellhounds, with that, earning their tracking ability._.. you muttered it between breaths but they heard you. All of them stood still and stared at you, not that you cared now.  
You were almost finished and jumped up the bed, holding up a small glass with various layers of powders.

 _He is down the hall? Great, knife please._  
You raised your arm expectingly and Sam gave you the knife he was holding. You grabbed the door handle and twisted it slowly but before completly fullfilling that task you felt a harsh grip of Deans hand on your arm.

 _Get your ass back on the bed you are not going out there, you hear me_.

We dont had time for that you felt it in the panik of their expressions, not even time to argue and when this week long hunt would only end if you would catch this fucking demon and bring them back home to Jack where he needed them, you would do it.  
You never felt this tremendous kind of strength and straightened your back. The only thing you knew after years of being with your uncle was, that you would never let somebody ever touch you like this again. You hissed at him whole heartedly.  
_Let.me.go._  
The anger on his face faded into raised eyebrows with a suprised look and even you were impressed by yourself. You never sounded like this before.  
_Show me where he is or stay here._

 _Y/N just give me the potion and i will do it..._ Sam tried to calm the situation wich was basically impossible.  
_I doubt it would work. It has to be my blood_.... your answer to his questioning look followed faster than you intended... _breeded out of a barren body, just the blood of a infertile can trap it. Argument over._  
You twisted the door handle all the way and stepped out, not silent at all, hearing the growl as an immediate response to your rash action. You ran down the hall with two hunters and an angel behind you. With you on the head of the group storming down like you only had this one mission in your entire existence. Not the best moral reason but you actually just wanted revenge from the barn demons.  
You were a strong group nevertheless so you pushed the door to the entrance hall open. The growl got louder and was the only thing you could hear in the dark, unlit hall by now. Just the shine of the streetlamps wich came through the elegant but broken glass wall made you see your opponent.  
Again, a silent growl came from a creature wich stood cramped at the entrance, blocking the way, his eyes black and half of his face immersed with blood wich dripped down onto the floor.  
You werent down for a fight so you let the knife run through your hand, cutting it in the process. As soon as he scented the blood from you he began going into full sprint, however you were faster. You pressed your palm against the opening of the little bottle and filling it quickly. He was almost here, not enough time to close the bottle and Sam and Dean were next to you, ready to attack him. No need for that and not your aim to let them. You felt the bottle getting hot like boiling water in milliseconds, burning your hand immediately.  
Feeling your arm dislocating when you threw the bottle right in front of his bare feet with immense impact he didnt had a chance to back up. The seal formed faster than imagined and the last thing you heard from him was the snapping of his neck when it crashed full speed into the barrier.

 _Oh FUCK_.....various curse words followed when you felt the pain from your shoulder, not caring about the demon, as you were pretty certain it worked.  
You held the arm thight to your body when you saw Sam, trying to move it.  
_No no i dont think thats..._  
Another rush of pain shut your mouth.

_Its ok, its ok, you got him knocked out pretty good if i may say so._

_Th..thanks man_. You werent even able to fully sarcasm your way out of the compliment. But you were glad that Sam held you steady while Dean and Castiel handcuffed his arms wich layed limp on each side of the thing in a unnatural position just like his head.

 _I hope these are magical handcuffs because im not sure he will be a happy camper if he wakes up_... your face warped into a painful expression when Sam tried to move you onto a seat.

 _Dont care for him anymore, you got him damn good._... he turned around and watched them head to the car.

 _I hope we didnt wake the others up, not that we were silent_. You laughed through the pain wich was the only thing currently keeping you on the edge of conciousness.

 _Was abandoned anyway_...Sam answered as he lifted you onto a couch and examined your arm.... _wich means let it all out._

_Let what all out?_

And there. He just snapped your arm right back. He didnt even ask or something nooooOOO....  
You didnt scream in shock because your brain could barely comprehend the situation so your body just punched the wodden frame. Good idea. Well done.  
You heard some knuckles crack wich earned you another flash of pain and you were done. Not even the flapping of wings could suprise you now nor Dean running towards you.  
_Sammy!_

_All good Dean all good. I just snapped her arm back._

_You just snapped my arm back...you just..just..._..you let out the last bit of air.  
_No he is right im all good_....you fell back and stared up at the ceiling.  
_Is he at least all locked up?_

Dean let out a sigh as well as Castiel...  
_Yes. All safe. Lets head back to the motel and pick up our stuff, then go home. Cas what do you think?_

He said something after that but you cared so less you didnt listen.  
Castiel approached you and bend down, speaking silent, in order not to stress you and you thanked him silent for that.  
 ** _Youre stitched ripped open y/n._**

**_  
Oh really? Didnt noticed that, was a bit in a hurry ya know._ **

**_  
Great that your humor survived but we have to heal you, i just cant do it._ **

**_  
Tell me honestly, you just dont want to._**  
You played with him, testing if his understanding of sarcasm was better than Jacks.  
 **** _No i would never want that.... do you mind if i transport you back to their hotel room and we will search for someone to heal you?_

 ** _  
Do whatever you like. I dont fucking care anymore._**  
You felt the light tapping of his two fingers at your forehead and just after that you stared at another ceiling. At least the tense aura of moose and squirrel was gone.  
You managed to look around the now enlightened room. Behind Castiel you spotted a kitchen and a door to the bathroom. You were familiar enough with such rooms and knew there was 50:50 chance that it had a shower installed.  
_Hey Castiel can you..._  
he already lifted your back and you stumbled across the room, now able to see the head of a shower. You stood still for a second, suddenly forgetting what you were willing to do.

_You can take a shower. It will take a while for Sam and Dean to get here._

_So they wont mind huh? Cus that can maybe extent to a long one...._

_It will be fine. If you need anything i will wait here._

_Thanks..._ was the last word that came out of your mouth right before you took the final few steps, wich parted you from your release of the sticky, blood soaked clothing.

The armor of a hunter and you never seem to grow out of it.

You closed the door behind youself and stripped the blood soaked clothes off after you locked it. It was worth another try, now hoping that actually nobody would come in without asking. You couldnt take that in this moment. Every good memory of the last few weeks was now gone with the trapped feeling, washing over you. Trapped in this body. And now they knew. What was even worse: They had time to talk about it on the ride to the hotel. The worst part of your brain took the better of you. Overthinking.  
 ** _Did they hear it? Will they ask? Do they care? Should i care? I never did but....i did. Somehow i always cared and i goddamn knew myself too well to pretend otherwise._**  
You looked yourself in the eyes in the small mirror. You were being pathetic like you were with your uncle. And you would have slapped yourself right there and then again if your shoulder wouldnt hurt that much and your other hand was bleeding. You hopped under the shower in order not to keep on standing in the middle of the room for half an hour. You turned it right to the hottest setting and burned yourself down, hissing at your own action. You couldnt say it felt good but it stopped the blood flow from your hand and chest. You brushed over the mark with your fingertips, still realizing how sensitive the skin was. You shut the water off and slowly washed yourself with the tiny bottles of shampoo wich stood on the side. Not your best idea because it stung like hell in the wounds but on the other hand: it couldn’t even get worse. You washed it off with a cold shower just to give the headache you felt starting a delay before it would hit in. Not having your hair washed you stepped out of the shower and lazily dried it. Even though this wasnt a shower like you used to do it, everything always seemed better after those. Not that you looked like it but the feeling was enough.  
You noticed how some sleeping clothes layed neatly folded next to the sink. What a subtle hint for you to step out here not naked again but also rest soon. However, you couldnt even complain for the orders you were getting. The shirt was oversized and so soft like it was made out of feathers and long enough to cover your knees in it, functioning now as a dress. You would keep this one for sure, just if one time a blanket wasnt in sight.

Glad that you were wrong when you stepped out, you noticed the couch having some pillows and a quilt.

_No need for that, you can take the bed._

_Wow hey not now Castiel. Please i just need some sleep and cant do it with someone rambling around in here..._  
You tapped on your head.

_You dont have to call me Castiel._

_I want to tho. Try to change it_.

He cocked his head to the side. Either he was thinking of how to make that happen or why you were so obviously sounding pissed off. Both ways he was occupied not going through your thoughts anymore and you let yourself fall onto the couch. He still looked at you like he was trying to say something.  
You rolled my eyes, immediately regretting it. You didnt like that side on yourself right now. You locked everything away and up wich helped nobody at all and you didnt want to bother anyone actually.

_Im sorry... Cas. Thank you for the clothing._

He looked brighter and his voice lifted.

_Pleasure. Do you want to sleep on the bed now? I called Sam and he told me we would go when they arrive so it is free for you to take a rest, it would do your body well._

_You got me with that._.. you tried not to think of how to get up later when waking up. You just cared about the soft pillows wich welcomed you when falling on the bed. They were actually cleaner like anytime you had been in a hotel with this bastard of a man. You called him what he was.  
You felt Cas hands on yours and opened one eyes a bit to see what he was doing. He bandaged your hands. Even though your were so rude. You didnt know how to handle this in your the current state of almost being in a deep sleep and just mumbled some barely audible words of thank you and him being an angel....

You wondered how you suddleny felt two hands around yourself and in a light motion when it felt like you just blinked for a second. It was dark and cold but as soon as the hands were gone it got warm again. What a strange situation. You tried to connect the sensations of your body but just couldnt imagine any possibility how those could fit together in a scenario. The next hint was a rumbling like it was far away in the distance but in the same time right to the left of you. It was a car. Someone carried you in the car.  
 ** _Wait no thats not correct._**  
You sat up straight and slowly rolled your eyes around in slow motion, looking right through the front window. You felt the two hands around you again.

 _Hey Y/N._ The voice was silent like it didnt want to wake you but you recognized it as Sams.  
_Hey Sam._.. you blinked slowly and it felt like there were weights or glue on your eyelids.  
_How is Dean? Is he ok, i dont hear him?_  
You were mumbling but he seemed to have heard you and the voice came right from your left, silent as well.  
_Hey kid. Keep sleeping im right here._

The hands gripped you thighter and it was like they were rocking you back and forth to loosen your posture. And it worked...  
 ** _goddamit i behave like a baby._**  
You fell back as they scooted you closer to a warm body. You opened your eyes for a little bit and saw..... _Cas hey. You here? Why dont you just zap yourself to wherever we are going? It would be so much faster believe me.. **.** **. i spoke wise words...**_

_I believe you, but i like staying in the car and i wanted to keep an eye on you. Your soul is overused and strained._

Your mind got stuck on the weird words he spoke. _.What you have like the other one closed? It this an angel thing?_... you heard chuckling from the first row.

 

_Yea Cas tell us._

_shhh she lost a lot of energy. Turn up the music maybe that will help._

_Hey thats not fair, maybe i dont want to sleep.._

_You want to believe me now_... he closed your eyes shut and had you where he wanted. Your mind was blank and not rambling through memories like it always did. Not thinking your past or your future, nor the pain or what the others thought you body slowly turned off. You just relaxed and the floaty feeling you always admired came back to you naturally.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short meet up with a special witch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Recommendations:
> 
> The 1975 - please be naked

 

 ** _I was DONE with this. No relaxing anymore, this was crap. I was here for Jack....no wait i was here for the Winchesters. No no wait... i was there for them, but now i was somewhere else....Then they took me somewhere else and it was....what was the word._**  
Your body started to tremble when you tried to move.  
 ** _Oh yea right, cold, it was called being freakin frozen._**

_No Darling. Thats not the right time to dance, in the midst of a spell its rather dangerous. Stay still for me a little longer._

You really wanted to scream and felt your lips moving but just dull whimpering escaped your mouth.

**_Please i need you to calm down._ **

**_  
Castiel oh man you are here. Where the hell is here, where am i, who is she..._ **

**_  
I repeat calm down._ **

**_  
I am trying but sorry if im just tired of being knocked out half the time im with you guys. So at least tell me something!_**  
He stayed silent and you would have totally lost your patience in the next three second, however he surcome himself and finally told you everything you wanted to know, wich didnt mean it calmed you....

**_Have in mind that this is necessary first of all. I am an angel and we can heal humans but not you. It is not because you are not one, but because your soul is built after different patter since you were born. This makes it possible for you to communicate with other species as well as supernatural ones and even go further as we acknowledged with Jack, however it is also the reason why i cant heal you. This is why you are currently with someone who may be able to do it. She may not be a friend of us but helped us with multiple scenarios and owes the Winchesters a lot._ **

**_Who is she?...Your question sounded hollow in your own mind._ **

**_A witch called Rowena._ **

**_She is a WHAT_ **

**_Y/N your heartrate is rising quickly please cal..._ **

**_she is A_** _WHAT_  
 _SHE IS A WITCH!_  
WITCH....  
Your eyes opened abruptly and your head snapped upwards. You wanted to jump up and into a fighting position, but your hands and arms were restrained. Your heart pumped the blood so harsh you heard it rushing in your ears and it fogging your brain, now unable to listen to Castiel. The panikattack took the better of you when you saw yourself not only laying naked on bed of a hotel room but also covered in a blue substance. You screamed, not knowing what else to do as your body battled the chaines wich kept you in lock down. The woman on the other end of the room didnt even seem to be affected by your fighting the tiniest bit.

_LET ME GO, I SWEAR TO GOD, GET ME OUT OF THIS_

You wanted to sound strong or angry so bad but the panic resonated with your shouting clear like a bell.

_Honey it will be ok soon, no worries._

_WHAT? NO, PLEASE JUST LET ME... LET ME LEAVE I NEED TO GET BACK._

_I heard that, but you wouldnt have made it back to the bunker with the wounds you had, so take in some deep breathes and let me do my work._

With a sweet smile she waved a burning piece of wood in front of your face, so close you couldnt help but take deep breaths of the smoke wich emerged from it. You twitched two last times, your head falling back and your body down, unable to move.

_That will do. Its just for relaxation and you will feel even better when you let me do the spell now._

You didnt had the urge to fight against it anymore. Your body was loose and sunk into the bed feeling like butter on a hot summer day.

_What did you gave me._

_This?_ She held up the bundled sticks.  
_Well the Winchesters told me you wouldnt be happy about random people so i took precautions when i had to undress you. But believe me, this is all just to reach the wounds better, wich apparently you have plenty of for a younger hunter.  
Again no worries, this will get rid of it....._

_How long..will this...it_

_The serum should soak in in some moments and close the wounds. Believe me thats all im here for._

_I am not one believing easily._

_Oh same darling, i dont do this spell often but i had to believe in myself to achieve this golden age._

_Now that we have grown so familiar can you let me go? Maybe?_

_The restrains are for your and a little bit for my safety, however you should stay calm after my little trick worked so well, so why not?_

Even after she losened all the bonds you remained, to your own suprise, calm. What was your other option. Scream for help with your silent voice wich wasnt even able to reach to the next room. Our jump and fight her? No you made your experience wich was the reason for the panikattack...

 ** _I saw the flames wich went up the wall and heard the screams over and over again. The witch in the middle of the room still screamed a spell i didnt understand and the man tried to shut her mouth. One stabbed her and another raised his shotgun as her, pointing it at her temple and pulling the trigger. Although the attempt killed the witch and shut her up, the consequences left a trail of destruction and the room was about to completely burn down. But i wasnt the only one who realized that. The other hunters tried to storm out of the room all at once but it was locked wich meant so was i. My last escape, my last chance was the metal cage at the side of the barn, so small it just about fit me. I blended the screams out, the man wich lied on the floor flaming and the smell of burning flesh_** ...  
but all of those sensations came running back to you when the woman told you what she was. She wasnt the danger, she was the trigger.

_I am sorry darling._

_You listened.._

_You let me in._

_Well you didnt had to go in._

_It was just... i recognized the witch. I knew the young girl and met her before. She was truly remarkable from birth to death as i saw, but i know how professionals like me dont stay long in the business._  
Grief fulfilled her words, sadness her mind but you caught a glimps of honesty through the sarcasm.

_She survived their torture for a long time and resisted to tell anyone of them the locations of her sisters, even after the worst methods. I admired her._

She stayed silent, knowing what you meant and feeling the same way but youo also felt her locking something inside of her. She stood up and opened a closet, pulling out a white robe after searching for a bit.

 _Its time_. She turned around expectant and looked you up and down.

You looked down and there was no trace of the blue serum left. But that wasnt the only thing wich was gone. The handmarks as well as the bloody seams were gone. You raised your palms and looked at them closely, trying to find some sort of wound, wich you were pretty sure should have been there.

_Yes as you can see i fixed you up a little bit but wasnt able to heal everything..._

_Are you kidding that is pretty much the most awesome thing i ...well i didnt saw it but you pretty much did it._  
You lifted yourself up and hopped on your knees, pacing through the room and wandering to the mirror, trying to observe how the rest of you were looking. As soon as you reached it you turned around again.

_Riiiiight i am naked. oh god.... I need that._

_There you go, all for you_. She lifted the robe up and you slipped into it, immediately closing it.  
You felt one side pulling down so you reached into the pocket. Before you could even feel the bundle, Rowena answered your silent question from behind you as she meanwhile started to brush through your hair.

 _Its just for when im not around. But try to stay safe, you are not like the Winchesters or any other human._  
He voice broke off at the end and she looked down to the ground then up to your hair again.  
_What i saw in your mind and what you experienced isnt easy and it wont get better either trust me...just a life tip if someone would ever ask me._  
She shook her head a bit.  
_Nonetheless life goes on and i hope you dont mind helping me to never meet the Winchesters again do ya?_

You promised her and winked, turning around to leave the room. As you opened the door and were about to close it you stopped in the motion.

 _Rowena_...she turned around again, already looking annoyed.  
_Whoever Crowley is, he loves you and you know it._  
She stood still in shock. Ah yes, your job was done here even though you had no idea of what you were doing, just repeating what you catched up from her thoughts before she locked them up.  
You paced down the rather elegant looking hallway and left her alone to wonder where you got that info from. You had to admit the training with Jack did helped both of you and now also for not getting killed by a witch when you were completly naked.  
Walking into a living room you saw the angel, neatly arranged on a white sofa, visibly uncomfortable. As soon as you walked in he stood up with a worried expression on his face. Did he ever smile?

_I cant go into your mind, are you alright?_

_You would have a big problem with me if i wouldnt be more than ever. I feel like i just had a renovation of some sort._

He cocked his head to the side.  
_No your body is still the same._

_Keep caution. I was in a good mood and ready to go back home, dont try to ruin this._

_I am sorry._

_No need to be... just bring me home. I want to see how Jack is._

_To calm you right away he is good._

_I have to see about that first. Beam me up scotty._  
When he didnt react you sighted, stepped closer and lifted his hand to your forehead, almost touching it.

 _Oh_... wich was the last thing you heard before you felt his light touch.

You couldnt even open your eyes, already hearing the sound of fast steps.  
 ** _Who is running around already?_**  
A second after you opened your eyes they immediately got covered up again by the body of a half angel. Your half angel.  
_Hey would you mind not letting me suffocate?_

He jumped back right away.  
_I was joking just joking. But now i atleast know you are still alright_. You laughed out loud for the first time in what felt like years and the rest of worry on your mind left when you felt Jack pulling you closer again.

 

 _Mind if i join in there?_  
We both turned around to see Gabriel standing in the doorframe of your room.  
_Do you know that Jack is like a bloodhound? He knew you were coming before i even sensed you._

 _Well i am not one to overlook that easy...._. You gave him a cocky smile like he always did.  
_Good point.._..He looked at both of you for a moment. _...Even though i dont want to take away your toy there Jacki, mr and mrs Winchester are waiting in the hall for you._

_Is there still time to get dressed propertly or should i just go naked?_

_Do it like you please it and then work it!_ He winked at you and dragged Jack along with him down the corridor.

Well you certainly enjoyed the robe because of its softness, but you also missed the flannels in all varieties. Said, done. You put on your favourite, throwing the robe on the bed in the process and headed down the hall, letting the experience pass by your mind for one more time.  
You saved the Winchesters and Castiels ass, managed to pull a spell successfully, learned to lock up your mind and got friends with a witch. Nothing could damage you now.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some say the life is made of hills and valleys...and valleys with trapdoors in them...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Recommendations:
> 
> Crossfire - Stephen  
> Later:  
> Calm Down - Krewella

The sight didnt shock you but it was honestly not one you had expected. The two Winchesters were covered from head to toe in blood splatters.

_Hey wow..i didnt leave you like that._

_Its not your fault..._ Jack tried to explain, already being by your side again.

_Well what did you do then? Did you accidently trip over some blood conserves of some sort?_

_Well first of all we are just as glad as Jack here that you are still alive. Believe me it wasnt easy to convince Rowena to help us, its been..difficult with her ya know._ Dean looked like he thought about multiple occasions.

 _I could tell. By the way. Its not like she wants to ever see you guys again. I dont know why._.. you raised your eyebrows at them, still not forgiving them on how they left you alone, naked, with a witch. It was just not the best way to get somenone to trust you.  
_So why did you wanted to see me again? Its not like i could help you with cleaning all of this._..you looked them up and down.

 _No we wanted to thank you for your help with the demon. It was certainly not easy to catch him and we have followed him for two weeks now. However he was the only one to lead us to Jacks blood with his contacts to other groups of dealers._ Sam sounded like Castiel for a moment but his eyes were in puppy mode, apologizing for everything with one look.

_So you found it?_

_No but he knows where we can find the head of the group. He seemed to have his seat in a certain club but we couldnt find him anywhere, nor get into one of the clubs._

You looked away from Sam and to Dean who now help up your ipod.  
_Thats where your part begins. We have to torture this bastard to get the infos out of him but his kind seems hard to break._..he stopped for a moment and watched you... _And you told us you had some other techniques on this little thing, maybe you could show us some?_

_**If i want to stay here i have to show them.** _

__**  
Huh?.**..Jack seem startled at my sudden contact.  
**They probably see no sense in me staying if i dont show them?**

_**  
No they are not like that, trust me.** _

_**  
I trust you Jack. I just dont trust myself if i can stay here anymore if i show them....** _

**  
Would you stay for me?**  
That was the big question. Was your will to stay and help him stronger than to leave him out of hurt after what they would see. But would you really leave your new won brother, because he felt like it. And would you really leave Castiel and Gabriel alone? No, you knew your answer before finishing the question you asked youself since the start of this insane adventure. You had to get through this, and it didnt matter to you how much of you was left after it.

 _I will show you, but one thing. He wont participate on our little film night_.  
Your voice sounded light but you were just trying to get through this without letting Jack into it.

_Deal._

_Hey no! I want to do this with you. You need me for this._

_No Jack i need you out of this._

_You heard her and youre what like 7 months old, wich isnt the age for horror films.._.atleast Dean was on your side for the first time.

 _Is this really neccessary?_... Sam on the other hand tried to calm the situation again like the sweet guy he is.

 _Well we can watch them, and then you can decide on wether or not he should see them_. Again you had won the argument and the Winchesters nodded in agreement.

 _I will bring the popcorn and beer_... Dean stood up but before he could leave to the kitchen you stopped him.

_I dare you.._

_What you dont like popcorn?_

_I do, but if you dont want to end up getting tortured as well, you better leave the beer in the fridge_... you sounded serious but not threatening so he just nodded silent and looked at Sam for help not yet understanding your reaction.

 _Ok, lets head to my room, my TV should be able to play the videos._.. and so he walked ahead together with Dean on his side, who you immediately heard discussing after they left your eyesight.

You turned around one last time, giving his hair a light ruffle through them, not looking him in the eyes, before you followed the brothers, not knowing how you would make it out of Sams room alive.  
As a reminder of how you were still not in the worst situation right now, you heard a bonechilling scream from the direction of the dungeon. However this fucker deserved to be tortured, so you headed in Sams room, with a thight grip around the small ipod, almost destroying it, wich you would have rather did.

 _Here_...you threw the little thing carelessly through the room, hoping to god that Sam couldnt catch it. Damn his hunter reflexes because he did. Now it wasnt in you hands anymore, literally.

 _Looks like my TV crashed_...you looked up... _but i think my laptop in the library should do it too_...and you looked down again. Maybe the laptop would fly off the table for some mysterious reason.  
You followed them slowly and took the three steps up to the library, sadly seeing how the screen lit up already, showing that it recognized the device. Glad that there were no more chairs around the small table you sat on the side of the room in your well know sofa wich soon would be destroyed by the following events as a last safe place.  
You heard some clicking and tapping and saw how they started watching, and you were gone, fading into your mind while letting your eyes rest on some random books which silver covers got reflected so beautifully from the fire.  
Only in the back of your head you heard a rough voice telling the videoband what date it was and what subject was chained to the chair in the middle of the room as well as the russeling of the subject. You knew what they saw now, you watched the video about a hundred times, trying to numb yourself down...not let it hurt you so much like it always did. And you still thought that this time would be rather easy on your mind, but it crashed you to pieces like never before, ripping you insides apart in the process, leaving a mushy but empty feeling where minutes before there settled a happyness and pride everytime you saw Jack. You were scared of how fast someone was able to take it from you.  
Next date, the same rough voice, the first terrified screams. It were screams where you knew what was about to come for them, still they sounded hopeful, like the cunning voice would free them. Your screams. That were actually the easiest days as you remembered. They tried various mythical torture devices, testing how they worked and writing down their function. You were suprised that they even knew how to write.  
Next date, the fun part came. The spells. One more burtal than the other, and you couldnt even chose a favourite. Maybe the one where you were locked in you mind for a month in full darkness and with nobody around, but where in reality just some seconds had passed, or the one were you live through multiple deaths at the same time like drowning, burning or getting stabbed so ofted you rapidly bled out and all of this just in your mind. And still at this point everytime you looked at yourself in the recordings you would have stand next to you in that moment and tell yourself how it was almost over. You would have shut your mouth letting no more beggings escape and restoring the last of your pride. You would have told this trembling person cowering in the dark corner of the hall not to let them numb you down, not let them damage you so much you didnt try to fight against them.  
Next date, and they were done with their „studies“. Your mind now trimmed to obey them and your body only worth the pieces it still consisted off.However the creature wich came crawling to you in the dark was so utterly stunned by his prey being just a whimpering mess, it made your cold and scarred flesh look like one of the most delcioous appetizer. It just snapped right at you stomach with the one claw it had and licked with its spliced tongue along the bleeding marks, sucking at it with growing lust like in a rush until they dragged the figure away from you with multiple metal chains around his neck, earning deeps growls from it.  
The last scream of yours almost crashed the soundboxes and you knew that it was the end of the video when the flickering lights shut down and their faces only got lit up by the fire. You just heard the whimpering and how they unchained you as they were finished. You could almost feel the needle they threw at you in your hand again and how it shook violently during the time you tried to stitch you stomach back together wich was through the non stop bloodstream barely visible. But after a while you managed to put the last parts of your abdomen together through silent sobbing, not caring about the rest of the burning marks or red stripes all across your back.  
You stood up slowly, passing the two man and ignoring their tears, being in no need of their pity.

You felt the blood in your ears and the memorie rushing through every single cell of your body filling them with adrenaline. You knew what to do now and the anger that you werent able to comprehend then showed now in the blood wich emerged form your own hands for the simple reasons that you dug your fingernails so hard in them.  
You rushed through the hall on your mission to the dungeon, followed closely by the two men wich seemed to follow you. The screams of the demon were like salt on your open wounds and increased your hunger into eternity. You pushed the door open and with three steps were next to Castiel and Lucifer and right in front of him.

_You shouldnt be in here little girl._

_Shut the hell up Lucifer. Castiel heal him._  
He looked back at Dean and obeyed after his nodding.  
He touched the whimpering creature and he sat up straight again, immediatley setting this insanly bright smile with glowing dark eyes like he hadnt just gone through the torture of the devil.

_Hellllloooooooo. You little bitch, were the one that captured me. Or shall i say not bitch? I mean you are obviously not something anybody would wannnnnnt. Oh come on dont look at me like that. You know it. Dont deny it. Come on i wanna be right lemme read your thoughts and then i know i am right, because i am, like always...._

_If you would read my mind you would be in tears._ You let your voice tremble along those lines, drawing an even brighter smile from this thing.

 _Show me then, i like a good drama._ His voice raspy but confident in the sense of him, thinking he would make it out alive.

And in this moment, this wonderfully planned moment of you, you felt his mind opening up to you like a childs book wich you couldnt only read out of, but write in.  
With dark eyes and a grin that mortified every other person in the room you grabbed his neck, almost snapping it in the hard movement.

**_There you are._ **

Your eyes emptied and shut down when you connected his mind to your memories, leaving you as an empty vessel of your own self, not able to stay and hear the long scream of your opponent. First when it subsided you opened them and asked him the last question he would ever hear.

**_Where do we find the dealer?_ **

Tears wich uncontrollably emerged, rolled down his face and met with your hand, still around his neck as he wispered the answer barely audible answer to your resounding ears.

 _Pandemonium_...

He breathed out for the last time but you still held onto him, not able to comprehend what you sacrificed for one word, keeping your hand at his enervating neck. Nobody said anything nor moved until Jack and Gabriel came running into the room both visibly panting and alarmed not by the scream but by the ending of it.

 _What did you do? What did you do to her?_  
Jack ran towards you but you spinned around before he could touch you.

 _Dont...please._. Every additional touch of someone could do the same with them, not having your mind in control and feeling like your thoughts transformed into a storm itself wich destroyed everything in its way. You wouldnt let that happen, even if that meant that you couldnt melt into the addictive hug from Jack you actually needed the most now.

 _I wont its ok._  
Even if his voice sounded pleading, he did not dare to challenge your beg.

 _I just need maybe a minute_. You looked around the room and the ones you recieved made you overthrow your plan...  
_Ok well maybe just some seconds lets...get going guys we have a lead_. You rushed through the stragetically placed people, walking a ridicioulus slalom in order not to touch them and burn their minds like toast.  
It looked dumb but it worked. This way of behaving and this kind of speaking in your so familiar sarcastic tone let you have the control over your body you tried to regain as fast as possible. For Jack. All of this for Jack. Your mind was so set on it, on your goal to be there for him.  
You turned to him one last time now pleading him with a silent stare to behave normal like all of this didnt happend, wich he, for the first time in probably all of his human life, understood the right way and followed you, letting the others behind.

Always one step ahead of him you let the cool hallway calm your nerves, opening up your mind again as fast as possible not to let Jack get how much this all affected you. But you failed. You knew that he listened to the whole scenario from the beginning in the way he started talking.  
**_Y/N!_**

**_  
Not now_ **

  
_Sorry_

 _It fine its just this annoying headacke_. You laughed but the corridor echo didnt hide how fake it sounded. Before he could answer you heard the rest of the group stepping out and following.

 _But no worries it already feels like it will fade, im just gonna grab some pain killers from the aid room. I will get to you, but do me a favor and search for a club named Pandemonium._ And with that you sneaked away from the others in a swift turn around the next corner, letting them head in the hall.

It only took you about a minute to find the little tablet and about another one to decide how many of them to take. You decided for three of the little blue bullets and chugged them down without water. However just as the lump wich formed in you throat, they got stuck in it, making breathing even harder than it already was for you. It took so much energy to keep going, to keep fighting against the tremendous amount of tears you held back. But as the pills ran down and clouded your mind the burning feeling in your eyes subsided and you got somewhat of a control back. You wouldnt cry infront of angels nor the Winchester brothers, or to put it better: You would go all drama infront of grown men. You would stomp your feelings down and lock them up, planning on a 1 o`clock date with a warm shower and hot tears running down your face. That would do it. And until then it was time for the actual mission.  
You headed to the big hall, finding a concentrated Jack and five silent men.

 _So Jack what did you find out about the club_? You ignored the rest of the group for now, trying to lead the convo into somewhat of a process.  
He turned Sams laptop around and you heard them stepping closer behind your back. You still were paniked about your ability to control your mind, breaking out in light sweating when your felt a certain trenchcoat lightly brushing against you. In order to have them all in a safe sight and being able to overview their movements you moved beside Jack, sitting down on the table next to him, turning your legs into an akward yoga position wich made it easier for you to focus on the flickering screen, reading through the white on black written website of a nightclub in New York.

_Wow ok. So i can understand why someone would go into a club in new york to make some transactions but make it so obvious like....i bet if i google demon and club this would be the first one to pop up, and you guys didnt think of that?_

_It not like we didnt search through every club we could find on our ways first..._

_We tried Y/N. We watched this club for about three days and only saw Demons going out and vanishing before we could catch them. Even castiel couldnt teleport into it when it was so heavy warded so we had to try getting in the old way, but noone could tell us the entry nor let us in._

_Dude seriously.._. everyone looked like they were startled by your words, not following your train of thought.. _.when i heard about your storys i was like what...10? You guys myths crossed my tracks so often they certainly would have heard if two brothers were able to kill of a certain demon named lilith just for an example. Of course they are trying to stay safe and at least one of them knew how you looked like. They probably have posters of you by the side of the doors. They wouldnt let you walk in, have a good time and some drinks and then get stabbed into the face by your guardian angel._  
You skipped further through the drink card and the announcements as you stated, getting stuck on one of the offers they had that upcoming day.  
_Chick thursday. Wow i cant. They let every chick in and give them a free drink. Thats a horrible business concept in the middle of New York._  
You turned the laptop around, letting the rest of the group skip through the infos by themselves.

 _Am i blind i dont see what you are talking about_.  
You furrowed you brows at Dean, pointing out the article, clearly visible in the middle of the screen.  
_What no i dont see it_?

 _Dean maybe think a bit yea, do me the favor_...Gabriel scooted closer and shook his head... _of course you cant see it, it is a club for demons and everything not human so i think you cant get the free drink im sorry. Maybe castiel will make you one._

You turned the laptop around again, staring at the ad. **_Hey Jack you can see it, right?_**

**_  
Yes, you too._ **

**_  
Yea i realised that, but why tho. Did someone forget to tell me someth.._ **

**_  
I want you to see it._** Jack threw a crooked smile at you, apologizing silently for sharing your mind with him once more.  
Our mind our powers. The concept of sharing was hard to explain to someone else who wasnt familiar with any sort of kindness and human behaviour so how he did it without questioning made the fuzzy feeling of pride creep back into your locked up feelings, only to get stopped by hearing the discussion that started without you.

_No he is not gonna be any help he isnt an angel he is just a dick._

_I dont like you either ya know._. Lucifer frowned and turned back to head into his room, hesitating for a second and looking like he hoped someone would stop him. When nobody did he took out his phone, tipping on it until he dissapeared around the corner. He was more of a teenager than his litteral teenager son...the crazy mind of angels.

 _Rude_... you looked at him accusingly and with that making the same expression as Sam.  
_Anyway i blacked out for a second there whats the plan._

_As we know Gabriel has most of his powers back and maybe he can break the warding. When that happenes, we go in, find this guy and.._

_How about no._ Castiel now snapped at him. _I told you i saw how strong the warding was, it doesnt help if someone more powerful tries to break it, it can still just be passed by someone who is naturally allowed to enter._

_Yea Cas it is not like we have any demon friends on hand._

_Its fine._.you sighed, already knowing where this was leading: no breaks for you.  
_My treat. I just need someone to go with, i dont want to look all single._

Sam turned around as well as Gabriel, both quite sad looking and even Dean knew what you implied.

 _What? Hey you have to say something! She just...she just did a better job than all of you and you want more of her._  
Jack stood up shaking violently when approaching Castiel who stood helpless beside Dean.

_Jack your blood is too much of a danger to let it be consumed by anybod.._

_Do i look like i care?_

_Hey Jack it alright calm down._ Deans not so soft voice didnt help the rage you felt inside of him, however being incapable of fighting against him in your status when the tablets clouded your mind and even numbed it from the realization what a stupid idea it was to jump into the next mission without getting somewhat of a rest.  
_Its not like we want her to do the work for us.._

_No but you let her in danger. She is my family now, more than i ever felt someone understanding me the way i am, and you told me to not let anyone hurt your family. And now you say you will let her go?_

_Jack listen i will stay with her.._

_And what did that help when the demon attacked. You couldnt heal her, and not even i can._ His voice trembled and he looked at me for help.

**_You said you see me as family. You said you see Castiel, Sam, Dean and Gabriel as family._ **

You tried to calm your nerves even more, pushing this trapped feeling from both of you.

 ** _So that means if you believe in them, i will as well, and to their defence, they wanted to fight for me, just like you would have. They try their best to keep you safe wich is incidentally also my goal. And when they have your trust, they have mine and i would choose them as backup every time and time again if i had to pick._**  
You let a slow pause follow your argumentation wich took so much energy from you.  
**_We are this close to somewhat of a normal life, to maybe a better life where you and me can stay here forever and do our training until we can go on our own hunts. Imagine that._**

Gabriel and Castiel locked down during your little monolog, letting Sam and Dean in the dark about what of an poetic passage you just scrambled up. But it reached its aim and Jack was put down when Castiel followed with his encouraging words...

_I will promise you to keep her safe like your sister. Like i promised your mother. She will give me the entry and the rest is my work, i again deeply promise you that. Will you believe me?_

Jack sighed, visibly beaten up by our words.

_Hey come on, its not like i am a party girl, i cant stand crowds anyway and will get home before midnight. Cas and i are just gonna have a little girls night out, am i right?_

Cas nodded in agreement even though he didnt understood my reference and again looked at Sam for help.

_As you said we will be back in no time..._

_We? Uhm what. I mean i didnt listen close but i said just Cas and i. In and out in no time._

_No no we are the backup, always will be._ Sam winked at me like Gabriel always did but still you were held back of the idea. However you didnt want another fight today and just backed up.

_Fine whatever..Party-crashers..._

_Just one more thing. Gabriel stays here with Jack, right?_

_I had no other plans._..you turned your head, only seeing him sitting in a couch all cuddled up and sipping on a cup of hot chocolate. He wanted to make this hard on you, trying to get you to stay here with your sweet weakness topped with marshmallows. **_Dangit_**.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i kind of had a writing block, but maybe just because it’s the first chapter i’m officialy posting on this website. But still here are the music Recommendations: 
> 
> Somebody else - the 1975
> 
> Count to nine - The japanese House

You weren’t suprised at how fast and neatly Sam and Dean managed to pack all the stuff they needed, including various books and weapons, into some bags. All you had was your ipod and the same pair of multiple pants and flannels wich Gabriel made for you out of thin air. You wondered if that means he stole it or if he could materialize them from thin air, because you sure as hell could need both of those skills.

The short period of time you had to get to the club in New York wich was, as you knew, too far to drive from Kansas, let them make the decision of a transport by angel. Dean however didn’t seem really exited for this, wich you could understand. Even if you would do it a hundred times, you couldnt seem to get the hang of it.

_What are you thinking of?_

_You dont read my thoughts?_

_No, it‘s much more interesting from time to time to just watch you. I don’t  always need to know what lays behind that._

_Well it seems like you want to with Lucifer most of the time.._

_That’s something different! First of all he killed me...and he is my brother, wich doesn’t make up for it, no, but it pervents that i kill him too...because i myself have somewhat of a heart._ He nodded at himself and took another sip from the steaming cup wich didnt look like it would ever empty.

 _You do Gabriel, wich is the reason i let you stay here with both of them._ Sam entered the hall with two full packed bags and a silver knife peaking out of one of them like it was a casual item. You giggled at the sight of a big, grown up man with weapons who still, with his long, soft hair and sweet smile, looked like it never ever in his life touched a weapon.  
_Did you think i would let Lucifer watch over Jack after ya know...everything._

_What did he do, i mean it doesn’t seem so bad if you let him stay here._

_Honey it is bad, but it’s worse if he slenders around the world without his grace and human. He would still be capable of more then the apocalypse again. He would go around..messsing with babys or smth._

_Hold up. Really. I mean yes i have heard he was the reason for some of the dramas that been going around but i didn’t know he made it that far. I mean if he did...why are we here._

_Because we managed to kick his ass back to hell before he could._ Dean entered the room with three bags in his hands, visibly struggeling with them. He almost let one roll down the small stairs if with a flapping of wings Castiel didn’t managed to catch it mid air.

_wow...Castiel you have to teach Jack that trick. Maybe then i wouldn’t shatter things every day._

_I’m sure we will soon have time for this part of Jacks training but so long you may want to try something yourself. Gabriel and i discussed you may be able to use our powers, even so far, that you can use our full techniques and then Jack will be able to learn it more quickly._ You sat up, willingly and very interested in his plan and Gabriel smiled at you.

_Seems like she would like to do that._

_Are you kidding? That’s like the best thing, imagine the possibilities._ You stared off into the distance, waving your hand at nothing like you counted the ways of using it in your daily life. No more walking or standing up from your bed, just zapp and you would stand at the fridge, grabbing a drink before the filmnight started without you.  
_Amazing._

 _Great, i hope that also means i am able to transport both of you with me then, wich means you have to go first._ He reached his expectantly hand out to me.

 _Wait, i wanted to say Jack goodbye. I didn‘t meet him when i packed my stuff. Do you know where he is?_  
Sam and Castiel looked down at my question, only leaving Gabriel to tell me what was going on. You already had a bad feeling the whole time, but Jacks rejection hit you the hardest.

_Sorry kiddo he said he wanted to train a bit._

_Now?_

_He just... give him a bit of time, he isnt really the best at goodbyes._ You locked down now too, not understanding how he would leave you alone. It was not like this was easy on you, being alone with those hunters, not able to touch them because you were afraid you would roast their mind like grilled cheese. But you straightened your back at the thought that kept you half alive through this. You did it for him. Because he deserved it. Because you saw what he was so beautifully capable of. Because he deserved this peaceful life. And if this was over for the both of you, you would come back.  
_It’s  fine, just tell him he should call me and keep me updated on how his training goes. And you don’t leave him out of sight for one more second, you hear me. I want this house clean and hopefully not burned down when i come back if you wouldn’t mind._  
Gabriel held his hands up in surrender and nodded slowly like i threaded him, wich you silently did.  
_I want this place spotless..._

_What if i name a dog spot...can i keep him?_

You turned around to Castiel again with a mixture of eyerolling and grinning, trying to hold back a laughter at how dumb the joke was. But still you smiled. You couldn’t wait to get back to your normal routine with them. Movie night, every night.

_Here take my hand and i will guide you throughout the process._

_Oh no, it’s all in my mind anyway so no need for that. Just tell me what to do._

_Well it’s not exactly easy to explain._

_Just think of the feeling. How it is and how it starts, from beginning to end, that should do. The rest is my imagination anyway, just start whenever you feel like._

_Ok, but keep concentrated. There is still a risk that you could transport yourself to another place, so keep the adress in mind and only the adress. And maybe relax, i won’t know how it will feel so i can’t warn you._

Your mind already was set in place as you heard his directions, so he started to imagine how he did it in his beginnings. As he was born he took his first steps over the 4th dimensions so they weren’t exactly measurable and nothing but a sine in our world. A high pitched tone, an undefined white noise, barely audible for the human hearing. But he felt how his back became heavy with the feeling of his wings unfolding to take the nanosecond ride across countries.

 ** _New York, Right drive 6. New York, Right drive 6. New York, Right dr..._**  
Even if he would have told you how it felt, you wouldn’t be able to repeat the words he said. You would have probably just turn on the TV and switched it to no signal to compare the sounds you heard. But that wasn’t the only sensation. Because of an instantly occuring, heavy weight wich acended on your back you lost balance and got dragged down to the ground behind you. Even though it felt like you had a outrageous large backpack on you, you fell with your bare back first on hard, wet asphalt and felt multiple raindrops on your face. For another second you couldn’t make out where up and down was and neither if the thing you felt was pain or just the bare touch of something. Your vision only consisted of black spots wich one after another cleared up, just to make another dark surface appear in front of you. Only inches away from the ground you looked into a rather dark street wich didnt look intimidating at all. The silent rain and the warm street lights gave off a feeling of freedom and peace at the same time as the cold night air refreshed the warmth in your lungs, making you blow off the little steam clouds wich you so adored. Only when you realized how quickly the rain ended you looked up.

_I see you very successfully made it to New York, however landed a few blocks off our actual destination. Dean and Sam are already in the hotel and i could sense you here. May i help you to stand up from the ground? The human beings are common to catch a so called cold, if exposed to it for a longer period of time._

_It‘s fine, no need for a whole lesson._ You stood up, a bit shaking but you did, and took a step under the black umbrella wich fit Cas hair so perfectly and held the heavy rain that went down now, away.  
_It’s ok you can materialize away now. I still know the adress._ Your tone was bitter, still expressing on how frustrating this whole scenario was for you. How you couldn’t be with him, with them.

_Oh no, i feel the need to not let you out of my sight since i promised it Jack._

_Jack, yes. Hope he will call, or write an sms. He was really angry and_ _he let me feel it._

 _Dont think it is your fault, he just is not prepared for someone to leave his life so suddenly._ You let him stay silent for a while. His walk got heavy and his shoulders sank, showing how he felt on the inside. But in order not to disturb him you stayed out of his mind and took the umbrella from his hands to at least take this weight from him.  
_Thank you Y/N._

 _No need for that._ You answered lightly and breathed in audibly to distract yourself a bit, watching how the cars passed by the two of you, lightling along your way to the hotel.  
_Y/N can you tell me more about what calms you, it looks like it comes to you much more easily._  
You thought some seconds about the questions and decided to answer it directly instead of asking for the reason behind it. You could understand how he was tense all the time. He was around hunters and his brothers who weren‘t really normal too. And who wouldn’t flip out when they heard this crazy white noise everytime they tried to flee from them.

 _Oh the nights at the bunker were the best. A hot chocolate and a good film. Or a hot shower, really steamy, instead of blowing off steam._ Cas chuckled silent at the stupid joke and you got entrained by it.  
_And this. Laughing. It‘s so freeing don’t  you think._  
He got silent again.

_I don‘t often hear Dean laughing...or Sam._

_Then make them Cas. It‘s not that hard. Make a few stupid puns from time to time or maybe a little sarcasm won’t hurt, but i will promise you if you smile they will too. It’s infecting._  
He immediately cocked the head to the side.  
_No not like that. It’s not a virus or something its more like a treat._ You looked him up and down for a second.  
_You have a wonderful smile just like Jack, show it off a bit more._  
He stopped and took the umbrella from your hand, scaring you for a moment that you offended him with something you said.  
_We arrived, this is our hotel. And if you turn around there is the club._  
You did and had to squint your eyes to see the blinking neon letters through the rain wich still poured down on the both of you. Only the ring of Cas Handy put you out of the trance wich the hypnotic rain let you fall in.  
_Yes Sam i found her._  
_....._  
We stand in front of it.  
....  
I know in wich room you are currently in.

 _Good then lets go._ You waited for him to put the handy back into his damp trechcoat until your eyes, wich still were glued on the peaceful street, snapped back to the entry door.  
It was a rather new built hotel with modern fassade and a classic, movie like entrance hall out of a james bond thriller. You went straight for the elevator and waited for Cas to come after you but he took his time to fold the umbrella neatly and put it in the basket beside the doors. You were amazed at how he cared for the littlest things and the finest details instead of rushing by things so fast to not cherish them so you waited for him patiently. You had enough things to stress about anyway so why not take your time with these ones.  
He took the few steps into the elevator and stood next to you, pressing the button to the 4th floor.  
_We may thought your wanted to have your own room wich is right across ours._

_Smart of you. You don‘t want to hear me snoring._

_I doubt it would bother me. So far as i can tell Dean is the worst sleeper in all of the time i watched earth._  
You peaked up, looking at him from the side and cocked a smile. He did listen to you.

......................................

As you entered their room on the far left down the long hall you already heard someone snoring from one of the others rooms.

 _Hey Cas, seems like you found her. No joke, i think you were pretty close for your first time. I don‘t know if i would have managed to do it like that._ Sam whispered in order not to wake Dean who slept like a pancake in a whole human circle across the bed, not even caring for the covers. You looked at him for a short while, watching his irregular breathing but your gaze got stuck on the gun, whose silver handle peaked out under his pillow. Your mind just didn’t want to let the feeling go you had when hunting with your uncle. You assumed he was dangerous even when he slept through one of his drunk sessions, holding a beer in his hand. You settled as silent as possible on the chair wich was the furthest away. To your misfortune was the glass on the table not glued down so as you held your gaze on the older Winchester you tipped it over, earning a loud shattering noise from it. His body shooted up in shock, holding the gun thight and pointing at you.

 _Dean relax._ Sam just waved at him, not even caring of his shocked look. Even as you saw the angst and the hurt that was fully displayed on his face, you still broke out in a silent panic attack and your shirt was wet from sweat.

 _Sorry Sammy. Hey Y/N looks like you joined us again._ He stood up, rubbing his hands over his face and approaching the three of you.

You breathed in sharp and managed to get an answer out wich sounded just borderline worried.  
_I can‘t let you run around New York on your own. Imagine the choas.  
So just tell me what you thought of, do it and then head back to the bunker, how does that sound._

 _Thats all we want too believe me. So get this...._.Sam turned around the laptop and showed you different camera angles wich all showed the club, front and back entrance.  
_The club lets people only enter at the back of it and the front is closed but maybe when you’re in, you can open us up._

_But Cas will come with me, right?_

_No Y/N, i can’t come with you into the club the warding holds me back._  
You turned around to him in slight confusion.

 _I thought you promised Jack to ya know...not leave me alone._ Castiel opened his mouth to defend his actions but you didn‘t let him finish.  
_No nevermind, i get it. Jack wouldn’t let me take a step out of the bunker if i wouldn’t be protected._

 _You‘re not exaclty not protected._ Dean rambled through one of his bags and drew a knife. He layed it carefully on the table, still holding it back from you with his hands.  
_But we learned, hiding is the best attack sometimes._

_When did you learn that?_

_Shut up Sammy. So... tarning...what do you want to wear._

You stared him down, unable to connect the dots.  
_What?_

_You maybe ya know...should dress up a bit to not get recognzied between the crowds of party people._

_Dean maybe **you** shouldn‘t say that._  
You and Sam chocked at Cas sarcastic remark.  
_Let her decide what to wear, she knows best. She probably doesn’t need tips from any lumberjack._  
Sam broke out in a long laughter when Dean looked startled at Castiel who leaned against the wall, proud of his joke.

 _I can’t even be mad, that was amazing Cas._ You held your hand up, expecting a high five from him, but he didn‘t quite seem to understand.  
**_Cas, you have to slap against it._**

**_Oh ok._ **

He quickly took the step to you and mastered his first high five unexpectedly well. As long as Dean was unable to comprehend what happened and Sam was occupied with laughing you snaked Sams laptop and your keys wich both lied on the table.  
_Don‘t worry, i got this. It’s basically in my genes....i just have to do some research maybe and need Cas to get some things._

_Call me then._

You nodded and turned around to head to your own room, very pleased with youself and how quickly Cas learned “normal” human behaviour. But maybe he had it just naturally anyway. For the time you studied the books about them in the library they were mostly described as supernatural creatures with no ability of emotions or empathy. You didn‘t saw that, in none of them. Gabriel was kind in the right times and even Lucifer was capable of being a grumpy bitch. You took a note in mind to change those passages in the books and closed the door behind you. Finally some alone time again. You actually didn’t had much time to shower but your hair needed a wash anyway so you tapped for a while on your ipod, searching for some kind of trend playlist that would update you on litterally everything wich happened in fashion ever. You thought long about what to wear when you washed your hair with the little apple shampoo, wich was on the side of the shower and right next to some other supplies wich you never saw in hotels before. But maybe you just werent in the right ones.  
As you stepped out of the shower, towel drying your hair, one of the videos freezed and was still loading, but you stopped the video anyway and looked at the dress wich was displayed so stunningly.

Before you called Cas for the needed supplies wich constisted of approximately more than just one page you wrapped a towel about your most private parts wich even an angelic creature shouldn’t see.

_**Hey Cas do you have a second maybe?** _

_**I am here.** _

_**Where?** _

_**In front of the door, i didn’t want to go in since you just showered and Dean told me to never go in on someone who just showered. Humans tend to be very sensitive about that part of their hygene routine.**_  
You thought about the scenario for a tad bit but skipped back to the important stuff since Cas was still with your thoughts.

_**Well i just need some things, so maybe take the block from the table and take notes.** _

_**Just start. My head is constructed to remember high funtioning processes.** _

_**Ok well here we go. I need something called foundation..** _

So you listed all the things you apperently needed but never heard of during the process of getting your hair to dry, wich was a challenge on his own.

**_Is there anything else i can take care of. Maybe a certain kind of clothing would be appropriate._ **

**_Damn straight and i need exactly this one._** You stepped out of the bathroom, releasing a huge steam cloud into the bedroom. As the cold air hit your feet you swiped the display wich had fogged up and showed it to Cas. Hopefully you watched his expression wich sadly didn’t change. However his quiet answer sparked something in you.

 _I will search for it like it will be my last mission..._ and he was gone with his light flutter of wings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know if it was any good. I was supposed to be a chill chapter but i can’t tell how it turned out really or if someone reads this and i’m writing to nobody yay! :D


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So im glad i got to upload a new chapter about one week later because i had some writing blocks. But i finally decided to go on with the story in a more different way. You may think its a bit odd written but guys believe me it has a purpose. Promise...  
> Music Suggestions:   
> Heads will roll- projekt x   
> Fuck boy- Apashe  
> You dont own me - Grace (also the remix is really good)

 

The three hours you had were barely enough for the things and work you had to put into yourself. You had no idea what to exactly do, but were confident that the videos you found guided you through this. One step after another you put on the things that appearead on the bathroom table (with a faint wing flutter), including little bottles, various brushes and flat boxes you only ever saw displayed in shops but never even dared to touch. At least all these forgeign things felt good on the skin. Most of the stuff felt cooling or refreshening like it probably should be, because they also told you if it burned: immediatly take it off. It was no easy task to follow the things they said when they did it so quickly and effortless and you even struggled with holding the brush upright for a minute, blending those crazy coloured powders on your eyelids. But you loved watching yourself transform like you never did before. It was like drawing on your face or sketching another shape onto it, making a whole new one. Brown colours brought out cheekbones you didnt see before and reds created a flush on them. However glitter was your favourite, although you had to hold back to not put it all over your whole body. When you finished your face with a spray, wich confused you more and more because you just dried it with powder, you focused on your hair.  
After you rubbed the dry towel through it, wich transformed it immediately into a wet one, it looked like a jungle in wich tarzan alone could live in.

When you looked at the clock of the room you began to calculate. On the one hand, you still had two hours left, on the other you were utterly confused on how you spend that much time on just your face. Before that you took two minutes in the bath for brushing your teeth and doing the least to your hair. But the circumstances changed and with them, you. It was not like you didnt like it, however it took effort from you. But it would be all worth it, if you could just walk into the club without getting stabbed or something.  
So you picked up the brush, wich fell down for the 10th time and restarted to brush through the single strands of hair wich fell down flat again. You took the hairspray and almost wet them, but it only created a stiff film wich would be able to hold the curls you were about to put in....or so you were told by the person with the weird haircut in the video. After you heard an almost sizzling noise and the strand of hair began to smoke you let it fall from the hot iron. The hair burned your uncovered shoulder for a moment but it cooled down immediately, just like they said it would. As you furthermore put the spray into your hair, you prayed to whoever was listening, that it would conserve all the effort you were about to put into your heavy hair. So you struggled for one more hour through arm cramps and hair strands wich got stuck in your mouth as well as multiple burns from holding the hair too close to the iron. All in all it was a painful process and you were struck dead when they told you to brush through it once more. But it couldnt get any worse, you already looked like a disco diva wich got high on the perm acid.

However, as you brushed it throughouly it warped itself probably through another dimension and revealed the most beautiful waves you ever saw, and you had to say it looked even better than the video. It was now worth the one time you almost suffocated from the fine dust of the spray can. So you put some clips in, to not disturb or ruin it in any shaper form and turned around to the closet wich you were sure Castiel put the dress in. You hoped he found it but were suprised when you didnt even see the colour you ordered. You were shocked at how Cas could be so wrong and not even remember that, however the little note, wich fell out as soon as you took it from the hanger, explained his actions.

**A recommendation from the store woman, wich didnt let me go without it.**

You werent really comfortable of the shape. It looked way to tight fitting and sleek. But on the other hand you never even wore a dress so what did you know. She probably really knew best so you slipped into it, only realizing you put it on the wrong way.  
_Yep total profi. Totally doing everything right, no complains._  
More sounds of struggling emerged from your mouth as you squeezed yourself into it one more time.  
_I wont ever get out of that again. Im probably just gonna sleep in it. Eat too. Not breath though, when i ever get that damn zipper up._  
Just a jump helped it to go up all the way, pressing the last bit of air out of your lungs. At least you were now able to walk yourself over to the mirror in those **_slight_** high heels. It just felt like walking on a rope but it challenged you the exact right way to keep your balance at all cost. You were even glad that you didnt eat anything in a while, because the new height made the ground look way too far away and blurred when you looked down. Maybe you should eat a bit, before you had to beat up some douchebags in their natural habitat of bars and clubs. But you were more than ready, psychologically and phsycially, and didnt want to waste time unnecessary...only the knife you had on the side of your leg went out of place and to a whole-nother-one where no sharp things should ever go.

Or so you thought, not that you exaclty **_knew_**.

You shook your head lightly to shoo away the random thoughts about not wanted topics in your head and slowed your breathing wich got racked and unsteady through this whole process wich felt like a marathon. Even with Jacks training and the boxing sessions, nothing prepared you for the hour long get-ready for the mission. There wasnt even time for your thoughts to trail of to Jack and think about him and what you did, because the silent buzzing of your phone reminded you with a text from Sam that they were ready to leave and waiting in the lounge.

At least then you could use the corridor of the hotel to train your walking wich still felt and probably looked too like you were standing on ice or a soap bar. However, before you took off you grabbed your keys form the room, a light jeans jacket and a spritz of perfume because you felt this adventurous side of you coming through. Still the clumsy side took over and you managed to spray a bit in your mouth, being totally frustrated about the fact that it didnt taste like it smelled. You sipped a bit from the glass of water to make it fade and then turned around to open the door, stepping outside in the cold hall.

Knocking on the other door had no sense since they were already in the lobby, but you couldnt help to look down the hall. It felt even more elegant, now that the lamps were on and the soft light touched the golden stripes on the wall so beautifully. You gazed intently at them, letting this feeling roam through your body. For the first time those hotels werent foreign or for a sleepless night. They were comfortable. They were a safe place. Finally a new one after all those others were destroyed with the late events. But you only then realised how this hotel was no other, just the people who brought you here. They managed to write over your memories, letting the bad ones fade into nothingness until they belonged to nobody.

As long as you were gone in your head for the monolog you reached the elevator and pressed the cold, silver button wich called it with a bing. You never realised that little detail too, but it let your mood swing up, giving you a weird push of confidence somehow. Your posture straightened and you watched how the digital numbers slowly counted to one. It felt painfully slow and you felt your adrenaline rush through you, making you feel your blood in your ears. Incredibly how your body could turn from dazing off to full-on-hulk-smash-mode in about 0.1 seconds but on the other hand it didnt suprise you. Many times before this you had to sprint down a hill or through a whole town to escape various monsters your uncle wasnt and never even closely able to catch. But this time you had the choice. You were the hunter. You stepped out and took two wide steps to the lobby where you saw the three of them already observing the club where masses of people streamed in. You gave your hair a light ruffle before making yourself noticeable. You knew you looked good but apparently more than that.

 _Ehm, guys? Im here lets get going!_  
They all turned in syncro but that didnt let you laugh out loud. It was the bare fact that all of their jaws dropped too, almost too film like.  
_Are you ok? Is there a ghost behind be or something?_  
You turned around to hide you smile wich you werent even able to supress and the blush you felt coming. Lucky that you wore enough foundation to cover that at the least you turned back around.

_No. Just ...damn i didnt know!_

_Yes, Dean i am a girl. Suprise!_ You stricked a pose and held your hands up.

 _Wait no, come on, thats not what i meant...you know what i meant._ He immediately turned frustrated again.

 _Its ok man. I didnt even know that this was me. Maybe i should indeed wear skirt more often._ You tapped him on the shoulder and took a step past him and to the door, holding it open.  
_If you keep staring im going alone? Oh riiight. I **am** going alone._  
You smirked when you saw the guilty look on their faces.  
_Oh come on guys. Let me joke a bit, it will all go right anyway. Just in, grab the blood, and out._ You stepped out the door on the still wet street and stood behind a car.  
You heard how they stepped outside and turned back around to them, leaning against it.

_You have you knife on hand right, and your handy. Put your ringtone on._

_Done and done Sam. Im ready, its not like im looking for a fight too...but i have your permission to punch some douches in the face right?_

Sam giggles but Dean look worried again.  
_No you promise me if someone in there comes an inch too close to give them a right swing. You dont have a clue how dumb man can be..._

_Speaking out of experience?_

_Yea man. Some of them are hideous._  
Sam appreciatively layed a hand on Dean shoulder who looked like he would start to sprint in the club himself.  
_Im sure she will be fine. She had time to train, right Y/N?_

 _Yeaaa._ You remembered the weak point you had and that Jack still managed from time to time to tickle himself out of your thight grip.

 _Doesnt sound like it._ Dean turned back around to Sam and Castiel and wanted to start discussing again.

 _Dean i dont think we have anymore time to change our plan._ Cas tried to calm him but you knew they how much of his words were true since the crowd thinned and the risk that they recognized you somehow went higher. So you took andvantage and in the heat of their discussion you went around the car and stepped newr the entrance in line. You didnt stop until you were tight between a group of multiple couples who all were half drunk and almost double your age. So you just shieled your face as best as you could from the sight of the bodyguards and looked back a last time to the three of them wich stood still, just watching.  
One last train of thought ecscaped your mind and into castiels as you entered the warding wich made every chance of communication between them desinegrate.  
**_Keep them safe_**  
Thats all you wanted. It still was your job to keep them secure and safe but inside of this club, you had no option but let them go on their own. You knew they were hunters and litteral angels but the psychic is what counted and when it came down to that, you were the strongest. Not even the bodyguards then questioned your age and just let you pass wich drew a small sight of relieve from you. Still you werent finished. And the louder growing roaming of electro music was a sign of that as the strong beats made your chest feel heavy. Still you had no plan on how to exactly get to the other entrance door or even knew if it was warded. And it got even worse when you entered the main hall. Crowds and crowds of sweaty people dancing and raving to the music with no sign of fresh air from a window. You breathing started to get racked at the smoke wich came from a smoker longue near you and you hurried to the back of the club near the soundboxes. You pressed past many people and counted about a three hundred of them. You started to think even if you could let the others in, how you would find maybe two people wich exchanged such a small package. Fear started to also well up when more and more people pressed you together like a ballon. Just the last steps were missing until you jumped up a pair of stairs and with that, saving yourself from getting suffocated by the party people who didnt seemed to care a bit. You took advantage of the mindless people and the louds music to pick the lock wich was attached to the side door. Even though you thought you were a borderline sherlock holmes, there was no such talent in you to crack this lock open in under an hour. So just the pure impact of your heel to the metal was left as a chance to get the others inside this already overflowing club. With a barely audible sound, the chains fell down and got shoved immediately aside when you opened the heavy door.

Nobody in sight.  
**_Are you shitting me. So much to the great backup and not leaving me alone._**

**_Dont say that._ **

**_Oh man Cas._** You let out a deep sight and letting the cold night air hit the last place in your lungs. For a bare second you closed your eyes, opening them when a flutter of wings sounded through the heavy music wich still echoed in your chest.

_Dean and Sam are right behind me. Y/N are you alright? You were suddenly gone and i had to hold them both back to not run after you._

_There was no need for worry. Totally capable as you see._

_I didnt say you weren.._

_Hey man there you are._ Dean catched up as well as Sam, clutching his hand as Cas shoulder and pretty obviously breathing heavy.

  
_And there are you. Man you should train a bit more you know, its not really what i call a hunters shape._

_Rude._

_No Dean, true._

_Oh shut up._

_As much as i want to watch the both of you fight and mock each other, we still had this plan, you remember. Cas do you think you can follow now?_

_Yes i will be..._

_That all i wanted to hear._ You barely barked at them now, not wanting anything to go off plan when you came that far. You turned on your heals and took large steps right into the club again, getting consumed by the thick air and hoping they would know where to go and what to look out for. You turned around one last time half way to make sure they headed in different directions. Dean went for the left side as Sam took on the right. Only Cas zapped itself right into the upper stages letting the by now flickering lights cover his, for humans impossible to understand, trail. As you saw them leaving you shoved this unstoppable feeling of panic aside. Panic of the crowd. Panic that they would crush you. And panic that the other would find them first, getting hurt in a fight. Panic that Jack would blame you for it. All those feelings had to be locked up now and your eyes focused on the task and on you aim.

They all just danced in ecstacy to the heavy beats wich grew louder inside your chest as you kept going near the sound boxes on the end of the club. Only when you pressed yourself right into them and your hearing started to fade into one loud noise, you were able to watch the whole crowd as well as the superior platforms wich almost floated like single constructions above it. Even if the poledancers were trained in not falling off of them you were sure there happened more than one accident before.

When most of them were pretty much unreachable you had no other chance as to reach for the lowest of them, wich always seemed to be reserved for especially drunk girls. You lightly grazed your leg to make sure your knife was still in place when you swung it up the emperor. You only spend two seconds of the thought of how maybe you would get more attention towards you, not knowing how to behave. However the other screaming and whooing girls pretty much made you melt into them in a matter of seconds, rocking you back and forth between their heat radiating bodies.  
You were awaken again when a bright stray of white light crossed right by your eye. You were almost unsure if it came from the reflection of the disco ball. However as the person standing the closest to it just dropped dead on the floor you were sure it was no coincidende, not in this club of the whole city, not right now.

You sprung down the two steps wich seperated the playform from the crowd and dived right into it, getting consumed by them. With only a vague direction of where the sheen came from you let go of the high shoes wich were holding you back and sprinted across the dance floor in a now tremendous speed. You knew you were close to something when you ran over a still hot burned mark on the floor wich was fresh. A strange scent of burned whatever-but-for-sure-no-cigarettes lingered from it.  
You bowed down, taking the risk of getting hit by any free swinging arms, managing to crawl further to the person which was about two feet away from the oddly shaped burns. However, what could you even call odd in this situation.

As you roamed your eyes over the unconcious body you saw nothing that came close to any case wich could include even the smallest amount of blood. The only place left was his suit jacked so you just pushed with closed eyes your hand into the side pocket, only to realise it was empty and the body wich was “attached” to it ice cold. You stumbled onto your back, shoving yourself away. You werent prepared for this. And none of the others even seemed to see the man and as you scooted further away from him. They just ran over him, making him dissapear between the crowd of legs and feet.  
_**It doesnt matter, it didnt hit you. You dont know him. He is not your target.**_  
You coached yourself out of the panik attack that rose up inside of you because there was no backup in sight and you were so close to a lead. You shooted up in a hopeful manner to scan the moving crowd for an attacker. Luckily and for once in your life, faith actually decided to help you and the rythmics of the song became so steady the whole crowd jumped up and down in synchronisation.  
In a matter of seconds you saw a black suited guy that didnt follow the same pattern. Even though he was close to the entrance, apparenlty leaving, it reassured you of how close you were when you saw a rather small suitcase getting carried with him.  
As fast as your, from glasses and shards sliced up, feet could carry you, you took the last of your power to almost fly through the people, taking every hit of the music to make one step ~ they melted in with the beat of your heart wich was on the edge of exploding. But it was all worth, when you sprinted out of the club and not getting held back by the bodyguards. Too fast and too small to catch they let you pass, and you only heard the calls of them after you as you passed the next corner to the front street. You always kept the man, wich walked at a now faster pace down a parallel side street, in sight.  
You calmed yourself and basically stopped your heart at pure will when you ran across the street and followed him, making your head clear of any different thoughts than to reach this suitcase and throw it into the next river available.  
You didnt even look behind you nor searched for a sign that the others followed when you made a sudden stop as you reached the next corner. You saw him. He was so close only steps away in the dark street. And right there, in the cold night and your heartbeat in your ears, you searched for his mind and just... _snapped_.  
You snapped into hunting mode, letting every help behind you, every other person that could get hurt. Every other person wich was important to Jack. You now took care of this. Wanting to finish this, for all it took from you already.  
With a few steps through the shadows you stepped behind him, grabbing his neck and heaving him down, only to reveal a second person approaching from the dimm lights of the backstreet. But you learned from your experience. Not letting go of the first one you kept your grip and let your mind go blank. You felt how your memories went through every cell of his body, overflowing them with the pain. They burned under your hands and away in the matter of seconds and just a faint scream halled back into your mind. It got suffocated as you thightened the grip, drawing blood from the sides of his neck with your nails. You opened your eyes but everything was blurry. However you couldnt tell if it was from the sweat that went down in hot streams all over your body or the reflection of light from the streetlamp wich ascended behind you and stabbed through your sensitive eyes like sharp shards of glass. You almost collapsed as the pain went straight to your head but were too afraid of what would happened if the second guy managed to actually get near you. However your spin came to a sudden stop, when you felt a fist land right into your gut. And it would have been a bad turn of events if your hand wouldnt have striped across his wrist, letting your thougts run wild inside of his, letting all the pain he just gave you return to himself.  
Karma.  
He cramped down and landed on one of his knees only to get now dangerously close to yours. You took the andvantage and rocked it up to hear a craking of bones and a dull thud of head on stone. You had time to draw your knife for your pocket as his eyes turned deep black right infront of you. There was no hesitation left in you when the knife was so tempting near his heart. You sank it right into his flesh, letting his eyes glow up and his mouth fall open.  
Defeated, single handedly by you, and only you. You mind told you it was wrong as you saw the blood flood over the pavement and mix with the rain streams but your flashing memories of the black eyes told you otherwise. You only then realised how empty of a vessel you were since you left the bunker. How you didnt think about the consequences and just your plan. However this was your mission and what it had been leading up to. There was no negotiation when you would meet them. There had been no time.   
_Right? Tell me. Cas tell me._ Your voice sounded just as empty as you felt. An accurate reflection. You dull eyes looked up to him. He just arrived, only seeing what you had done. 

_No, there wasnt. You did the right thing._

The angel slowly stepped closer, trying to get the suitcase from you wich you had a death grip around.  
_Not for nothing Cas but...let me keep it. I will...protect it._

 _For all the right reasons._ He walked beside me, shoving me fowards with his body language.

_Imagine i would have killed you._

_You would never._

_But i could, when im not **here**. Isnt it like that. _ You stopped, seeing the two hunter approaching fast. You ended the terrible path of mind you went down and shut them off. _**Dont let them see.**_ You didnt know if you said it more to yourself or Cas, but basically everyone who was willing to listen. But he didnt help you, not fast enough. The two of them were next to you and saw everything. But they acted like hunters, for once. They went silent, only arguing with Castiel how he didnt tell them they had left, but never raised their voice against you. They ignored the two dead bodies and didnt mentioned them for once. And you didnt either. You walked ahead of the group, leading them back to the hotel. Staying silent during the whole time in the elevator and the corridor. You checked into your room and immediately starting to pack your stuff. 

During the whole time you watched yourself like a puppet. You stood next to yourself and how mindless you acted. You couldnt get any grip on reality or emotions wich should well up in any normal human being. The time just passed by your eyes and so your stuff was packed in minutes, ready to leave. You were half dead like a zombie. The only thing you felt was displacement of mind. You displaced a part of you somewhere, so it would hurt you, so you wouldnt hurt youself. 

**_Cas?_ **

**_Y/N? Are you ready to leave yet?_ **

**_Yes what about the others._ **

**_They are still packing, so no._ **

**_Do you mind if i get going already._ **

**_Im not sure if you are well rested enough to travel back._ **

**_Believe me. Just ..do._ **

**_Do you want to come over, maybe it will go easier that way._ **

**_No i can do it from here, i just need some starthelp._**  

You closed your eyes, sitting with straight back on your bed and hands on your knees. Perfectly placed. And in a momentum of time you sat in your bedroom of the bunker. Far away from Dean,Sam and Castiel and even though you were just meters away from Gabriel, Jack and Lucifer you were in a whole different world.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to continue the story i OFC want to go in a more healthier way since i fucked the reader a bit up ._. And if you want to partcipate a bit in the story maybe leave suggestions in the comments of how you like to get taken care of. Hugs. Sleep. Music. Vodka...you tell me :D


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Recommendations:  
> Nym-Phlux  
> Waiting too long- hippy sabotage

_Sam where is Dean?  
_

_Right behind you. Hey come here._ Dean hugged Jack who immediately got stiff like a board. He wasnt used to Dean being in such a light and happy mood since..since he wasnt born probably. Just barely he could see through his squashed face that Castiel came closer to the both, looking at Jack with pity.

_I think Jack wants to say something Dean and you are preventing him from it._

_Its fine Cas just tell me where y/n is. I wanted to apologize to her. She didnt mean to leave me i think, she just wanted to protect me. But its rather hard to tell those apart when she didnt let me in her mind. She told me its called privacy. I dont get that still._

_Jack what do you mean she is already here and arrived half an hour ago. She left before us and transported herself with my power._ Cas cocked his head to the side like he rather often did when questioning something obvious.

Jack on the other hand just stood still before attempting a sprint down the corridor to talk to you. However his action was stopped from the tight grip of Dean wich sat him down onto a seat. His expression changed from being-glad to dictate-mode.  
_Wow wow kid. Ever though that it has a reason why she didnt tell you she was here?_

_No, of course not. Y/n told me when she was back we wanted to keep training. What changed her mind?_ Dean looked down, trying to search for the right words on the concrete floor, but didnt seem to find any.  
_Dean what happened. What did you do to her._

_No we didnt do anything._ His voice sounded more desperate than angry, wich made Jack even more insecure. He was used to him hiding his emotions but showing them so unfiltered was not his normal behaviour.

_Look Jack. First of all she made it, y/n got your blood..._

_But thats good, right? Why would she be sad then, when that is considered a win._

_Cas can you help?_ Sam run his hand through his hair. _Maybe you can fill in some of the blank. I mean we only arrived when she already...finished them._

_Its ok Sam._ Castiel took a deep inhale and tried to sort his memories in the exact right order.  
_When she followed the Demon wich was suppose to sell your blood, another angel tried to stop him. Heraziel. He was a young angel from another batallion and wasnt even suppose to be on earth but the fact that he was and that even he knew about your blood means the info made its round._ Castiel used air marks to exentuate his words and make it clear to Jack that the info did not literally got passed in a circle formation.  
_However he died in the attempt to take it from him. Luckily y/n saw that and could follow him, but i wasnt fast enough to get to her._ Jacks eyes widened and the question wich was plastered clearly on his face got immediately answered.  
_No she wasnt hurt..however he and another Demon, wich were supposedly there to exchange the blood against some kind of payment._

_Not for nothing Cas but they didnt exactly got hurt._ Dean raised his eyebrows as he remembered the short glimps he catched on their corpses.  
_Jack do you remember the Demon in the dungeon_. Dean stopped himself, talked slow and like never before, thought about his words that much. He looked at Jack carefully as the realization of what happened crossed his mind. He didnt even want to tell him, but again, Sam convinced him he should know the truth. Dean on the other hand argued over that plan.

He watched how both Jack and you behaved and it reminded him so much of himself and his brother. Even when he was a Demon, even when Sam was a blood junki, they didnt saw the other as anything but their brother.

  
_Listen, she managed to do it again wich saved her but to do things like that, to kill things like that. It doesnt leave you so easy. However that doesnt make her a bad person....or you_.  
On Deans words, Castiel came closer and layed a hand on Jacks shoulder, feeling his memories of the innocent man wich got killed by him, incidentally.

_What do you think i can do?_

_Give her a bit more time and maybe then Sam can..._

_No Cas thats not really helping here. You dont give someone time to go down such a dark road. She is disturbed and probably shocked and the longer youre in that state the worse it gets._ Dean knew what he talked about and Sam approved with a nod to Castiel.  
_Let me take care of her._

_Dean._ Sams voice made him turn and for a moment he thought he heard dissaproval in it. But his mind once again tricked him.  
_You know what will be best._ His brother reassurement was the first time he was secure about his plan. Wandering around the last weeks like a lost puppy was pure cruelty and that he was finally back home now was not his achievement. So the only thing to do for him was fix the last bit. And he knew what to do. He rebuilt his borther so often, was it as kids when a thunderstorm came down or when he was on the edge of dying. So many times it was almost a routine and only differed from time to time. But he had to be sensitive for once here and so he recalled all the things that happened with you.  
Music, you liked that. Hot chocolate and blankets where the obvious ones and food. However that wasnt really likely here, remembering the week where Sam didnt even eat his favourite mix of leaves and healthy stuff.  
He dug deeper in his memories when he walked slowly down the corridor to your room.  
**_Her uncle would be a main point to avoid. And no alcohol._**

**_Cas. Hey!_ **

**_I apologize Dean._ **

**_No wait its actually....can you help me a little bit with this brainstorming thing._ **

**_As i said no alcohol. She seems to get uneasy even at the slightest smell of it._ **

**_Yea i figured that, anything else._ **

__**I noticed she wasnt in favor of anything wich involved touching.  
  
Well, that could get tricky.**

**_But it is also for your safety, maybe the reason is her uncontrolled power. She could be afraid of it and herself. However i cant tell exact and true infos as long as she refuses to let me in her mind._ **

**_Hey thats already more than i would have found out. Thanks Cas._ **

**_There is no problem as you would say._ **

**_No im serious, if you ever need something just talk to me, ok?_ **

**_Ok Dean._** Cas felt like Dean sounded suspiciously emotional but he thought about how he might just be nervous about what he should do with those imformations. As long as Cas already watched over Dean he was never the type to openly care, but now that he did, it made him feel like he got back to a somewhat peaceful live of. Just hunting things. Case after case.

And indeed he felt like he was pretty close to a normal routine. Hunting. Saving lives . Going back home. But this feeling of leaving something undone haunted him. Even when he saw Gabriel leaning next to your door and making a move towards him, he was conviced he knew what to do.

_Hey squirell, nice that youre back but i dont think you can help here. Go get touchy feely with your angel._

After the perfect execution of an eyeroll Dean answered him. _I would tell you to shut up but go and talk to Cas and fill in your infos._ _I dont think you got the news._ He talked obviously serious to raise a bit of panik in him because it was the only way to get him away from your door, only leaving this peace of wood between him and you.  
The more seconds passed the more unsure he was of his first steps, but there was no going back. He wiped his insecurity away with a deep inhale and held his breath as he knocked on your door. Even when he didnt had to wait for a response because your door already swung slowly open, the sight of you was crushing.  
You still looked unchanged and sat stiff on the edge of your bed, staring at an undefined spot on the wall opposite of you. Your feet still bled from the shards of glass and your dress was torn apart at the chest. Dean guessed from a hit to it as blue tainted skin shined through. He exactly knew how to heal it but it would get rather difficult with the fact that he couldnt touch you.  
In order not to shock you he tried to reach you with the normal, most unthreatening words he could possibly think of.

_Hey little girl. Its just me, noone else, ok?_ No reaction at all from you, not even blinking.  
_I wanted to check in on ya, i._....Dean sighed as he realised he wasnt going to come far when he talked like his normal behaviour.  
_I wanted to check on you, maybe take care of your wounds if you want that. I promise you i know what i do, if you would know how many times i stitched up Sam. Countless._  
He saw how nothing really got to you. Not even when he moved closer you flinched or moved on your own. Dean only got more frustrated but decided not to give up. However he had to go more offensive and take that risk.  
_Look at me Y/N, come on i know you can._  
Only slowly your eyes wandered to his and it nearly broke a part off of him when he saw nothing behind them, not the slightest reaction. You saw how far you were gone. He saw how far those memories dragged you away to the darkest places he only knew too well.  
_You probably wont like it but i have to take care of you since no angel mojo can heal you really and..and because...listen, you did so much for my family, for Sam, Cas and Jack. Hell even Gabriel and Lucifer. And now its my turn. If you let me._  
Finally. You blinked. It was a long one and looked like you exhaled on the inside.  
 _Thats great. Ok lets get in the bathroom, i probably have to bandage your feet or they will infect themself. Do you want to stand up or..._  
The only answer he got was you, slowy leaning foward against his chest, letting your hair fall in down in your face. He tried not to twitch, still vividly remembering the things you were capable off. But this was different. You didnt care what happened to you and didnt try to defend yourself. There was no will for fighting in you, but that made it Deans aim to put it back where it belonged.

_I got it, lets get going._ He barely touched your face when he put the strands of hair back behind your ears, but let your head stay leaned against his chest so he could pick you up bridal style with ease. He already carried his whole unconcious moose of a brother through a forrest at night so this wasnt really a challenge. But to see you so detached from yourself made his arms kind of weak so he just looked where to go and was careful not to hit your head on any corners.  
As soon as you were in the bathroom he searched for a place to comfortably lay you down but it was quite of a challenge when you didnt intercact with him. After a little bit of spinning around Dean decided on the bathtub where your legs could dangle over the edge and he could easily reach them.  
At least the tub was cold and your burning hands could grip on the rim of it to cool them down. You still felt the things you did with them vividly but tried to save yourself from the pain if it would reach you one more time. There was no point in going back to your memories but the trust and control you had in yourself was gone after you murdered those creatures in serial killer style. You just couldnt go away from them when every moment crossed by your eyes so vividly.  
However, you suddenly felt another sensation besides your slow beating, almost stopping heart.  
Dean had applied a bit of pressure to your ankles to keep the blood from further flowing and the pain from not being so hard. Still he underistemated how deep the shards went inside your sole, but it got visible when he pulled out the first few. The new pain was a kind of detachment from your state of mind and brought you back, piece by sharp piece. You couldnt say it felt good, it still was pain, however when you didnt do it to yourself and could let your lost control slip into someone elses hands. Deans hands so be exact. And after all you heard and all he did you trusted him to know what would be the best and worst for you, because with all of this mess inside of you, your measurements went pretty far off track.

_Hey kid_. Deans voice seemed to be evoked by something but you couldnt pinpoint it.  
_Im gonna get you some meds and be right back._ You tried to frown but realized your face was already scrunched up. Thats was probably what made Dean know the pain was quite strong.  
_Its ok. Even Sam once cried because he got shot in the shoulder. And one pill should be enough._  
The small joke gave you somewhat of a kick and you managed to shake your head slightly.  
_Ok two pills it is._ He picked up the bloddy towel and went off to get them from the next room.  
It almost looked like he teleported because you blinked once and he was already back. Or your conciousness was just really fucked up. Yea, probably that.  
_Told you i would be right back._ With a little smirk he kneeled down beside the tub and gave the two white little, tic-tac looking pills, to you. Unfortunately they didnt taste like that. But at least the first one kicked right in and your feet got tingly and more and more light. Dean quickly pulled out the rest and wrapped your feet up in multiple bandages.  
_As much as i like your dress its probably not really comfortable dont you think._  
You slowly blinked as an answer.  
_Maybe Cas could zap you into something wich doesnt looks like it will strangle you in your sleep, huh?_  
Again, a slow blink and even a little bit of a nod.

**_Hey Cas, she said yes, would you mind?_ **

And there it was again. Your favourite long, white, and cotton smooth nightdress wich reached down past your kness, covering you comfortably and finally letting some air back in your lungs. The fresh air made you more sleepy but before your head could hit something you were being picked up again.

_Alright i see, its bedtime. Lets go_.

Dean was rather proud of how he maintained calm and steady for you the whole time. Most of the time he was worried or sad or mainly angry at himself when he let something happen to someone but this time there was no place for more of those thoughts. He didnt want to stress your mind even more...literally.

As the both of you stood infront of your door and Dean tried to kick it open a small psst from behind made him change directions. Sam, who sat on the largest couch of the small library called out to Dean, waving at him to come in and lay you down next to him. First he hesitated as he didnt want to disrupt the trust you put into him by putting you into a random place wich was not your bed but Sam held something up wich would sure be in your favour. A large, fuzzy, dark green blanket.  
_Perfect_. Dean whispered in order not to wake you again. _I think the meds already kicked in._

_Lay her down._ Sam reached for you as Dean struggled on the last steps. He was tired as well and felt like he hadnt slept in days. But finally the sweet sensation of his body relaxing deep into the seat next to his brother spread throughout his muscles.  
Sam thightly wrapped you up first and then threw another cover to his brother.

_Do you think you can sleep?_ Sam put his all caring, trusty puppy dog expression as.

_I could sleep on the friggin floor by now. How arent you already comatose, i mean how long are you awake, like two days?_

_Is what some call being fit. It is commonly reached through exercise Dean._

_Shut up bitch._

_Jerk._ Sam snapped at him automatically, not needing to spend a second on his response anymore. Dean defeadetly layed his head back and turned it so he could still look at you, silently sleeping on a couch pillow in Sams embrace.

_How is she doing so far?_

_For what she did. Well. But it gets difficult when Cas cant heal her, hell even Gabriel cant. Do you think Jack could help?_

_Mh maybe not._ Sam looked concerned and got more silent.  
_I dont think he can help her right now and maybe will only make things worse. He is still pretty shaken up and they both try to calm him. The best argument i had was she promsied not to leave him. Jack told me Y/N already said she was now his sister. I dont know man...i ...dont know her well but..._

_I want her back too. She was the one to get us all the closest together since ever. And you didnt saw the look in her eyes man. It was like her soul was gone or she lost it in this alley._ Dean slowly shook his head to underline his words. _God, she got to me._

_Sounds like she made us all soft_. Sam chuckled at how Dean just slowly nodded with his eyes focused on a undefined spot. He was silent for a little while, just looking like he thought pretty hard about something until he said it.

_Do you even remember the last time we were hurt and Cas didnt healed us? Like, she doesnt has that option. She may be the only one to help Jack but is also so...fragile._

_Dean, stop worrying like that, ok? Where could she be safer than here. We literally have a bunker and as many save wardings as we managed to pull up. If not Chuck personally comes back, i dont think anyone can even get close to us._

_Youre right. I think._ Dean leaned back again and run his hands over the face before standing up.

_You cant ever say that to me hm?_

_No Sammy, cus im always right._ Ignoring the full on bitch face that Sam had put on, he grabbed the little, snoring pile, wich was you, and headed back to the bedroom where he put you down. Sam followed and stood leaned against the doorframe as he watched how carefully Dean put your head on the pillow. Its was a good training for him and sure as hell kept his brother in some kind of peace. Caring for others was probably the thing he did a lot but when it came down to doing so, his plans were poorly executed most of the time. On the other hand even Sam didnt know how to show his brother that he did the right thing. Dean never really listened to his assuringly meant words anyway and a pat on the shoulder wasnt quite the right thing. He kept his thoughts running on how he could do Dean a favour as long as he checked your bandages again.  
_Looks like she will be fine for the night, im gonna check on her in the morning. Have any plans for tomorrow?_  
Sam was ripped from his thoughts with the question.

_Uhmm...no..i mean yea. I gotta go shopping probably. Doesnt look like we got anything left and she will need something when she wakes up._

_What do you think she likes?_

_What?_

_You heard me. Bring something she likes. Maybe ask Jack._

_Are you okay Dean. Like its cool that you care but you dont sound like...you?_ He only now, in the light of the floor, saw the dark circles under his brothers eyes.  
_Nevermind. You know what, its ok. I will get something. Just go take a shower and go to sleep._

_Whats that suppose to mean?_ Deans expression was questioning when he looked himself down. As always he couldnt get why Sam thought showers would solve everything, however he knew he must smell like smoke and the desinfection solution.

_Nothing..nothing._ Sam turned around and headed straight to Deans room when he heard the bathroom door close, grabbing the keys of the impala. He knew Dean wouldnt let him take his baby but in this case he didnt really care that much. From time to time he just also needed to listen to his favourite songs wich he could never pick when Dean was driving.

Before he went up the stairs he went past them and down the other hall where he saw light emerge from one of the open rooms. As he got closer he could make out who slept thight under the covers and looked over to Castiel who sat on the seat beside the bed.  
_How is he doing?_

_Angry, with himself._ Cas seemed more than exhausted. _He said he could have helped her but i told him no. Humans are stubborn when it comes to achieving a goal._

_And he cant get to her?_

_Hm?_ Cas looked up, cocking his head to the side and didnt seem to get what Sam tried to tell him.

_Didnt they always talked in their head with each other?_

_Ah i understand. But no._ Sam looked back down with his hopes crushed just a little bit more.

  
_Sam the thing you feel now is the exact same as Jack does. Understand, he is desperate to get to her, but he told me, the more he tried, the further she backed away from him. I...im just glad he could finally rest or he would have destroyed something with trying too hard. Y/n told me to light candles when someone was stressed and it worked. Still i dont understand what a little source of light with the danger of burning down something would help someone fall asleep. Maybe they have a magic spell in them._

_Maybe give some of them to Dean._ Sam chuckled silent when he saw a mix of trying to figure out if he was serious and immediate dedication on his face. He however, just turned around and let him find it out by himself.

As he sneaked back down the corridor, past your room, the bathroom and the kitchen he picked up his jacket and swung it over his shoulders. But still he didnt managed to leave unnoticed. He suddenly got stopped by a sweet voice behind him as he wanted to step up the last stairs.  
_You still sneak out like a teenager Sam?_

_Shh Gabriel it has a reason. Y/n and Jack finally sleep and dont you dare to wake them._

_Make me. I seek revenge after you let me and Casandra explain Jack why people do stupid things like going alone and taking risks._

_Isnt it kinda one of your duties as an uncle?_

_Nah thats not really my job, is it? I thought Cassi and Squirrel already adopted him. But maybe the agency lost their papers or something..._  
Sams bitchface was brighter than ever before and he was done with Gabriels endless seek for attention as well as his bad jokes.

_Oh hey, you really think my jokes are bad?_  
He had to slightly jog behind Sam to keep up with his wide steps.  
_Dont ignore me you said i need attention._  
Sam just tried to get in the car and locked the doors as he started the engine and searched for his playlist. With a flutter of wings however his annoying company was back and he looked up from his phone into the most brightest puppy eyes wich almost challenged his own.  
_Look, all my chocolate is empty and i really think y/n wants some when she wakes up._


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You probably didnt though i would upload so soon again huh? But yea here would be a small drabble. An short break if you may say so...
> 
> Music Recommendations:
> 
> Dennis Llyod -Leftovers  
> And  
> Painting Greys- Emmit Fenn

_Where are we going. Can i vote on wallmart?  
_

_Ever heard the term shotgun shuts his cakehole?_

_Yes, but im an archangel so i think it doesnt apply on me._  
Sam stayed silent and hoped that this way, Gabe would finally stop being such a smartass.  
_Alright i will stop being such a smartass._

_Gabriel!_

_Oh please call me Gabe...or sweetheart? You can decide._ Pleased with himself he sank deeper in the leather carseat.

 _Please just stay silent for one minute. Im already up for more than two days and my head is killing me._ The pounding in his head corresponded and seemed to push even more against his head, probably trying to burst it.

 _Ok you said i should be silent but i want to remind you again of who i am..._  
He snapped his fingers and Sam felt a short rush of a bright light through his temples, lifting his heavy weighing head off his shoulders.  
He smiled even though he tried not to and looked on the street, trying to maintain somewhat of a resistance to thank him.

_Hey im driving._

_I could drive too._

_You know that Dean would kill me and then you when he would find out._

Gabe huffed at him. That sounded more like a challenge to him. He loved to mock Dean in every situation just because he was being a dick to his little brother from time to time. Cas deserved better than being pushed around by him...

_Wow when i meant you should shut up i didnt know you would actually do it. Whats wrong?_

_Oh uhm._ For the first time he felt like Sam managed to startle him and catch him off guard, so he searched for the first thing that came to his mind.  
_Just about this music and...whats that band called again?_

 _Really?_ One of his eyebrows raised incedibly high and he was convinced that that wasnt what he was thinking about, but he went with it, not trying to get behind the mind of an angel.  
_Its a mixtape. Dean made it for me when i was a child and he didnt had such a bad music taste._  
He tried for the first time to keep him talking as he realized that he didnt like Gabriel being so sheltered to himself. It didnt felt right and above all he didnt want to drag him down. He was too good for Y/n and Jack in the last weeks as he himself wasnt there for them.  
_What about you, any favourite memories from your childhood?_

_Hmmm not that i could think of anything happy at the moment. But i do have to embaress Cas with some of his baby stories, thanks for the reminder._

_There is so much brotherly love in you, i never realised._ His voice dripped from sarcasm.

 _Well not everybody can be as soft as you moose._  
In response to his maybe everlasting nickname he took an extra sharp turn with the car.  
_By my father. Just tell me how i should call you then. Human?_  
I dont think that would be really accurate as you died multiple times.  
Oh no wait i got it. Whats with honey, so everytime i can come back in the bunker i can yell im home honey.

_You do realise how stupid your jokes are._

_I do but it makes you laugh._ He was satisfied with himself as he heard Sams silent giggle and he saw him, trying to cover his grin with one hand.

**_....Some kilometers away..._ **

Cas never really felt so insecure. On the one hand he wasnt sure if Sam meant it and he should try to calm Dean and on the other hand if this was the right thing. But he reminded himself of what you said and were sure you didnt lie to him and that your advise would apply to Dean too, so he just stood in the middle of his room, pleased with the result and waiting for him to come back. And soon he heard his feet, wich stepped out of the bathroom and closer to him. Expectingly Cas turned around and watched his face as Dean opened the door and let the towel he dried his hair with, fall to the ground. His expression transformed from suprised to raised eyebrows and open mouth, but no words seemed to emerge from his brain.

 _It was a tip from Y/n. I already placed some in her room and Jacks and Sam told me you may need some too. She said it calms people._  
Still Dean didnt move and just stood there with a bit of water dripping down his face from his hair. Cas grew more uncomfortable and moved in his place a bit.  
_If you dont want them i can take them away again._ He raised his hand to snap with both of his fingers but Deans hand immediately stopped him.

_Cas._

_Yes._

_Whats this smell._

_The woman said lavender._

_Aha._ He slowly nodded and tried to decide wether he should hug this innocent angel or be frustrated that he was so unaware what he just did. He looked down at the floor and his few shelfs wich he could clearly see because every corner was lit up by a single candle.  
_Couldnt they..i dont know..burn down?_

_No i have them all under control._

_Aha. Dont you think they are a little bit too bright for me to sleep?_ He tried his best to find a legitimate reason to make them dissapear and not hurt him in the process.

 _Yes i can see what you mean._ As he looked around the room some of them vanished, letting the room only barely lit up.  
_Better?_

 _Yea .... yea._ Again he slowly nodded, watching the last of them flicker.

 _Anything else i can help you with?_ Deans eyes switched to his again.

 _No not that i can think of anything. I mean do **you** need any...thing? _ He was still trying to focus on keeping any kind of posture as the quite open stare of Cas layed on him.

_No._

_Really? Dont lie dude you can tell me._

_No i am quite happy with the events. Jack and Y/n seem to get bet.._

The sudden hug from Dean startled Castiel as he was never sure how to react to such open kindness from him, just because he saw it so rarely, not because he didnt like it. So he also responded in wrapping his arms around him.

_This feels quite nice._

_I know. Thats why humans do it Cas._

_Can you do this more often?_

Now Dean was startled. So he did need something, even if it was that small of an act.  
_Yes man sure. Whatever you want._ He held him an arm length away and must have looked quite happy because Cas answered with quirky smile himself. _You know you did an awesome job with Jack, right?_

 _I can only return your compliment. As i heard from Sam you didnt like him in the beginning._ Dean looked down and felt horrible as he remembered how hard he was on him, even though he was practically a baby. But Cas intention wasnt to let him feel bad, it was actually quite the opposite.  
_But look at him now. He found someone to trust just as much as you do Sam._

_Hey dont say that, i trust you too and also..._

_Oh i know...i know._

And with a flutter of wings he dissapeared, leaving the room in total darkness as the last of the candles went out.

_Son of a bitch..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope i catched the characters quite good.  
> Btw let me know if i made someones day by uploading two chapters and earlier than before bc my day started pretty shitty.  
>  \\(•_•*)/


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doesnt anyone need a small breakdown from time to time?
> 
> Music Recommendations:  
> I need a win- unlike pluto

**~the following night~**

 

**_You failed._ **

It became your mantra for the minutes wich followed, making sure only you could hear it. You were trying to reach anything else but that feeling of feeling nothing. Not the light graze over the concrete walls nor the heavy steps on the treadmill seemed to get through to you. Your body was locked down and numb from any sensation wich tried to come through and it made you crazy, second by agonizing second.  
You couldnt tell anymore if sweat or tears covered your vision as you became more and more unaware of what you were punching now. You started off with the box sack, letting you focus on you arm movements but the gloves held back any pain wich should have come by now as you were already thirthy minutes in the training room. You didnt understand why it didnt work. You hit things. There should be a reaction. Your skin should tell you that if you would continue there will be blood or pain. But it seemed like your mind was capable of shutting off everything wich your body was trying to signal you. You saw the blue prints wich formed on your knuckles and your armes trembling but there was no intention of you to stop.  
**_Because you failed._**  
Through the sweat wich now covered your whole body a rush of adrenaline inside you went off.  
You tensed and your breathing got hitched as you started to hit the wall. You were so angry, dissapointed, sad, tired, confused and it was all topped with desperation. This world dragged you into something you didnt understand the meaning of. You didnt understand your meaning in this, your function. And it felt terrible to feel so weak and confused again. Your whole arms now tried to break down the wall wich was still under your attack. There was no sound from the punches and the wall didnt move an inch from you so your sobbing only became louder in the room, filling it with your cries. You felt how the wall became soft and different in texture.  
As your eyes opened they looked into Lucifers wich were filled with...sadness.

 _Stop Y/n._ He held your wrists so you didnt tear his shirt apart completly.

 _You dont know whats going on you werent here._ Your voice sounded terrible but you didnt care. _I gave everything and it wasnt enough i didnt make it. I saw him. I watched him all the time._

 _Stop crying. Y/n tell me what you mean._ You were shocked and held back by his calmness wich just raged you more and a storm in you awoke. You started to grab anything wich was near you and threw it to the floor. First it hit a bottle of water, then weights and following that various drawers. They flew around the room and all without the help of any angel. But it draw the attention of them. First one, than two. And with them three other people wich you didnt want to see.  
_Tell us what you mean. We cant help you like that._ He took some steps near you, trying not to get hit by anything wich was nearly impossible because you especially aimed on him. Still he wasnt impressed by anything you did. It drived you mad.

 _The problem is that nothing happened. I didnt do anything._  
You stormed past them like in a rush and everyone stumbled back, granting you entrance to your room. You heard mumbling behind you but discarded it. They didnt had a single clue what was going on. And you didnt had too, until you opened the case when you woke up. It felt like a bad joke.

Black and shiny, right in front of them you cracked it open again. The lock was quickly disabled with a hammer from you and revealed what drived you into insanity.  
Everybody was now gathered in your room, only Jack stood still in the doorway. They all stared at the suitcase and their realization layed down heavy in the room. Only your breathing sound was left in the small room.  
Two small containers neatly arranged in the black satin filled with blood.

And three indents.

  
_I was so close. I had him in my hands. I missed something._  
You let yourself fall on the bed and fisted your hands in the sheets, trying to keep you away from any walls, punching them. Something inside you shook your whole body and a tremble rushed through your nerves, unstoppable. You felt tears coming again but now that everyone could see your face you didnt want to show them. With your knees against your forehead you squeezed your legs thighter against your body, not caring about how they silently cracked under your arms.  
You thought nothing could get you out of this constant circle of falling back in your past memories and then getting pushed in this life, this real life, where your failure waited for you. You didnt expect anyone to move, so the feeling of touch shocked you more than anything. It was so light, you thought it was your imagination playing with you.

 _Your mind isnt what you think. Its no deadly disease._  
A silent wisper woke you up from the shivers wich still spread through your bones. Something brushed your hair, trying to get the knots out of them.  
It was a rather intelligent move and Jack looked up to the others who where stunned by his actions. Everyone was insecure by now and didnt try to rage you anymore, but Jack didnt seem to care. He remembered how dangerous he could be, how he could distroy anything with a wink of his hand but even when he was like this and right on the edge of something terrible, you werent affected by this power. You just did what you thought was right, and now it was his turn.  
He kept trying to brush through your hair until he reached your head, letting his eyes slowly glow up to connect with you again for the first time in what felt like ages for him. He saw the choas like something ran through you and threw everything out of order.  
 _Remember yourself. Take yourself to the start where we began, do you remember our training?_  
You looked up in his bright glowing eyes, not seeing how yours lighted up the same way. You felt his grace finding his way through your body, letting you lead it, giving you the power for a reorder. This mess was out of control for too long but you didnt want to take advantage of his power. You always told yourself you were too strong to break up like this.  
**_You are strong but its ok to get help. I also took help from you, now take mine._**  
Everything on its way started to feel warm and soothing, lighting up even the darkest places until he drew his hand away and you were back in the room, looking in multiple pairs of eyes. You suddenly felt light and kind of floaty again. It was like you found yourself and with that, your humor and sarcasm. You just now had to find a way to get out of this horrible scenario featured and made-by-you and you felt like a dork by now. Even though you didnt like being totally detached from your feelings and in this dark hole of nothingness it was better than sitting akward in the middle of your room with everyone staring at you. Although your plan to silently weep in a shower about your failure extended to a full on rage mode break down from the upper class, it helped you faster to get back to your job. And still you were a girl and allowed to do such things and go crazy from time to time, right?

 _Wow im such a drama queen. I would have slapped myself by now.._ You put on your best suprised expression and wiped your face off with your covers. _Why again did you decided to keep me?_  
You heard Deans laugh and the whole room seemed to move again.

 _Believe me when i tell you, we fixed worse than this. I mean i killed hitler once. So this is almost no problem._ A really serious “are you kidding” emerged from Sams lips like a stored response. As you tried to stand up and grab a hairband to fix your hair the tiniest bit, you finally realised how hungry you were and everything in you screamed for a glass of water. But you didnt mind that much as it felt good to finally feel like a normal human-like functioning form, wich just craved anything edible.  
Jack seemed be with you and heard what your only thought was right now.

_We should all eat something, right Cas?_

_Of course._ Cas still didnt seemed to be sure so Dean went foward to lead him because he looked like he just about forgot where the kitchen was located. You could only hear Dean trying to explain to him a bit what was going on and it sounded like something along the lines of humans being moody. Sam who followed close behind looked at you one last time and you nodded in response reassuring him that you catched yourself again. It was not easy to be so optimistic but who could resist a nephilims negotiation and optimism. It was like he didnt let you being negative wich was both frustrating and uplifting. You didnt even know anymore why you had such a breakdown and it seemed borderline ridiciolous when you looked back.

 _I have my arguments from Dean you know._ He still sat on the bed but now with crossed legs.  
_Sometimes he lies but sometimes he means it. He is really good in finding a way._

Lucifer seemed to be done here with his endless happyness and just signed off with a frustrated sigh.

 _No shame in helping brother...or being nice._ Gabriels voice almost dripped of satisfaction as he found a weak point in his sibling.  
_Look you just did a good thing. Does it burn your eyes to see this?_

_Gabe. Youre not really helping._

_I know, but look at him. All soft. I should have taken photos of his face and send him them from time to time, i mean..._

_Gabe._ You looked at him the most accusing way you could make up, but still giggled a bit. _Try not to remind him of it too often._

 _I promise only every hour._ He raised one hand to his heart and the other one in the air. You shook your head at him and looked down, only to see you still wore your white night dress, now partly seethrough and wet.

_Oh Gabe before we go..uhm.. would you mind._

He turned around on the little stairs and reached out his hand for you.  
_Im one step ahead already, come on._  
You looked down again and were put in a flowy black skirt and a nice red flannel. As you looked in the mirror you saw he didnt just stop there. You face looked fresh and kind of glowly and your hair was smoothed out and..fresh washed.

 _Wow, damn._  
Before you could complain, wich you werent even about to do he answered your silent question.

 _It was time to change it up a bit, hm? Letting old things behind._ However, before it could get too serious or emotional he snapped back. _Literally. Jeans are so last summer._

 _Did you hear me complaining?_ You looked at Jack for confirmation but he didnt seemed to have catched on with the quick conversation. You were sorry for him as he looked startled and tried to come up with an answer.  
_Oh it...its ok Jack lets just get going, im on the edge of starving._

You reached out for Gabes hand and grabbed it tight, waiting for a second if something would happen. Something you were more than afraid of, but somehow you already forgot how it had felt like. But also the squeeze of his hand reassured you more than any words as he pulled you behind him. You took a quick glance back to Jack and saw him, jumping up from your bed and being focused to get as fast as possible to the impossibly good smell that reached to the both of your noses.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought i would go downhill from here, dont cha?? But no, i just think sometimes its better to let it all out before going back in /(.-.)\


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here my beans, have a longer chapter with happy things in them. (*~*)/*
> 
> Music Recommendations:  
> Drifter- hippie sabotage

You came into the kitchen, hearing a discussion that probably only recently started. But you couldnt quite make out what it was about until you entered.  
_Whats the matter guys, more drama? Im in!_  
You laughed, now your mental breakdown far away and almost forgotten.

_No, just._.. Dean tried his best to look pleadingly.. _.i had the idea we would go out, get some food in a nice restaurant from here?_

_Dean i just went shopping yesterday._

_But you forgot the pie._ He looked back to me. _You also would like to go right?_ You laughed about how he just sounded like Jack when he wanted chocolate.

_I mean im starving and would take anything. But dont you think its not quite right to go out and relax after.._

You got immediately stopped by both Gabe and Cas before your mind could even finish that sentence.  
_No, Yn. Look they already had worse and made more fun of that. Its just a small backlash, nothing we cant fix. Right Cassy?_

_Yep. Even worse since you werent there._

_But i watched so i pretty much know the gist of wh..._  
Before the discussion between the brother and the other brothers could get too heated you looked at Jack who nodded your way. Damn. He just always knew what you wanted from him, it was terrifyingly soothing both at the same time.

_Hey, if you want to go before everythings closed we should go now. I guess we could all need some free time._ You leaned relaxing against the doorframe and looked to Dean again wich eyes glowed up so beautifully green when you accepted.  
_Have anything in mind where we could go this late?_

_There is this great restaurant, burgers, fries, salats for the ladies._ He cooed and looked challenging in Sams direction who just rolled his eyes in a perfect half circle and as far back as he could probably manage.

_Sounds great, i would say lets go then._ After hesitating for some seconds, the others followed you and spread out to get their Jackets, keys, money and else. So you were left waiting with the Angels in the hall.

_Dont you guys think we should go get Lucifer too? Isnt he human and maybe needs some food?_

_Oh i gave him those fish bites. He will live._

_Gabe stop being such a grumpy to your brother...right? He is your brother?_

_Yes of course just as Cas, but Cassandra didnt murder me._

_Gabriel._ Cas tried to give him a calm look wich just came off as his everyday bitch face. _He is a dick but also powerless, unable to mess around._

You indignantly took a sharp inhale. _I didnt know you could cuss like that Cas. Not infront of children._ You playfully put both your hands over Jacks ears and shook your head at them.

_Oh its ok, i learned already every single one of them from you and Dean._

_Fair enough._ You pulled your hands away again and resigned. _I do cuss the most here, but its so freeing. I once read the bible and probably commented only well..you know..bad words. Everything sounded so boring and i dont wanna say dumb but...stupid._

_That comes from our dad being a total drama queen and a horrible writer. He tends to overreact and exagerate on the most parts. Only some things are really true to reality, like the one that says Lucinda is a douchebag._

_Oh come on Gabriel, youre better than that._ Sam entered the room, followed by Dean and dressed with his brown leather Jacket.

_Right, its pretty cold outside still. Would you mind?_ You looked at Gabriel in the most pleading way as you didnt want to ask him for more. You already were given so much from him, because you still didnt come around to go shopping. Or to go outside. Or to get money. But there you already had a trechcoat around your shoulders, just like Cas but in a more sandy tone.  
You turned around to him, suprised but thankful.

_Hey Cassi, are you becoming a fashion designer or what?_ Gabriel looked both proud and pouty as he usally liked it to dress me up.  
Cas just nodded, pleased with himself and looked me up and down.

_Sorry to ask you to always do this._ You trailed with your hand along the knee long fabric and slipped inside the pockets with both of your hands.

_Well maybe we even get around to shop for you and Jack. You could both need something from the newest collection._ Gabriel threw his hair back in the most fashion designer manner.  
_You both would look great in scarfs and anything but those flannels. And with that im not meaning them._ He pointed at both Sam and Dean behind their back as you were already on the way to the garage. You and Jack only giggled silent and Sam took a quick glance at us, wondering. But immediately Gabriel put on his most innocent face, acting like if he would intensly stare at the motor bikes and old cars he walked by until you all reached the black impala.

_Wow_. You were visibly impressed by how smooth and shiny the black surface was, reflecting all the lights in the garage like a disco ball. But not only on the outside it looked stunning, also the inside with the leather seats looked sleek and refined. Probably Deans work as you could tell from his proud expression he followed you with, as you sneaked around the car.  
_Im really impressed, but it could get a bit tight in there when someone isnt going to sit in the trunk._

_Actually i thought about me and Gabriel showing Jack the angel transportation method, so he can test try on a short distance._

_So he wont fail so much like me huh._ You hid your sudden insecurity with a failed joke, wich only dragged you more down. Plus that, you were sad that you werent the first one to introduce Jack to this side of his powers. But still you literally felt how Jacks endless optimism put you in a good mood again.  
_**Cant you ever just let me be sad when i want to.**_

_**No, i cant. I wont ever again.**_ He smiled in the most warm way, and with that mirrored Gabriel who looked like he personally wanted to raise your head up again.

_Hey when we are at the restaurant remember me to tell you about how horribly Cas failed his first try._ Cas boxed him in the side but that didnt quite do it to make him stop. _Let me just tell you he was so far away from his aim, he landed in another timeline. It was hilarious to see him, trying to fight in Sparta with only a speer. And with that i mean only a speer._  
You raised your eyebrows at both of them and were suddenly more than satisfied to hear that story later as a reward.

_Ok guys then lets get going or im gonna drive without you._ Dean, who already sat in the driver seat winked at you and tried to get Sam to move in. Only barely he passed the edges and shoved his mountain heigh into the passengers seat.  
_I should have yelled shotgun._ You said it to yourself but still Sam reassured you that on the ride back the front seat would be all yours.  
_I guess._ You turned around to Jack and gave him a reassuring smile, to let him not only in his thoughts know, that he would do great.  
_**You have great assistance let me tell you. Just do me the favor and look out for Gabriel, who knows where he will go**._

_Hey._ Gabriel half heartely yelled. But you discarded it and sat yourself in the cushiony backseat bank of the impala, already hearing the engine howl. You immediatly got pushed into your place as Dean darted out of the Bunker through a dark tunnel, wich only got lit by some old lamps on the ceiling. You just managed to look back for a second and saw how Jack waved at you until Cas layed a hand on his shoulder and dissapeared.  
You honestly couldnt express what it felt like when they had gone out of your sight only seconds ago but the comfortable feeling you had in your mind when they were around just seemed to vanish. And with that, you broke out in sweat and scooted back in your seat, trying to keep as silent and unnoticable as possible. It was the only way to not let you think of the other times you sat in a car like this wich never ended good at the finish of any hunt with your uncle. But you tried for once to control yourself and took a deep breath, learning the differences between this car and the half truck of your uncle. This one smelled not really like beer or smoke and more like wood and a forrest like scent. It was warm and light with the interior that heated up, not like the, for some reason wet and scrapped up, backseat of the rolling box of car. All together it took you back to a somewhat peaceful state and you opened your eyes to see the dark road infront of you wich got lit up by the warm light of the car. You replaced yourself and leaned against the window, but your movement seemed to have awaken the attention of the front seats.  
_Everything alright back there? Youre warm already._

_Totally Dean, everythings dandy._

_You sure? Want me to turn down the music so you can sleep a bit?_

_No no. Im more than right awake and i slept for a day already. I cant always be unconcious when im with you guys._

A slow giggle came from both of them and Sam turned around in his seat to look at you. You wanted to make it a bit easier on him and leaned foward between them, looking a bit closer at the steering wheel as Sam searched for something on his phone to show you. You turned your head and squinted your eyes at the bright screen.  
_Whats this._ You took his handy from his hands and leaned back in your seat to scroll down the site you were looking at. It was all about something you didnt had a single clue about.

_Yea whats this again?_ You couldnt quite figure out what those words meant, nor the weird symbols that flicked by you from time to time.

Sam and Dean looked at each other and then both back to you. _Ok so listen, not that i think you should actually get any kind of weapon in your hands, but you might have to help us again and if so, we want you to be protected. So this is a little site we discovered over time. It lets us communicate with some other hunters and buddies we got to know._ Dean took a sharp turn before he continued speaking. You got swished to the side but kept staring on the screen.  
_And if you find anything interesting, just tell us and we will see if we can get that. From there i already got my little baby in the back. A beauty of a granate against zombies._

_Ok but nothing like this for you, were talking maybe knifes or something like that. Maybe look for something which goes against Demons or other creatures or more universal stuff, that would be the most helpful._

_Are you serious? And then what? It gets delivered per Ups and the package says careful, sharp and stabby?_ You tried to sound as sarcastic as possible to hide your out of control exitment and thankfulness somehow. You tried your best not to squeak and hug them right there and then. Who would let you even have weapons and tell you you can hunt? For sure not the one specific person you actually never want to talk about again.

_Not exactly. A friend of us collects them most of the time and then brings them over for us. He knows most of the sellers and can get us more infos about stuff thats been going on lately._

_And i can just pick one?_

_No you cant._ Dean visibly raised his eyebrows and looked like a angry parent..almost like when he talked to Jack. _No guns or bombs ok? Thats nothing for you._ Sam cocked an eyebrow at him and probably said something along the lines of “not for you either” but you didnt quite get it. You were already knee deep in different chats about various knifes and other handy relicts. From time to time there also popped up personal messaged from Sam wich you ignored until they came more and more obnoxious. You swiped down to get on overview of who wrote him so often, only to see it was Gabriel, sending a mass ton of smileys. You went back to searching for something that fit you until he texted again.

_Hey Sam, Gabriel is texting you._

_What does he say._

_Quote. Hey moose what takes so long? Were already in inside and waiting for you, kiss Honey. End quote._ You tried to read it as matter of factly as possible but couldnt help to grin halfway through. It sounded so much like Gabriel, always seeking attention.

_Just..just ignore him. He always does that._ Sam brushed his hair back as cool as he were able to do it.

_You say what?_ Dean looked questioning but amused and probably saved that fact for later to annoy him with it.

_He does the same with me and Jack. Dont tell me he never texted you late night messages?_ You tried to help Sam who repostioned uncomfortably under the stare of his brother. But Dean looked back on the road after you made a point and just turned up the volume of the music. You leaned against your seat again and let the different offers suck you right back into this exiting, digital world, trying to find the best weapon from all of them.  
It almost felt like you were in a trance, because you couldnt tell how long you were driving, but the bright neon writing of a house woke you up again.

_We arrived at our destination. We hope you enjoyed your ride and look foward to another trip with you._ You gave Sam his phone back after deciding on your items and shook your head at Deans dumb jokes.  
You opened your side of the Car and stepped out, the cold night air hitting your face just right. The light wind however grazed around your bare knees and you pulled your trenchcoat tighter around, following the brothers through the parking lots and other cars. You soon all reached the entrance and a nice smell of burgers and fries welcomed you, as well as a live band that played silently on a small stage next to the bar. It was really nice exept for the heavy biker boys, all equipped with different drinks, that sat on the barstools. It startled you for a second and you stood still, but Dean immediatley picked up on you and lead you safely to the table where the others waited.

_Hey, Jack._ When you saw him you didnt thought about the bikers anymore and the comfy feeling came back. _How did it go, are you alright?_

_Of course, it took me a while to get here but Cas said thats normal._

_Yea nothing to worry about, it took him three hundred years to figure it out for the first time._ Gabriel cooed at Castiel and poked him with his elbow when the three of you sat down on the round bench in a barely lit back corner of the restaurant.  
_Thats nothing to be ashamed of though._

_I am not. I didnt had any help and my wings werent that strong when i was an infant._

_Keep calm buddy. Lets see what we got here, you want anything?_

_Dean i dont need to eat._

_But you could, and its my treat anyway so at least look at the cart. Its not poisoned, promise._ Dean grinned back at Cas eyes who squinted at him. However he let go and dived into the cart like we all did. Only after seconds you found a burger and a nice salat wich sounded more than delicious. You almost started drooling when the waitress wouldnt have come up and take your order one after another. You just shortly wondered why Dean followed Sam with a glass of water because you quickly skipped through the beverages to find something that suited you.  
_I will have a tea please._

_Of course honey, just tell the barkeeper what you want._ She nodded in the direction of the woman wich stood behind the bar, currently serving a guy wich only recently came into the door, already obviously drunk.

_Gotcha_. You stood up as she walked to serve another table and you looked out for place around the bar where wether the biker guys, nor the drunk dude stood. You decided on one corner and leaned a bit over the counter to get her attention.

  
_Hey, what can i do for you._

_Uhm i would like a tea, maybe a fruity one._ You gave her a half heartedly smile as to not look too shy.

_Of course, just gimme a sec._ She dried of the glass she had in her hands and went back to the kitchen through a swing door, leaving you waiting.  
You took some of the chips wich stood beside you to keep you busy somehow and turn down the loud grumbling, hungry noises wich emerged from time to time. But therefore, you didnt saw the drunk guy, slowly and swayingly approaching you, almost yelling near your ear.

_Eye sweet gurl what are you doing here so late, dont tell me you have nothing else to do._

You were only startled for a second but quickly turned into a rather angry state. You didnt want to deal with any douchebag right now, you wanted to eat...peacefully. _Shut the hell up and go the fuck away. My business is none of yours._

_No one talks like that with such a dirty mouth you slut._ And at this point he knew, he fucked up. As he tried to grab your ass, a ten times larger hand than his grabbed his wrist and turned it until a crack was heard.

_You probably dont belong here, am i right?_ You turned around on your seat and had to lift your head impossibly high up to look the grey haired, bulky guy in the eyes. For your suprise, they looked at you soft and caring.

The guy answered his question, wich was probably not meant like one, with a whimper as he tried to pull back from him. To your luck however, the man didnt let him go until he dragged him to the entrance on the other side and borderline threw him out with just one arm. You were more than impressed to say the least.

_Oh was it Derek again? Thanks guys for keeping care of him._ The waitress who just came back smiled warm at the other guys wich sat by the side and watched the one, who came back to his seat.

_Wow_. You could only stutter those words and a silent “thank you” as you yourself didnt want to get in trouble with them. But in matter of seconds they all started to smile at you like there were little kids. _Remind me to not ever get with you in a fight guys._ Your sudden self esteem shocked you and you quickly bit your lip. _**I just came out of this, why are you dragging yourself in?**_

_Oh we dont fight with ladies, we want to do it for them. Taylor here doesnt like anyone being disrespected._ He nodded at the guy who took care of this Derek for you and he shook his head.  
_Some guys just never learn the ruled, ya know. **I hate those dicks.**_

You looked into his eyes wich were fixed on the drink that the waitress placed infront of him. You searched for any sign of blackness, ready to call for backup but there wasnt even the tiniest bit. Still you could hear how his thoughts rambled and he thought of his wife. A bit of sadness crossed his mind at the memories of her and you felt what must have happened to her. Before you retreated back to the others you grabbed the cup of hot water with the teabag swimming inside and scooted a bit closer to him. He let his head hanging and you got even more dissapointed in yourself that you judged him on his outside appearance.  
_Youre the best, and your wife nows. Woman always know everything._ You winked and grinned so wide it almost hurt your face as you saw his, turning from a suprised to a happy one. And did you saw his eyes tearing up a bit?  
Maybe, but you couldnt tell as your eyes darted to his hand who removed one of the red bandanas from his jacket and wrapped it around your lower arm. You looked up at him again, unsure if you should accept it.

_If you ever come across some douche like that again and noone like us is near you, make sure to hit him with this arm. Its your stronger side._

Your eyes widened and sparkled from anticipation as you already saw in your head how the next dude would get knocked out in one hit.  
_Thank you._

_No problem, little girl._ You would have spoken back, but he was two head taller than you so you just discarded your sarcastic comment for once and walked back to the others who seemed to be involved in a heated discussion.  
You sat beside Jack, careful not to tip over your glass and leaned over.  
**_Hey what was the matter?_**

**_Nothing, nothing, just problems with the water. Whats the matter with them?_** You really tried to figure out what they were talking about but you didnt understood a thing.

_**They wanted to discuss how they should find the rest of the blood, but they arent quite sure.**_ You shook your head. **_Yea right, that was that. Almost forgot._**

Gabriel seemed to have noticed that you came back and punched Sam in the side who huffed at him angrily, but soon stayed silent as he realised you were back.

_Ha, so we won._ Dean felt like the silence of Sam was a acceptance of his win. _Cas should use angel radio to find out if the others have any hints._

_I dont wanna sound dumb, but angel radio? Whats that about._ You imagined some kind of trucker machine and just many angels who reffered to themselves as trucker-with-wings or gods-servant-twohundert. But it was none of that.

_No it was created as a way for angels to communicate during difficult times. I use it rarely but it could help. The danger could be that others may aswell catch onto it..._

_But you said everything has been silent._

_Squirrel, so is a shark, but its still deadly. He doesnt sing his own themesong when he is about to attack._ Sam smiled at his joke but also agreed.

_Its the easiest way man. I mean we can do it in the bunker, no angels can come in there anyway, but Cas can listen if they have any infos._

_Sounds good to me._ You tried to shut him in order not to rage Gabriel any more than he already was, but the waitres who came up with the food already was ahead of you. Nobody had any last thoughts on this topic for at least half an hour where everyone just stuffed their mouths, eager to finish his plate first. Even Cas ate up his whole plate and also Gabriel, who chose from the dessert card first. He didnt hesitate to choose the chocolate tart, even when Dean told him to get the pie.

After you were all finished and the bill was paid it was rather hard for you to get up again. You felt incredibly satisfied and in total bliss. Never before you had the chance to chose what you ate and then also eat whenever you wanted it and not in the middle of the night before a hunt.  
You called out shotgun before Sam could even think to get in the front seat and closed the door, watching how Gabe, Cas and Jack vanished infront of your eyes. It didnt felt as bad this time as you knew he was always safe with them. And maybe because Gabriel knew if anything would happen to him, his angels wings would get fried personally by you. You heard the others climbing in and put on your seatbelt as you took out the little ipod you always had with you in a pocket. You turned it on to search for the right playlist as it started to rain again, but Deans voice stopped you before you could put the headphones in.  
_Here_. He lifted up a tiny, black cable.  
_I wanna hear what your best hits are._

_Really? I dont think what i listen to is your style. Or anyones for that matter._ You thought of the more alternative style some of your favourite bands had and questioned if he or Sam could like that. But he insisted.

_No, i heard Sammys podcasts for a whole trip and nothing can top that._  
Sam didnt even bother snapping back as he was already on his phone again, tipping. You resigned and put the music on silent, still scared and full of doubt that a classic rock guy like him would enjoy more smooth and calm rythms. But you were fooled as you saw how he even turned the volume up and repeated some songs by himself. You were impressed as you would have never guessed, that he would accept it just like that. However you reminded yourself of the biker guys and finally learned your lesson to not judge people too quickly.

And you were even more stunned about what you had done when you were back in the bunker. Right before everyone signed off for the day and went on to sleeping or something more angel like, Dean called for you from his room.  
_Y/n?_

_Yea?_ You lightly pushed the door open and saw Dean, sitting on his laptop, wich lit up his face.

_The music weve been listening to, on your ipod. Do you have it with you?_  
Of course you had, you always did.

_Here._ You threw the more than light box in his hand and he connected it to the computer. You scooted behind and looked him over the shoulder, pointing out all the songs you had played in the car.

_Anything else? More recommendations._

_Hmm i think the rest would just be all over the place. Unless you like electro?_

_No no. Not to offend you but im not quite the biggest fan unless its a electro guitar._

_I feel you, but maybe these ones could be for you._ You dragged a playlist with soft rock over the screen to another folder and added it to his phone.  
_There, if you want to take a relaxing bubble bath from time to time._ You smiled as he did it too. He gave your hair a soft ruffle.

_Youre awesome, you know that._

_No, but maybe mentioned it more often, then i will._ With a wink you entered the hallway and back to your own bed you missed so much already.

_**Are you still awake Jack?** _

_**Jup.** _

_**You should been sleeping, you know that. Youre just some months old.**_ You loved the stunned silence that followed from such jokes.

I ** _am already lying in bed if you mean that._**

**_Yea, i just wanted to check in if you would be up for training tomorrow?_**  
You could almost feel how he sat up straight in his bed.

**_Of course. Just tell me whenever you want to start._ **

**_Oh maybe after breakfast._** You snuggeled in your pillow and thought of how the day started and how it ended now. You were happy.  
_**Sleep thight.**_

_**You too Y/n. I wish you good dreams.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello at the end of this chapter, my silent beans. Deal with it. Youre now the beans. Does that make you all together a bean soup tho? ~(.-.)~  
> Maybe if you want to have anything included in the story, just tell me. I dont (usally) bite....
> 
> Further info: the biker thingy wasnt just for fun....


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Recommendations:  
> Breath caroline- blackout  
> And for the later part please listen to:  
> Jamie xx - loud places

Youve been in a suspiciously good mood for the last days, although you didnt knew if Jack was the reason for that or just the plain fact that everything had been going great so far. The lost bottle of blood almost forgotten.

The morning seemed to be normal so far and you took yourself some time in the bathroom. As you strolled down the hallway, passing the library and the boys rooms you only had to follow the delicious smell of breakfast. But it was not like you really had time for that. Jack already stood in the training room you passed, warming up. Your mood took a swing and your were more than willing to test your and his strength again. So you just quickly jumped down the small stairs in the kitchen and grabbed a grilled cheese sandwich right from Gabriels spatula. He watched you like a parent.  
_Hey! Why do you think you can just go a family breakfast out of the way?_

_Jack did it first._

_He doesnt have to eat, you forgot that?_  
You already flew up the stairs again, past Sam and Dean who both read the news and skipped thorugh some pages on their laptop. Castiel sat nervously by the side and you kind of didnt like that. You turned around in the doorframe.  
_Cas. Wanna come with us, looks like you dont have anything to do?_

_Not yet, we wanted to start soon._

_Soon means not now, come on. We could use help._  
Now interested he zapped right beside you wich made a large smile appear on your face. _You can go to Jack, hes in the training room. Ill be there in a second._  
He nodded and stiffly walked down the corridor, letting his trenchcoat flap behind him. It was weird to see him like that when you knew what made his behaviour like this. It was the plan he had been thinking about wich made him worry. Trying to listen to angel radio wasnt an easy task after all and could cause danger to all of you. And Gabriel warned him about doing it the whole night long. Only after you locked yourself away from any other thoughts you managed to fall asleep again, but in the first minutes after waking up your mind went back to his arguments, figuring out if you should join the plan and help them where you could. Right before you fell asleep you still thought of the ways Jacks blood could be used, for good, but mostly for bad. Even if witches like Rowena would get ahold of it, it should be destroyed forever so everyone would be safe. And for that to happen, the first step would be finding that goddamn thing or the person that had it. And the only way of doing that, or more the quickest, was to find out over other angels, wich always kept their eyes and ears open.  
But on the other hand, that wasnt really of your business. Also you didnt want to interrupt them or go on their nerves as you were already all up in their work, barely helping. Or so you felt.  
At least the training would help Jack. You put on your long, black and pink leggings and a loose white top wich was open in the back. The longer you had lived together with Jack and Gabe the more you forgot about how your body looked like and what it reminded you off. The scars that splattere over you made you feel like a Jackson Pollok picture and of course, insecure. But it looked like they seem to forget what they meant and so did you. The discomfort wich was caused by every glimpse you catched when you saw them in the mirror of the training room faded into nothingness when working out. And why should that change now that other hunters were around? Probably Sam and Dean would have the one or the other scar too, because were you really a hunter without a sratch from some crazy monster?

Your short warm-up had to be enough because Jack already nervously punched into the boxing back, missing it from time to time.  
_So eager._ You cooed at him.

_Well you were gone for a while and have you ever seen Gabriel working out?_

_No not in the slightest._ You scooted closer to the mat and jumped back and forth, lifting your bandaged fists. _Wich means this session has to be double the load, did i calculate that right?_

_Totally._ He panted lightly and also stepped on the red mat in the middle of the room. You both looked to Cas who stood by the side, watching with squinted eyes.

_Cas would you mind giving us a start signal?_  
He didnt nod and just leaned forward, getting in a more comfortable position to watch the fight more closely.

**_Go_**.

Your focus immediately went back to your now opponent and you zoned in on his weak points, but he had trained himself far more than you thought. In the time you were absent he switched his weak leg behind and his passive arm was raisedd upwards, ready to block and fight. But you had the one or other trick up your sleeves still, wich he didnt kknow about. In order to distract him you took a slight step to your right, tricking him into thinking you were going around. And so he responded, stepping to your left. It was the perfect angle for a side kick but your leg didnt even reach that far. He grabbed it midair and you were spun around and on your back. You had no time to focus again because you felt a grip right around your torso. Your body was lifted up and thrown back, making you land harsh on your right shoulder. However it wasnt over yet. In the corner of your eye you saw him, scooting closer and trying to tie you down. But this time he didnt see your leg coming up infront of him in a sudden move. It hit the middle of his chest, now moving him to his back and flat on the mat. It didnt took you even a split second to reach out for his arm and with your legs around his neck, squezzing both tighter. As you knew it was almost impossible to get out of this grip and so you heard a dull thud nearby, indicating his surrender. You checked your breathing and your heartrate. Both still going strong and a little raised, but good for the first training after a longer while.  
_**1:0**_. Castiel counted as the both of you got ready for the next round.

**_Sure you still wanna keep going?_ **

**_Do i hear hesitation?_** You knew Jack just wanted to mock you, but you took is personally.

**_Not in the slightest, just wanting to make sure youre ready to loose again._** Now you wanted to show him more than ever what he was about to recieve for such a comment...

_**7:8**_  
Both of you were on the edge of giving up but there was only one win left for you to catch up with him, so you werent about to resign. However, when Dean entered, Cas left quickly, letting you two behind. After a short look in each others eyes you knew you werent about that. In unison you jumped up and followed close behind them, trying to listen to what they were discussing. Their quick walking however made it near impossible to figure out what was decided in the end to be the plan. On the other hand you didnt had to know it from them. Gabriels face was a clear indication of what was about to happen. He looked like a dried raisin, with all scrunched up eyebrows and sat with crossed arms in a seat beside Sam who looked at him with his puppy eyes. You shook your head as you took a seat and listened to his thoughts. On the most part they consisted of swear words anyway, not giving you more infos. You looked back to Cas who refused to sit and just stand nervous by Deans side.

_So you decided on listening to the angel radio?_ You tried to find out more this way as even Cas thought werent focused enough to tell anything from them.

_Yes it seems to be the quickest way._

_And because were safe in the bunker..Gabe._ Sam emphasised his name in order to get him out of his moddy state but he didnt moved a bit.

_Ok so what are we waiting for? Cas do you need my help?_

_I didnt want to ask you, but it would be a relieve to not have decide alone wich voices i have to listen to._ With his words, all looked up and watched the both of you.

_Hey wait. That wasnt part of the plan Y/n!_ You turned to Dean and gave him your best bitch face.

_It was for me. You cant just give someone alone the order to do something dangerous. Its always better in a team._ You stood up and walked to the side of Castiel, laying your hand an his shoulder. Jack knew exactly what you were talking about so he didnt interferre. Its was your plan to help him with not only his power, but also the ones from the whole team. Nobody should ever go alone again, not when you were around. It already costed you a close win and you werent about to let that happen once more.  
**_Just lead me where you want me. Anything i should know about beforehand?_**

**_Please keep in the back and tell me when you hear something from interest. They may be able to hear you when youre talking, but as long as you will stay silent, youre hidden._ **

**_Got that._ **

**_Y/n, are you sure you want to help me with this? It wont be a very pleasurable experience._ **

**_Cas, i am sure._** Again you layed your other hand on his right shoulder and held him an arm length away. And with a nodd you signaled him to start.

It wasnt like you thought it would be. It started like a high pitched tone wich slowly but surely grew to a brain shattering white noise. It was similar to your first teleport but way longer. It grew even more louder, wich you thought was almost impossible, and made you close your eyes, seeing white lights globes run by. They were so incredibly fast and only barely you could make out single ones and ...a group. They spinned around each other over and over, grabbing your attention with their weird dance. Even though the blue light of Cas hovered beside you, he wasnt really focused on them like you were. From time to time he just followed random glows that passed by, trying to catch them apparently. But that was none of your interest as you doubted that you were able to follow them.  
You tried to walk closer to the group, however were unable to move from your place. Obviously because you were still standing in the bunker, but this scenario felt like you were in a multidimensional-chatroom of some sort, making you only able to focus more on them. You spinned around and realized the other lights werent paying attention to you, so you felt safe to listen closer to the group. The mumbling at the beginning soon grew to part screaming and different voices wich overthrew themselves with words in you brain. You tried to shut your ears with your hands but it didnt help, so your only chance was to at least hear if they had something interesting to say. However all you heard was a discussion and a sense of panic in everyones voice...  
_**We cant go back, nobody of us has enough strenght, dont you understand.**_

_**I understand you farely well, Hereziel. And it was not my aim to do so as we still didnt fulfill the task we came on earth for.** _

_**Auriel do you have further info?**_  
The three different voices stayed silent for a while before a fourth one joined in, much more silent.  
  
_**Nothing, all we can do is find the nephilim and fulfill a locating spell with him.**_

_**And if he doesnt want to?** _

_**Rakiel, he will be in our favor, were angels just like him.** _

_**Azerel youre lying to yourself, again.** _

A feeling of deep confusion spread through you, when you kept listening to them. Their voices seemed far away and right next to your ear at the same time, making you shiver. You decided on calling out for Castiel as you didnt want to talk to anyone without him. But your, as you thought, silent call for him was immediately noticed by the four globes and in a short, unnnoticed moment they moved right infront of your face.  
**_Cas, Castiel! Can you come over here for a second._**

**_She is talking about him._ **

**_What is she doing here, i dont see her grace..._ **

**_Can you help us?_** The last voice must have been this Auriel again, as it was the most soft one and whispered right in your ear. You tried to reach behind you as you felt Castiel rushing closer to you. You somehow managed to be grabbed by him and he threw you behind himself, or his grace as you now knew.  
_**You all know my name and my status. Report who you are and what is your concern on earth.**_

The few globes drew back quickly only leaving one in the front. It looked like they behaved just like humans even though they were celestial beings of the fourth kind.

**_Hereziel, Rakiel, Azerel, Auriel. Guards of the third batallion._ **

**_Third? Thats impossible, it hadnt been activated since the first war._ **

**_We rearragend it oursleves._** The voice kind of stated proudly but the light dimmed as Castiel seemed to tower over him.

**_What is your mission?_** Castiels voice sounded cold and clear in the dark area, where no other lights were now visible.

**_Searching for the nephilim of Lucifer. Find his extruted blood and destroy it._** You stepped closer to the two of them and held out your hand to try to touch the light wich decreased its brightness the longer it talked. It looked sick and kind of weak.

  
**_Who send you for this mission?_ **

**_Noone._** It almost went out before the other lights came back and joined him again. A second one then started to raise its voice, a more raspy but still calm one.

**_We are indipented from heaven. After we heard tumors going around that the blood of a nephilim is being sold, we tried to get our battalion to move, finding and distroying it. But our task got denied by a visor. They argued like they didnt care about earth anymore and told us to retreat. They sounded like the cowards they are._ **

Castiel stayed silent, probably thinking about the words but you couldnt hold back, needing to ask far more questions. As you tried to communicate however you were grabbed and drawn back by a force wich pushed you through a thick wall of white noise again, numbing your senses and confusing you as to where you were heading. Obviously, as you opened your eyes again the same blue eyes greeted you back into reality like when you closed yours. You tried to relax your hand when you saw how they were basically fisted in Cas shoulders but your muscles werent about to follow your lead. Luckily he seemed to notice and grabbed your wrists, lifting them down and rubbing with his thumbs over your pulse point to activate them.  
**_Its normal to feel numbness in certain parts of your body, but it will fade. I promise._** His warm smile assured you of the rightfullness of his words and you couldnt help but smile back. You looked around the room, wondering if the others were still here as it was mainly silent. To your confusion, they still sat like you just left.

_How long were we gone?_  
With your question, Sam was awoken out of his stare at you and blinked a few times before answering and standing up.

J _ust a few moments. Uhm...Y/n are you alright?_

_Yea why. Just a slight headacke but nothing more._  
Sam just grabbed a tissue from a table by the side and held it out for you, signing with his hands to your nose.  
You quickly tapped the cloth to it and drew your hand back, only to see a small patch of blood. You pressed it back to your nose, not wanting to bleed on the floor, wich was your only concern by now.

_Well who said again im no angel? Because they were pretty right._  
You meant it as a joke but saw how Jack glared at Dean who uncomfortably switched position in his chair. He knew his plan wasnt the best and could have hurt you and if it did, it was his fault.

_So Cas, anything helpful? Anyone currently online?_ Dean forced himself to look in Cas direction, trying to go Jacks glare out of the way. And you tried to help him as you sat beside Jack, brushing through his hair with your fingers like in trance. You were still thinking about the events that just unfolded and tried to understand what that meant for you. But Cas report drew your attention so you just lazily layed your head on your other hand and listened to what he told the others.

_I tried to gather information from other angels but they all stayed passive. It felt like they were trying to lock themselves up and ignore me. So as i tried to connect to any of them, Y/n found a group of four wich didnt kept hidden from anyone. They were so obviously placed that i just thought they had been banned to earth, but they chose to stay here. They told us they also search for his blood._

_What, are they some sort of danger? Are they also trying to buy it?_

_No Dean. They are young angels and barely know anything. Gabriel they just seemed to have required their wings._ Gabe looked up in his brothers eyes, clearly with worry.

_I doubt that Cassi. Why would they want to leave home-sweet-nest this young? Noone would send them on a mission, when they are barely able to transport._

_I thought about it too, and they stated they went on their own. They told us that heaven wanted to have nothing to do with this anymore._

_And you believe them?_ Deans question sounded mean but it was in everyones mind.

_Yes. I do believe them. Y/n do you?_  
You awoke back from your static state and blinked a few times to come back from your thoughts.

_Yea, of course i do. One even tried to get my help and they looked kinda desperate...i dont know. I dont know if they wanted to lurk us into a trap or something like that, but couldnt we actually use their help?_

_They dont have much knowledge and are rather ungainly. But to have them on hand can be useful for the search._ You heard Cas thoughts, wich he was too insecure about to say them outloud under the presence of the Winchesters, so you did it for him.

_And we have to...help them i mean._ Sam looked like he understood but Dean wasnt really fond of the idea.  
_They searched for help. They tried to fix the problem, on their own, without backup. And they are alone now. On earth. How would you feel when youre trying to achieve something but noone is around to guide you?_  
It looked like Dean drew back and resigned as he layed back with a look of approval on his face.

_Well a meeting couldnt hurt. Any idea on where they are?_

_A hour drive away, in the south direction._

_What? How are they so close?_ Sams question was legit and you thought about that too, but Gabriel already gave you the answer.

_Its cus they can feel his energy. You said they were in a group, right?_ Cas approved with a nodd.  
_Yea, see. They probably tried to locate Jacki together, wich isnt that difficult even when youre just a fledling. He is basically a lighthouse of energy for any other being...unless you wear sunglasses._

_Gabe._ You sighed at his unstoppable humor. It was like nobody could ever shut him up, not even the most serious scenarios.  
_So we agree on helping them?_ You used the light mood in the room after the joke to get your will. You wanted to help them, just as much as Jack.

_Yea, of course. Sam, Cas and I will meet them and be back soon._  
They stood up, trying to sneak away, but you werent about that plan at all.

_Hey, what do you think youre doing?_  
They turned around, back to you.

_First of all, i found them. Second of all, you guys do realize youre inferior without me. And with that i dont mean in numbers. Its not like Sam alone can get them to tell you anything with his puppy stare and i dont think your charme will get you anywhere near some good infos, Dean._ You were already past them and jumped up the stairs, turning around on the top of them.  
_Soo..youre coming?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my silent beans, hope you had a great weekend and will have an even better week ~(•.•)~


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally had to sit in complete silence to write this chapter, it was so damn complicated...

* * *

You swung a flannel over you shoulder and buttoned it up as you walked straight to the car. You tried to ignore the mumbling behind you as this was something they didnt understand. They didnt heard the restless and heartbreaking voice that was so desperate for someones help. And if it wasnt for them, it would have came down to do the job alone. Luckily, Dean, Cas and Sam still came after you as you stormed forward and sat in the car.   
_You know youre not the one who gets to decide here._

_I already decided on the music, so whats there even left._ You snapped back in your best sarcastic manner. Sam looked over, giving you smile and with that you knew you werent too harsh and got a bit relieved after Dean just sighed and started driving.

........................................

_Listen, what ever the hell now happens, and believe me i have no idea, can you maybe let Y/n take the lead?_

_Sammy. Do you remember when we first met Cas. They arent our angels that we know. More the, we see, we kill type._

_Probably. But if so Cas will get em. And if not, just hold back the shotgun for once. Im serious Dean. Put it away, it doesnt wound them anyway._   
With Sams arguement, Dean didnt really got in a better mood than before but on the other hand Sam knew exactly what he was thinking about. It wasnt easy for him to let others in, when everyone was safe for a moment and then in the next, a new group of angels appear wich could be either dangerous or helpfull. And for him it was so much easier to just assume they were evil and be stabbing ready instead of trusting someone. But you werent about to do that either. As you went with Cas to get infos on where “your band could have taken a room and forgotten their important soundsboards”, you thought a lot about how to approach this situation. It were the four of you against four of them, in case of a fight. But you hoped not so. Not because you couldnt handle them, but every early lead on Jacks blood could safe precious life.

_Cas can i ask you something?_

_Of course, what is your concern?_ Cas walked beside you out of the door and over the parking place where Sam and Dean leaned against their car in the midday sun.

_How was it for you when you fell from heaven?_  
His short pause said you more than any words and that it wasnt easy for him. You even felt bad for asking and tried to shrug and turn down your own question. But his brief answer was enough for you to vaguely know what will come.   
_I was shattered, like a vase that fell from a table._

_hmh._ You were proud of him that he tried to use a methaphor as it always seemed one of the more difficult ones of human things for him and it underlined his message pretty well. So if Dean wouldnt be Dean and with his more than often harshness, they should be fine and get some good infos. And more than anything you wished for him to show the caring side that he showed you in your worst hours.

And so everyone of you just stiffly got going and up the stairs in akward silence,with all their expectations and hopes on this meeting. And if it wasnt for you being a great actress you wouldnt even have the moment of suprise on your side as you opened the door with the stolen key card. But the dark room played against the four of you as you just came from the bright and sunny outdoor. You stuttered and stood still in the door as your eyes tried to adjust but the others pushed your foward into the room, Cas first, as he wasnt influenced by the change of light. You felt how his tense body quickly shoved by your side and saw him drawing his angel blade. But it was anything but necessary at the sight that hit you after a few seconds and you layed your hand on his fist to convince him they werent here to fight against them. It was anything but that. Two black haired, younger men sat on the bed, facing each other with heads dropped. The only thing they even did when you came in in a rather rushed style was jump up and...back.   
_Cas give it to me. He hesitated._

_**You heard me**. _ You reached out for his blade and put in safely in between your back and pants, basically trying to signal them that you were all willing to lay their weapons down. And so did Dean too, to your suprise.   
You tried to best to not seem intimidating, wich the fact that you basically looked like a sweet jogging girl kind of helped. However they were caught off guard and you started to feel panic in them, like you did with gabriel the first time.

_Its ok, this is Cas, as you know. And im the one that was there too. Someone called out for me. Just trying to help._ You stated shortly, still halfway standing in the middle of the room like a lost puppy. The two guys attention however seemed to be awoken as they looked at each other like they knew what you were talking about. They raised their heads and stood up in a true soldier manner in front of you and Cas.

_Yes, i was the one reporting, Hereziel. These are my brothers Rakiel, Azerel and Auriel._

_Rakiel here._ He nodded, more lazily and relaxed now that he saw how shocked Dean and Sam looked as they just saw the two of them on not four as they said.

  
_Do not panic. Theyre in the bathroom so it would be more convenient. Auriel is still bleeding from the attacker in the club._

_What. You guys know about this and where there?_ You screamed out the obvious as the others didnt seemed to have any questions and their plan was to just let you go. Not the best plan but so you got to ask them everything out of the blue anyway.

N _ot all of us. We had uncertain informations and werent sure about the club, so we had to split up and leave Auriel together with Virel._

_The men. He..._

_Didnt make it. Yes and as soon as i felt that i would have come after the two of you and kick his ass._

_It wasnt safe. Not for any of us. He could have killed more of us and even Auriel was lucky to get out._

_Wait a second there boy. Seems like you have too much info, would you mind sharing it with us?_ Dean sounded still like himself, accusing and desperate to find out how these angels were built.

_Hm? But we have it all from her._ The one called Hereziel directly pointed at you and your face probably broke out in flames right there and then. You didnt had your own mind under control at all and where giving random angels infos they actually shouldnt know. Just for a second you considered all the infos they have gathered from and about you.

_Well seems like it was my fault then. So calm back down would you?_

_No. If it wasnt you, we wouldnt have found Castiel at all. Or knew how to teleport. Or how the internet worked._

_Really? All from me._ Your face got even redder and you even more embaressed at how you were an open book.   
_Oh god._  
They both looked at you concerned.

_No he doesnt have anything to do with this. We tried to contact him but the offical rules said we couldnt. We werent high enough in order._

_You are probaby but also, news break, he left._ Dean couldnt restrain himself to atleast try to stunn them for a second but immediately got a death glare for his comment. Luckily for you, so you could stay focused on the other two as you still werent sure if you could trust them.

_Told you_. Rakiel immediately called out and punched him in the side. Hereziel just shooted him a look.

_What do you mean, you knew. Were there any signs in heaven?_ Castiel scooted closer to the two and his voice got more concerned with every word.

_No, not if you dont look close enough._

_Would you close your mouth for a second, you said enough already._

_Fine, ill just sit here then._ Rakiel sat back on his bed and took out a laptop from behind him and started tipping. Hereziel came closer and in that moment you were pretty sure that every angel has a specific dna that allowed them to do perfect puppy eyes.

_Castiel, we called out for you because you were the one that heaven said to never contact. And we only did that because we started to loose trust in what we were told. We stopped getting trained and our libraries and knowledge got taked away step by step and we were getting isolated. It was like they just hoarded us and tried to repopulate heaven just for their will. After a while of us asking questions they also took Virel into seperation and until now we dont know what they did to him but when he returned to our garrison he immediately told us we had to go. So we fled to earth._

_But didnt you know it was dangerous. Not your wings nor your grace were strong enough._ Castiel looked so concerned like he looked at his children, still they supposedly were his and Gabriels brothers.

_You ever saw one of those balls of jarn, all tied up together?_ Without looking up from his laptop he answered his own question. _Like that. It still hurt like...how do you say...hell._   
For the first time since you came in, Sam now also raised his voice.

_I guess that was pretty brave. But why did you start to search for Jack? Did they mention him in heaven._

_They didnt told us. However Virel consulted us about him and just gave us the mission to get the blood and destroy it. He said multiple times that heaven wasnt going to do anything about it, but were made for this. To protect earth. And we were close._ His eyes lit up and your heart would have warmed up at his optimism if the picture of the dead man lying on the disco floor didnt flash by your eyes. You reminded yourself of some words he said.

_Hey, you told us another one was with him that night._

_Yes, he tries to recover, but the process is slow._

_Would you mind?_ He just nodded in the direction of the only other door that wasnt the exit. You shortly beat yourself up for letting him know exactly what you wanted before you could actually tell him, but quickly continued to search for the voice thats been stuck with you since first felt his little light globe near your ear.  
You looked back at the others one more time to make sure they were behaving and asking them the right questions but soon pressed down the door handle and slowly stepped into the humid room. You were suprised at how they looked both like the two young men you just left behind and quickly realised they all seemed to be close brothers. Or at least their vessels. The one sitting on the toilet and the one in the bathtub were both just as mediumly tanned, dark haired and black eyed. The only difference between the both of them was probably that the skin of the one sitting in the bathtub was tainted a light shade of red. You drew in a sharp breath and closed the door behind you to not alarm the others just yet.

_You arrived. Im Azerel._ Right when he stood up you took a sudden step back. It wasnt really intentional of you but you couldnt help but be a bit put off as you watched how the second guy just layed in the tub, looking at the screen of another laptop wich layed in his lap and was dangerously close to be stained with blood that dripped down his arms.  _A pleasure to meet you._ You held your eyes on the guy sitting and so you didnt see the raised hand from the other one. He drew it back quickly and turned back around to the guy youve been fixing on since you stepped in.   
_Auriel._

_Hmh?_

_Auriel, brother, she is here._ He didnt answer right away and you saw his eyes closing for a longer time before opening up again.

**_Hes been like that since he got injured. I was trying my best to at the least keep him awake, but nothing really puts him to a rest either._ **

He was so naturally blending into your thoughts that you didnt even mind having him there as you stayed focused on Auriel. You already saw worse than his injuries but still, it got to you everytime. You tried your best to not back out and alarm the others when you knew Cas healing action could help him the quickest. Because first you had to see how bad it was and what was so off about his thoughts. Its like they were rambling on and on without stopping but still seem to constantly die down for once in a while. Above all you now wanted him to relax and tried to get him to move, because the tub didnt seem for a place to recover really.

_Hey, i heard you in the angel radio. You called, i came. So would you mind standing up for me to let me help you._ You voice could challenge the softness of velvet and your touch was lighter than a feather as you helped him to lay his laptop down and stand up. It broke off a bit of your heart as his face showed pain and in a response to that, there came more blood from inbetween the rest of his torn up shirt. He turned around slowly and layed his hands on the small windowsill, letting out more than one sigh in the process.   
At this point you would have expect a normal human being to scream in terror and you wouldnt be suprised about it but Auriel looked to be a silent sufferer, just like you from time to time.   
You lightly grazed over his torn up shirt and signaled for Azerel to give you one of the towels to wipe away some of the blood and let you see the wounds more closely. As the towel became more and more drenched in blood by the second you could now clearly see what caused the stream. Two exactly placed, round wounds right beside his shoulder blade. It took no genius to know what the attacker aimed at in the fight and you had to hold you rising anger back as you thought of the motherfucker that not only somehow manage to take away the blood but also hurt such an innocent angel. And you exactly felt how innocent he was as you turned him back around by the shoulders and lifter his chin up to look at his dark eyes. They were filled with tears he tried to hold back. By now you knew and heard a lot about angels being soulless and not having emotions but there wasnt one that was all that really. You started to see them just like any other humans, just a bit more weird maybe, but still worth every help you could offer to them.   
_**Cas, its nothing bad, but would you mind if i lend your powers for a second? He needs it i think.**_

_**Are you in trouble, should i come in?** _

_**No not me. Auriel looks like he cant recover on his own and is badly injured on his back. The attacker probably aimed on his wings.** _

_**Really he... ughm...**_ you felt how Cas now also had to hold back to not punch something.... _**yes its ok, take what you need. Just be careful yourself.**_

_**Tell me when im not.**_ You tried to lift the mood a bit just to enocourage yourself that you would be able to do this without fainting again. This whole, being unconcious thing slowly but surely got on your nerves. But anyway you had to keep cool in the process and tried to imagine how Jack and you mediated from time to time and how it got you so light and airy. And so the feeling of floating did not just went through everyone of your cells, but also his, as you felt his face heating up at your touch. You closed your eyes and so did Auriel as he let himself be healed and restored piece by piece.

You were so absent for probably a minute and deeply dragged into your task that you didnt notice he was healed fully again. Just the light touch of his hands made you bolt your eyes open and draw back your hands, and also, light up on fire in embaressment again.

_Sorry, i couldnt help it. Sometimes its really mesmerizing._

_How could i complain for your help. Im glad that you came. Although i must say i wasnt sure._ His slopsided smile made you a bit more focused again and you were proud that you got out of this session with just a light headacke and a tingling sensation in your hands. Still you had to lean foward and rest for some seconds on your knees just to get out of the questioning sight of both angels.

_I had to help. Did you see yourself? You looked fucking rough._ You breathing was a bit racked and you tried to get your head going again but failed miserably. You knew they had questions about you and you werent exactly sure why they didnt just also roam the rest of your muddled mind to find some answers but were glad they decided not do so. Having three people in your head was already enough, but plus four sounded borderline insane.   
Only the opening of the door and Castiels head peaking in made you stand up straight again and focus on your way out of the timid bathroom instead of your poking pain in both temples.

_Look, i found more of em._ You were proud of yourself for being so confident in your jokes that Sam and Ayerel gave you a smile. On the other hand, Dean seemed to be more concerned than before. Sometimes you wished you were capable of reading human minds too, but to that part of the training, Jack and you didnt come already.   
_So anything you found out about? Any gossip i should know?_  
You should have probably thought a bit more about what you said inbetween four freshly baked angels but it was too late. They turned to you all at the same time and put on concerned and questioning faces as they didnt seemed to have heard that saying before. You explained calmly.  
 _Is there anything you maybe heard or saw wich could be helpful to find out where the rest of the blood went?_

Auriel now answered first. _No we leaned onto the information we got from you and the internet._

_Dont tell me you found anything on the internet about some nephilims blood._ You layed your hand on you hips and moved into a i-dont-believe-that pose. One of your most used ones.

_What do you mean by that? Its not anyone nephilims son, its Lucifers. Everyone is aware of his powers._

_What my little brother tried to say is, his powerfield influences his surroundings. So if there is a storm where there shouldnt be one and we find out about it, its pretty likely that was him. Thats how we got our first lead on him some weeks ago. A rain strom over a little town near a forrest._

You glanced over to the others wich also knew exactly what he was talking about. The time you all first met.   
_And did that also worked after that, i mean. Where there any suspicious storms again?_ You tried to find out if the warding of the bunker was even safe enough for Jack or if you had to dig him a hole in the ground and just bury him there safely.

_Just one about two days ago. Thats when we got close but couldnt pinpoint it directly. And so it was my idea to try angel radio._ Rakiel looked pleased as he threw himself back on the bed and gave the others a bitch face.

As you realized you heard everything they had to say and knew, you stayed silent and turned back around to the others. But it was Dean again who caught you off guard when you tried to sit down next to him. He suddenly stood up and pushed you outside of the room rather harshly. You hesitated for a second before you realized you couldnt get the argument with Dean out of the way on how you were suppose to go on form here. At least you managed to close the door before the others could hear his negative opinion about them. But you were fooled by your impression of him.

_So what do you think, you think theyre safe?_

_Oh ok you hit me right with the important question. Uhm. Yea. They kinda feel familiar already and are really no danger._

_Yea thats it. Did you maybe realize something about them?_ He looked at you expectedly as it were supppose to be clear what he meant but you didnt had the slightest clue so you just guessed.

_Maybe... they seem to be more human than what they were described as in all the books. More emotional than what i would have imagined for soldiers._

_Exactly._ He tipped on your shoulder and you were pissed off for a second as he seemed to know something more behind the things you noticed.  
 _Listen, me and Sam asked them about how they are trying to continue here on earth and what their experience was. And they answered just like you._

_What do you mean, they answered like me? Did they say some swear words or what, because without them im not really me you know._

_No Yn. They told us about they learned from your experiences and memories. You basically somehow teached them everything they know._ He grinned at you, proud of himself for finding out much more than you did, but it quickly faded as he saw how your face got concerned and sad.   
_Wait. Why you gettin sad kiddo?_ He layed both hands on your shoulder and made yo look up into his eyes.

_Dean my memories are shit, basically. How did they learn to be like that from them. And if they had learned from someone else, wouldnt they be...i dont know better somehow._

_What? Dont talk crap like that._ His expression was angry but just because he hated it how poeple beat themselves up, as he knew what he what it could to do someone. So he tired his best to not let you be dragged down by yourself like he did it with himself after bad hunts. And he only saw one solution. However he hesitated for some seconds before he could manage to bring himself to say it out loud as he was still questioning them and tried to figure out if he could trust them like you did. But eventually, you were the one even getting them the backup of four angels so why not reward you with what you earned?  
 _Listen. You found them, now you can decide. So if you want them to come with us, i think thats not such a bad idea. And when theyre ready to go, they help us to find that damn thing and whoever has...._

You almost chocked him to death as you wrapped your arms thightly around his neck and squeezed him with your hug.   
_I totally knew you would know that thats the best plan._ You couldnt help but mock him for his soft side, but just because you knew it was the only compliment he would accept.

_Hey. Dont make me draw back my offer. That i allow something like that only happens like once in my lifetime._

You stepped back with both eyebrows raised and a grin on your face.   
_And when i came, were you dead then?_

_Thats something different and you know it._

_Ok ill shut up, bitch._ You tried to mask your happiness with random swear words but you were so uplifted that it came all out with a giggle and some laughs in between. You turned back around and opened the door with a swing only to see the four angels standing together like a hoard of sheep.   
_Soooo.....how do we get you all outta here?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo if you guys can think of anything you want to happen, let me know (•~•)/ im open for any suggestions


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically i was really busy so i did not only include that in the story but also made this chapter a collection of drabbles i thought of, all making up the first days of the “sheep hoard” at home....
> 
> Music Recommendations:
> 
> James Arthur- Certain things
> 
> Oh wonder- All we do  
> Oh wonder- drive
> 
> Also i included one of my :D art scribbles with a nice setup in this chapter and maybe will do so in later ones too, because i think it kinda rounds out the story and gives the reader a short view on how it can look like.

  
_Now that were here i think we totally gotta have rules for this before we go in. So first of all, his name his Jack, he is like my brother so if you hurt him, mock him, bruise him the tiniest bit, youre all gonna get knocked out in seconds and stored in the dungeon. And yes we have a dungeon._  
_Second of all, there will be no magic or flying around when im not saying so. I will train together with Gabriel and Cas both you all and Jack for the next time and if you have any concerns and question just ask me, but dont just assume and do stupid stuff...like set things on fire...we already had that one._  
_What else..._  
_Oh. You probably wont need sleep, and therefore not need a bed, but i will search for seperate rooms for all of you, probably next to another so you can learn about privacy..you will get the hang of that soon._  
_Also i wouldnt recommend you guys to wander around in Sam or Deans rooms or thoughts, cus humans can be sensible to that. Regarding that, my thoughts are almost open 24/7 but that doesnt mean you gotta be in there the whole time. Im still somewhat human and need sleep, wich i cant do when a whole boyband is running around there._  
You tapped on your head.  
_Above all, you are here and welcome, but must do everything to protect the people that live here, and if you found any protection spells in book or even the internet, tell me so at any time of the day. Just remember the safer the bunker the safer you all are. But just as a side note- if yall really wanna stay safe, dont go into the attic and roam around there, you may just not survive what you find there...so dont do it. You will see for yourself if he ever comes out his..whatever. So got it all so far?_

_Yes._ It came from the four voices at the same time and they all nodded accordingly. You stood infront of the bunkerdoor before letting them in and gave them the best speech about rules you probably ever did while waiting for Sam and Dean to pack their stuff and get it back in there.

_Also guys. Communication is key. Its important to just talk about stuff, feelings and everything surrounding that._ You tried to me a bit more empathatic with the four stunned statues that stood infront of you.  
_I know you lost your well known home or nest or whatever you wanna call it but ill try my best to make this better for you during your „holidays on earth“. I can tell you right now it wont be easy and a lot of stuff will be complicated or will feel stupid but for us humans they are common. Like breakfast, and food in general. So if you wanna participate or even try it out and make it yourself it will always be the at same time in the morning. How does that sound?_

_I would really like that. The hotel food tasted like glue, wich i think it isnt suppose to taste like it. So im willing to find out more about the human tastes._ Azerel seemed to be really interested in everything about humans so you kept that in mind when you would all give them their first exercises.

_What about the others? Any plans yet?_

_Is there a library to study in? As you said the bunker still needs more warding wich i may can provide as i learned some of the speels by heart. Maybe i can even write some of them down so they will be available to later generations of your kind._

_Sounds damn neat. Rakiel, what about you?_

_Im gonna stay with Hereziel. Look for him if he needs something._

_You can also go into the training room if you want..if you wanna train..your vessel?_ His eyes spun up to you and he looked interested in your recommendation. You already had the feeling he would be more the train and protect type for the others so that could be a hobby just for him.

_I would like to talk to Jack for a while if thats ok. Im interested in what he thinks about the world and his sightings until now._

_Thats... great._ You couldnt stop yourself to think about all the horrible ways that could end and so could Auriel, seeing your worries right away.

_Ill promise to be sensitive and train my so called empathy and emotions, but if you reject my idea, i will accept your decision._

_No, its not like i dont trust you, its just that i didnt got to know you better and cant really see you intentions._ Your eyes went wide as you realised you just told him the unfiltered truth about why you didnt trust him and the others.

_I can see what you mean, but to relieve a bit of your uprising stress, everything i learned and the view on the world comes and originates from you._

_See, thats the problem._ You looked down and crossed your arms to think about his statement on your own for a second before Sam and Dean approached the five of you.

_Hey, so looks like you all made it in one piece. Awesome._

_Dean, dont scare them._

_They cant be scared theyre angels, duh._

  
Sam just rolled his eyes at him and signed a silent sorry at you with his lips before pushing past the little group and unlocking the entrance. You went down first to see if the others were around already and spinned around your own to look out. After two turns however, you saw someone approaching fast and heard a tapping of feet on the floor wich sounded more like running. You just barely managed to stop and lift your arms in the air to catch the person wich was obviously Jack. But your vision spun still a bit so you just recognized him when he spoke up.

_Was already wondering who you were talking to the whole time._ He laughed and you felt his whole body being consumed by an inner happyness. It was wonderful for you to see him like this, all exited to have someone to talk to other than that random girl they picked up. You enjoyed the sight of him so much, you only turned back to the others as they came closer to him and you wanted this to go neatless. But you soon realised you had no control over their mutual interest in each other.

_Jack my name._

_We know. Im Hereziel, Rakiel is the oldest brother, and Auriel as well as Azerel the youngest._

_I know as well. And you said you wanted to talk to me about things, what is it?_

_**Jesus, theyre fast.** _ You couldnt help but smile how they just straight up ran into each other but were already more comfortable than with anyone else they had met. It was like you saw him grow into a friendship...just really fast as they already headed in the direction of Jacks room and started discussion the most random things on their way. You looked after them for some more time before turning back to the three remaining, statue like angels.

_I think you can meet the last head of the family when theres dinner but so long, lets see in wich free rooms i can place you guys. Follow me._ Confidentally, as you now knew exactly where what was, you walked ahead of them and searched for the empty rooms wich where down in the basement. They werent that bad but not really as comfortable as yours so on the way you picked up some pillows and fresh beds to get them covered for the night, although you knew they didnt sleep. But somehow they would be exhausted when you would rush them through their first activities. You pointed with your head to the door to sign at them to help you open it, wich caused for it to fly open, only to then crash into the wall of the first bedroom.

_Wow, ok. I mean their are your rooms now but still...if you destroy them you have to fix em again. Understand?_

Hereziel looked rather shocked at you and immediately shook his head.  
_I understand Y/n, im sorry._

_Hmm i would consider that a good start tho. Please, thank you and sorry are common vocabs for us humans so maybe use them often, as its called being polite._ With a little huff sound you dropped the pile of soft blankets onto the bed.  
_So, i think you can figure out how to get comfortable yourself but if you need anything, ask me at anytime. But for now i think you wanted to go to the library, right?_

_Yes. I would start with the simple spells and then continue to cast higher protection speels._

_Sounds nice. I will bring you to the bigger library then and show you where the ingredients are if you need any._

_Yes i have some in mind. I will need Witches Hair and ..._

_Im gonna stop you right there. I think we will all go to the storage then and can help me pick the things up you need._

Again, you took the lead and considered if you should really give them full access to everything you had in stock but something inside you told you they were completely honest with their aims. And with something, you know it was Jack.  
**_Y/n what do you think of the others. Auriel is great and i can ask him a lot. And he seems friendly even though we just met. Do you think he likes me too?_**  
Jacks voice was so vibrant inside you that for a second you forgot where you were actually heading.

**_Hey if youre sure theyre great than they are. Its called intention. Something that tells you if the person is good or bad right away without knowing them too close._ **

**_Than i am sure they can help us. I think you can grant them access to the supplies._ **

**_Dangit, Jack. Cant you just let me think one thing alone for a while._**  
You giggled as you felt him suddenly drawing back from your thoughts with a silent sorry in his mind. Meanwhile you arrived in the cold room and turned on the light switch only to reveal how messy it actually looked in here. Some of the glasses and boxes where still on the ground from when you rushed by them as you searched for the ingredients for the trap spells.  
You shook your head to forget in what panic you where then.

_Here. Come in guys._ You looked back around the corner of a shelf only to see them standing in the doorframe.  
_Nothing in here bites you. Or so i hope._ You werent quite sure as you didnt know what hid in the darker corners of the room.  
_So tell me what do you need?_

_As i said witches Hair._

_Ok well could you help me find it, its not like im down here all so often._  
On your words they stepped further in and spread around the room to help Hereziel collect all the stuff he needed. Some of them you never heard and some of them you didnt even want to question, such as Dragon breath. You could never imagine how you even get to that or how you even work with it. But you were pretty sure he knew what to do with it so every name you heard and saw the corresponding glass of, you picked up, until you where packed with them to under your chin.

_I think we have everything._

_Are you sure, i can still carry some._ Rakiel had even more boxes and they didnt look light at all, still he insisted on taking the ones than were too heavy for Hereziel. Even though he didnt look like a helpful person, or in this case angel, he did everything for his brothers, even if it where small things they were able to do themselve.

_Ok then lets go i think._

_Uhm Y/n?_ You managed to swing around only to let a small container roll down your arm and fall to the ground. But Azerel was faster than gravity and picked it up before it would have hit the ground.

_Thanks._

_No it was my fault, i startled you. Sorry._ You looked back up to him and were pretty close to just awww at him because he had such sweet, sorry puppy eyes that you might as well melted right there and then if you were icecream.  
_I just wanted to ask if i can stay here and sort them a bit._ Before you could protest in letting him do the exhausting work he cut you off.  
_I like sorting things and get them in order. I would love to do it here as well._

_Honestly, how can i say no to that. I will come back and help you tho, i swear. Ill just get them started and then return, alright?_

_Of course, there is no rush to that._

You nodded one last time at him and then proceeded to back out slowly as to not trigger any of the glasses to fall down too. You scooted further away until you made it safely through the door and then went infront of your two sheeps, as you liked to call them by now. Without any doubt they followed you and when you saw them just walking behind you, trying to balance their packages you were almost sorry that you were so harsh to them before you could even get to know them properly. But there was plenty of time for that as you arrived in the library and spread all the little jars of ingredients over the table.

_So, whats first guys?_

_The most intelligent way of proceeding would be to built up the spells one after another like layers. First the more general spells like anti demonic and species from old legends._

_You mean then there couldnt just fly a dragon in the middle of this room? Neat._

_Yes, that would be pretty much it. Then i would go further into specific and more detailed spells wich can fight off entities that are not labelled and can only occure once or twice._

_I get that. If you have nothing against it i would just like to sit here and take notes throughout it. It could really help others to replicate them if needed._

_Yes that would be intelligent._

_Hey Rakiel, dont you want to join me on the couch?_

_No, thank you. I will stay by his side if he needs more power._

_Oh...of course._ You drew back quickly and seated yourself on the couch where you could watch them the closest and write down the ingredients as well the procedure wich they had to go through. Wich in some cases where so complicated they were definetly neccesary, at least for the low level of hunter finessese wich was common throughout their „species“. Though, you thought Sam would be able to do even the most complicated ones. Still, as you listened closely to the latin words wich Hereziel spoke with closed eyes you listen them and added details as to how they were spelled correctly as the smallest alterations mattered. For example, if magnus is not said correctly it can lead you to an oversized bowl instead of the spell to actually succeed. Or so did Rakiel comment on one of the first spells but you believed him. So you made a little note on the side to make others aware that they maybe not want to get crushed by a giant bowl.  
On others spells however you couldnt help but admire how beautiful they actually looked. Especially five our four spells in, Hereziel was concentrated on a particular spell against multidimensional fireflies or something like that. But before he said the last words to finish it he quickly glanced at you as to look a bit more closely this time. So you layed the book down and leaned forward over the edge to obseerve what emerged infront of your eyes. Only a second after he finished his part of the spell the bowl and all its ingedients went up in light gray flames and formed a sort of spiral up until it almost reached the ceiling. Through the flames however you were able to see small, leave like figures wich moved inside the tornado of hot flames like there were dancing around it and using the hot air to fly up and above. It lasted only ten seconds until the flames went back down again and the fire died out but it was a memory you werent able to forget that fast. You were almost sad it was gone so quickly but it sparked an idea inside you and you jumped back to pick up your book and scribbled down the rough shapes of the flames and little birds you just saw. Now, along side of the spell text and some descriptions, a spiral of fireflies decorated this page and made it stand out so beautifully.

Even Rakiel stepped closer and looked satisfied with the result wich made you feel even better, because a real angel just approved your art. Wich pretty much means it cant be that bad. And as they continued you couldnt stop and kept on scribbling some little pictures on the side or on top of every page. Sometimes it where symbols, sometimes shapes wich occured inbetween the sparks and flames that flew when Hereziel finished his parts. However you just almost forgot your promise in this meditating state of drawing so when you remembered you jumped up, scaring the others in the process.

_Sorry guys, sorry, but i wanted to help Azerel clean up the storage. I almost forgot. Maybe you can keep on doing what youre doing and i will come back later to look after you two. And Rakiel would you mind to keep writing down everything that happens?_

_Yes of course i will. But maybe you can give us..._  
He was stopped by Hereziel with a silent shh in his thoughts and then turned around to you, holding a small, empty bottle in his hands.

You didnt quite connect the dots until he spoke up some muddled words.

_I felt you being uncomfortable with this kind of thematic about you so dont hesitate to deny my question._ _I will probably not, but ask anyway._

_For one of the last spells we need some of your blood if that would be..._

_Oh god and i thought you needed my heart or something and you would just have to rip it out of me. But if its only that, gimme the knife._ You smiled at him warmly as to sooth him a bit and show him that you appreciated his more empathatic approach. However you unwillingly drew a frown when the knife entered you flat hand and blod quickly dribbled into the small bottle, filling it to the top. 

_There you go, nothing impossible._

_Here, this will help the blood flow._ Rakiel stated matter of factly as he somehow looked concered at you now. You were stunned for some seconds as until then you just felt him deeply worrying about his brothers like that. However with the same amount of care he picked up some of the leaves from a box, layed it over the wound precisely and wrapped some yard around to secure it.

_Thanks_. He looked up and you clearly felt him going through your memories to find the correct response to it.

_Youre welcome._  
As soon as he said it, you turned around and rushed back down the stairs and through the cold corridor into the storage where you left one of your sheeps. Because you ran in such a high speed you almost passed the right door and were just barely able to swing yourself into the room. However, your hurry didnt even seem to be neccesary at this point as not only everything in the room was neatly arranged, but the shelfs were in a new place so you could look them all over immediately and the dust was gone as well as the random papers wich were spread across the floor. You looked around to see an even more neatly arranged angel sitting on a single chair by the side and sorting out papers on a table.

_You did that all by yourself...oh god im so sorry. I know i promised to help you but i was just so fascinated by the spells and forgot the time and...and bascially i did something wrong and broke my promise wich i shouldnt do._ You suddenly and out of nowwhere felt really bad for what you did and how irresponsible you acted. You just stood confused in the neat room and your heart still beat viciously inside your chest as you tried to calm down from your sprint.

_That was no problem at all Y/n. I like to sort things, no matter what it is. And i understand that my brothers needed more help._ He stood up and walked by your side as you leaned forward onto your kness to catch your breath. Unexepected he patted you on the back.

_Huh? Oh._ You stood back up again and looked up into his eyes that were so similar to Cas and reminded you so much of him although they were still dark brown.  
_Oh man, i dont deserve you._

_We saw what you did already and all decided you were more than worthy._

_Oh..._ Azerel went even further and hugged you, catching you off guard for a second.

_Ive been told that this soothes people that are in stress, and i think we put you in this state._

You laughed at how silent and carefully he wispered it.  
_Yea that is true, maybe try that with Sam and Dean from time to time, they are even more stressed. But for now.._ you released him and held him an arm length away.. _.lets actually get you into the kitchen and let you do what you wanted._  
You grabbed one of his hands and dragged him behind you in the directon of the kitchen, flipping the light switch when exiting the now more than tidy room.

  
On the one hand, you wanted to prepare both for one another but on the other hand you were curious as to what would happen when you just entered the kitchen with a random new angel by your side and not telling Gabriel anything. However you didnt expect it to go this way at all. Instead of his usual light and airy mode, Gabriel went stiff and almost paralized on the sight of Azerel wich didnt mind it at all and just stared curiously at the different bake ingredients that were spread over the counter as you meanwhile explained how they successfully did some chores with you. But as soon as you were done Gabriel just nodded and without an answer walked back out the room, not even teleporting, just quickly and borderline running out, wich clearly should give you the option to follow him outside. And immediately as you made it around the corner you bumped into the more than nervous archangel again.

_What where you thinking?_  
Before you could answer he fired another question wich concerned you even more as it was not at all Gabriel like.  
_What where **they** thinking? I thought you were coming back later..._

_Geez hey, come down for a second there and will you explain why youre so.. soo..baby like._ You couldnt help but smirk at your small tease.

_No im not baby like, you could have just let me prepare for them..._

_Let you prepare what, Gabe? More inapropriate jokes?_

_No little-pain-in-the-neck, i would have ..i would..._

_By your father. What are you so concerned about like dude, youre an archangel and far superior to them. Dont tell me youre suddenly scared._

_What? NO. But thats the point._ He pointed somewhere infront of him with both hands as you were suppose to understand his situation by now.

_Oh Jesus explain then._ It was the last thing you could think of to make him finally explain his problem to you, and so he did, after he shoved you a bit more away from the kitchen so he could make sure Azerel could hear none of it.

_Listen, i am an archangel and basically millions of years old. Like you get it, i was there in the begining and the first generation, wich also means i am common to all the things that happened and basically made peace with the fact that i can only change small parts and pieces of what furious father above us started. I am basically an adult of angel._

_Youre acting anything but adult right now, you know that right?_

_Kiddo..shut up for a second._

_Fine._

_So you see Cas right. He was one of the later generation and im sorry for him but in fact he was born into a war. He and many others were born to fight and protect humanity at the same time wich many of his brothers lost track of their mission and just started fighting. But he wasnt the only one. When i was in heaven i saw some generations grow up in peace, silence and war over and over again and they were basically all the same through and through. But these ones...i wasnt in heaven for a long time and could only watch some of them as they basically face planted down to earth to at least try to help some of the humans, wich was quite impossible but they did it. And thats what im not prepared for. They are different and optimistic and try to learn and everything like that._ He gestured around furiously infront of your face wich stopped you in your process of working through all the info you just got from some place deep inside of Gabriel so you snapped forward and catched both of his hands.

_Gabriel._

_Yea._

_I will tell you this only once and only this time. They. Need. Someone. Like. You. And that right about now._ With ever word you shook his hands to underline your words.  
_They need adult wich has been on this earth for long enough to explain some things i dont know and someone wich is as caring as you._

_What?_ He looked like someone just told him brand new info.

_Let me give you this short example to end this more than ridiciolous conversation. I dont know how to bake pie. He wants to bake pie. Do you maybe see any soultion to this problem._  
Immediately his eyebrows sank down from paniked to are-you-kidding-me?  
_No im not kidding and yes i just asked that. But the real question is if you didnt say yes by now. Can you even bake pie?_

_Pff im not any archangel, im the angel of sweets and candy and dessert and you will never taste something like the pie i will make i can promise you that._ He went straight back into the kitchen, now in total challenge mode. However just after some seconds he sticked his head back out to give you a short wink.

_I will take care of him for a while. You go and look out for the others._

_Thats the Gabe i know. I almost wondered where he went._ You acted and thoughtfully scratched your head as you turned and demonstrative slendered down the hall, looking from side to side to find the self esteeem wich Gabriel lost there for a minute.

After you gave a quick glance to your mobile, to assure yourself that Sam and Dean didnt already found anything, although you knew they were probably sleeping by now, you proceeded to going back to the library. Still, you wanted to check in on Jack before heading back, so you took a turn and quickly went straight to his room, knocking before entering.  
When you were completely honest, you werent even suprised to see what you saw when you opened the door. It was almost like you knew Cas would be interested in this kind of conversation but what caught you off guard was them all, sitting around in a circle on the floor like a goddamn girls group.

_Oh sorry i didnt know you had tea time already and this late at night._  
Everybody looked at you, but only Cas seemed to understand your reference.

_It is more like a discussion and Jack as well as Auriel have interesting points and opened me a new perspective on basic things humans do like brushing their teeth._

_Well, although i would be trilled to see that new perspective and let it light up my life with knowledge, i just wanted to tell Jack..._ you pointed at him and gave him the most parental look you could manage to do.... _to not get to bed so early if we want to start training tomorrow_.  
His eyes turned some kind of sad and you started to regret that you just forbid him the one thing he could enjoy right now.

_Oh but you know if Auriel can still stay awake with you...._

_I dont sleep._

_...You see, then maybe you can keep discussion for a while. But make sure to then tell me what you found out about human kind. I would be interested, really._  
They all nodded, now even more focused on finding out what the thing was with humans, needing to clean their body alone and being uncomfortable when somebody was watching. However with that thematic you decided you didnt really need to join, so with a good sense of them all being safe and somewhat happy, you headed back to the library. By now you were almost able to find the way with closed eyes wich you really wanted to do, because your eyelids felt heavy from the lack of sleep. But you had to stay focused in order to document everything that was going on, so you grabbed whatever was left in the fridge after the storm of two angels went over the kitchen and went back to where you expected to be some kind of chaos by now. But the library still looked like you left it, with the exeption that some of the boxes and glasses now seemed to be empty.

_Hey guys._ You just wispered it silently as you stepped in, to not disturb any procedure or spell they were doing.  
Still, they both turned around and you were shocked to see Hereziels undereye bags and his pale skin. You quickly rushed to him, afraid that he would fade at any given moment.  
_No. No. NO what happened to you. Dont tell me some of them went wrong of something._ You held his shoulders thight to give him some kind of stability.

_No, they all worked. Thats the problem. He is so stubborn and just wants to continue but his grace is weakened and he barely has enough power for one more spell._

_I do have power, and so i can continue. You are just overreacting as they like to call it and i still have important spells to do._

_But not in that condition._ Now Rakiel grabbed him by the shoulders but a bit more rough than you liked, so you sibglehandedly tried to fix the next problem as they for some reason decided to keep coming up today.

_Look you already did pretty much. Isnt there a short time frame where you could just sit down and rest a bit?_

_Thats wouldnt help. I cant sleep or rest like you, wich means my grace wouldnt recover. This would be senseless so i decided to keep going until..._

_Until what? All your grace is empty and you burn out?_ Rakiel shook Hereziel so hard his already limp neck and head swayed dangerously fast back and forth. It looked so unhealthy you had to step in before you would heard a snap sound.

_Ok, hey! Rakiel stop it. Shaking him into oblivion isnt gonna solve anything here so let go of him. And if you remember i told him to keep going until im back, so first, its my fault and second, i can help him, now that im back, so you wouldnt mind to sit down right there._  
You made it sound not really like a question and more like a rule wich he had to oblidge right away. And so he did, with a sight, but he sat down some feet away on the closest seat nearby. After that, you were finally able to think clear again and help this angel wich by now looked like a puppy wich stood in the rain for an hour.

**_Listen, if you really want to keep going you have to do me a favor. I mean this is important for all of our safety but not if we have to sacrifice you for it!_**

**_Yes i will._ **

**_Thats great, so...im honest i never did that too but it cant be that hard. But what i do know is that you have this light in you, right?_ **

**_If you mean my grace, then yes._ **

**_Now do i also have that light in me?_ **

**_Yes, but yours is different. Its your soul and looks much more brighter._ **

**_Oh...you can already see that?_ **

**_Hmh. At all times angels can see your soul as well as the ones from demons, however those can be compared to black holes in their eyes wich show how they got to hell._ **

**_Well, isnt that a bit personal?_** You suddenly felt uncomfortable that literally the most of your „friends“ were seeing your inner self at all times and displayed like a open book.

**_I see your concern but that doesnt mean we see everything. The light only tells us some general information like their emotional state._ **

**_Thats a bit personal but whatever. Now, maybe you saw how i healed Gabriel in my memories._ **

**_Yes it was very successfull for your second time, i congratulate._ **

**_Thank you but dont do that later, because maybe you can use a little bit of my soul as well to charge up until youre able to do it on your own. And maybe try it without knocking me out.  
_** And before you ask, yes i trust you enough to do it.  
You could almost feel how this question was brightly burning in the back of his mind together with his growing insecurity wich you didnt even know angels could have. However now that not only he but Gabriel too suddenly had the self esteem of a fourteen year old teenager girl with akne breakouts you had to be much more aware to give them a slight kick in the right direction, wich you were able to do with things like this. And so, in order not to stress anything you sat down beside him on the couch and let him decide when he was ready to continue with the next spells, ready to be used as a backup batterie of some sort. But it felt good to give him something back after he already did much more for the whole team and with that you let him slowly take ahold of you and your sense of time so basically you just started doodling in the book again, spending more time on detailed illustration than actually writing down helpful info. And so, you lost your sense of time and probably space too as with the continuos help of your soul, Hereziel could recharge easily, leaving enough for you to keep your eyes open and not take a nap. Only from time to time and with certain spells you had to help and stand up. Wether it was to form some weird kind of pentagram with your hands or hold a hair in the exact opposite direction to where the cross of jesus stood, wich for some reason, Rakiel knew. And you couldnt hold back the thought of how he maybe stood aside the crowd at this time and looked over the people, just judging them, and ignoring this “historical event”.

_Y/n? Are you awake?_

_Yea of course, just lost in important thoughts. Whats the matter?_

_I need some more infos on the demons of the amerikan south-east as i cant remember where their first originated, but need their blood line to..._

_Safe us from them, i got you._ You jumped back up from your cross legged position on the floor next to many empty boxes and glasses that were splattered all over the ground. Carefully you maneuvered through them and decided you also had to make a list of all the empty ingredients wich Sam and Dean could maybe need for their next hunt and therefore had to be replaced. Almost crashing into some other bookshelfs in the smaller library, you found the right books and sat down on the small chair in the cold room, wich you hoped you could leave as soon as possible. However, even after what felt like approximately two hours you werent even able to find a clue on how they even got to this goddamn earth and from wich whole they digged themselves up. And it was not until someone or something brushed through your hair that you sat up straight again, now wide awake.  
  
_Its just me._

_Well than tell me that beforehand Jack and what are you doing?_ You tried to turn around to see what he was doing with your hair but he stopped you in your motion with setting down a tea beside you.  
_What?_ You giggled how sweet he was but were immediately concerned about how he was still awake.

_I slept already, and am fine. But you didnt._

_But its not even that late._

_Y/n._

_Yes._ You laughed again at how now he sounded totally like a parent.

_You didnt sleep in about two days and the others thought you went for a hunt alone. Sam and Gabriel almost had a heart attack before i told them i could feel you down here._

_Well but i was productive. I mean it doesnt look like it and i didnt really found anything usefully by now but maybe later if you could stop brushing my hair for a second its so distracting._

_No, your hair is messy and after i talked with Auriel and Cas about human body care we came to the conclusion that the outside can affect their inside and feelings tremendously. So maybe when i brush your hair long enough you can also rest for a while._

_Hey humans are not that easy and simple constructed like dogs that need..._ you sighed... _nevermind, keep going._ During his argumentation he set the brush on the table and started to ruffle through your hair like you did sometimes until he reached your head and drew little circles on your skin and under your hair wich was like someone hit the instant snooze button on you. And soon you leaned on both your hands and snarted to lightly snore your way into a long nap.

...

_Jack, have you seen Y/n? Rakiel and Hereziel asked for her and said she should have researched something for them._

_Shhh... i just now got her to sleep for a while. Maybe you can ask Cas for help._

_Yea maybe, but i think i will find something. Me and Dean were on the internet for so long we maybe found the end of it by now._ Sam giggled silently at his own joke and on the sight of a blacked-out you, borderline drooling on the little table.  
_You maybe need help with her?_

_That would be helpful. I think her bed would be more a more comfortable place to rest._

_For sure it is, let me get her._ He picked you up with ease and leaned your head on his chest only to earn a silent, confused mumbling from you.  
_Maybe we should leave her some of the pie for breakfast tomorrow?_

_Dont worry about that. Gabriel stuffed the whole fridge with them._

_Well then you shouldnt tell Dean about it._

_Why?_ Jack turned his head to the side and was concerned that he will maybe spill an important secret to Dean wich could conclude in some kind of disaster.

_Cus he will eat them all..in one sitting and get a heart attack...im not kidding._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe you noticed how most of my chapters end with the character going to sleep or something like that and i actually do that for a reason. I just quickly wanted to add that if a not just good friend of mine decides to read this whole goddamn story, i hope it will help her fall to sleep easier. So, beans, remember to get some good rest. Its more than important and maybe you can dream of baking pies with Gabriel, and if that isnt something you want like ??? Why are you here, its like my main topic???


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music Recommendations:
> 
> Dennis Lloyd -Snow white  
> And   
> Hippie Sabotage- I found you

_Morning sunflower_

Dean smiled at you like a kid at christmas that just opened his presents. He went down the little stairs of the kitchen and grabbed his coffee wich still stood on the little metal table where you were currently sitting and trying to decide wich one of the pies that stood in the fridge you should eat before going back to work.

_Morning Dean, any recommendations as to wich one of them i should eat first?_

_Why dont you come in the hall, we are all already there._

_What do you mean youre already there? I thought you were all at work or asleep so i just wanted to quickly grab something before going to research and..._

_You stop that. We have visit over anyway and Gabriel forced us all to sit together at the big table and have breakfast. And you wont come around that if i have to._

_And you sneaked out apparently._

_Oh i wanted to wake you, but wasnt quite sure if i would survive that._

_Im always awake, just sometimes i blink for a longer time._ The comfortable and with that, deep sleep you got made your sass rise into levels unknown and you stuffed your mouth full with a piece of strawberry cake as a reward.

_Well i saw Sam carrying a pretty asleep Y/n in your room, but then that mustve been a hallucination._

_Mustve been._ You laughed and jumped up to follow Dean wich already headed down the hall in his morning cloak out of fuzzy grey material. You catched up with him and layed a hand on his shoulder.

_What are you doing?_

_Its so smooth. I totally need one too if i ever get around to go shopping._

_If you do, take Cas with you._ You eyed him from the side for a second. _He needs something different than just his suit._

_Anything special you can think of?_

_Im imagining a scarf or some sweathers. Its getting cold again._

_Got it. Dont want your angel to freeze his wings off huh?_  
He stopped shortly at the words but you pushed him further down the hall, knowing that you catched him off guard with your tease, but you just couldnt help it. They were so close and you didnt know if it was because they know each other for so long or they have this special bond Cas mentioned once or twice. Still you were no one wich could judge him for that and would make him nervous because of it so you hit him with the next question.  
_So you didnt tell me whos the visit? Dont tell me its another angel....i already got a whole hoard._

 _No not at all. Actually Sam went to pick him up. Its an old friend of ours...Garth._ He added after some while like he thought about mentioning something more.  
_Hes the one that collects some info and weapons for us and then brings them over. Hes actually pretty good in finding things...however not in hunting._

  
You arrived in the hall and it was a scene wich you wanted to take a picture of so bad. Four young angels, Cas, Gabriel and Jack sitting on the big table surrounded by various kinds of plates with all kinds of sweet on them. Pancakes, fruit salats, and a ridiciolous mix of waffles dipped in chocolate.

_Oh god Gabe are you serious!_

_Hey they said they wanted to try out food and why not give them the best of the best._ He grinned innocently back, waving for you to also come closer, tapping on a free seat next to him. It looked like he was the master of this place in a friggin sleep suit made out of a shiny, silver, dark blue material wich probably wasnt from this century.

_But with that....oh man...i cant even complain but im totally gonna get diabetes from this._

_Then you shouldnt eat it. We cant heal you._ Cas immediately looked concerned at you when you tried to eat one of the pancakes as you stood next to table. But you got stopped before it could even come close to your mouth and on the inside you whined to finally get a bite of food in you since you were on the edge of starving for the last two days and the small piece of cake didnt really satisfy you.

 _You better not do it, not for nothing Gabe, but there is something called healthy food, like salad or vegetable. And i am pretty sure you will get some kind of a sugar shock from them._  
You stopped dead in your tracks and turned around to see Sam head down the staircase, carrying two bags under his arms, visibly struggeling, so you layed down the pancake again and went to help him first. However a pleasant suprise suddenly appeared behind him with a furious pace down the stairs. Stunned, although still happy you saw finally somewhat of a different creature than just your usual monster. A light brown, wolf like dog speeded with fast, smooth movements down and attempted a jump down the last ones. However he slipped and just in slowmotion you saw him flying down the last two and then crashing into your knees, sweaping them off the floor and making you land butt first on the hard floor. The pain only lasted short as you were focused on the happy, with his tail waving dog that stood in front of you and that licked your hand like an apology.  
_Oh man you didnt tell me garth has a dog. I wanna keep him so bad, honestly he is so cute._ Your voice probably went an octave higher than usual and you just heard Sam laugh behind you.

_He is happy to hear that. I think he was just exited when he smelled the food._

_**Yea im sorry. But it smelled like the food from my grandma and i can still remember....**_  
You were totally shook and stood still like a statue on the floor, not even continuing to pad him on the head.  
**_Wait give me some time to transform back, then i can shake your hand...like ma granni teached me. But by the way, ya are also really cute and i give that compliment right back atcha._**

 _Dean. SAM._ The first name was a whisper. The second one a half scream as your eyes went wide and you started to realise whos thoughts you were currently reading.  
_I think i can read the mind of dogs or im going crazy and you should sedate me asap._

_**No its not at all like that and Sam told me you could read my mind but listen young lady.....** _

_No stop. Oh god maybe this is a dream....a really weird one. Or im hallucinating. Gabe what did you put in the pancakes?_  
The last part of your question was barely audible over the laugh of both the Winchester brothers.  
_Why are you laughing at me. Dean maybe i go crazy._ They continued. _Dont mess with me like that._ You were on the edge of getting really angry and really starting to tear up as you sat helpless on the ground and the dog started to walk into one of the hallways.  
Sam finally managed to contain his laughter and put down the bags before coming closer and picking you up from the floor. He embraced you but still you could feel his silent giggle in his chest.

_Youre adorable and im so sorry for not telling you but damn. Youre face was priceless._

_If you dont tell me right now whats going on...._

_You dont know by now?_

_Sorry i was busy with trying not to go insane._

_Youre not crazy._ Cas was back at it again and looked like he was the only concerned one about you since Jack and the others looked like they already figured it out.

_Well then would you light me up._

_Ill do. Im sorry for running into you. Im not the best at hiding my wild side._ You turned back around for the strange voice that only seconds ago came from your head. Although you were stunned that it now came from a still cute looking human you were just glad that now everyone could hear him.

 _Im Garth and a werewolf._ He smiled the warmest smile and you were so stunned that such a thing, you were actually born to hunt, was just standing right infront of you and was the next one after Sam that pulled you into a hug. He had the exact same hair like the wolf he portayed some moments ago, just as light golden and untamed. His statue was a little small and slightly untrained for a hunter but he was so adorable that every monster would just let him go when he asked nicely.  
After he embraced you for probably long enough to calm you a bit and let you process what just happened he proceeded to sit down at the huge table and greet everyone around.  
_Hey guys. Where did the winchesters found yall? Looks like this bunker turned into a hotel in no time since ive been here last._

Everyone stayed silent for a second but Gabriel took great pleasure in explaining just plainly how they were bascially all angels and look out for his reaction.

 _Neat. The winchesters need any protection they can get. Yall even know how many times they died? I lost count. i came across one guy who thought he was an angel too. Wasnt tho. He was just crazy as hell and flapped around with his arms. But he was friendly so i didnt mind really. Not that im saying youre crazy too, i think the winchesters know whos eal and whos not. I just didnt had the experience back then...was just a little child._ Now the others were just as stunned as you by his unimpressment, and none of you took action when he kept on rambling for a while....

  
_Anyway i have a actually pretty thight scedule. Just wanted to bring over the stuff you ordered anyway._

 _Well Y/n did it this time. We promised her a weapon to protect herself a bit more._ You coughed audibly at Sams comment, being a bit offended since you were sure you could beat him in no time, since the only advantage he has is his height.

 _Well that explains a lot now that i saw you, because if i may say so it was a great choice. The douche i had it from didnt even know what do with it and he couldnt even write._  
You could feel a blush rising into your cheeks at his compliment and were back to being somewhat happy after the heart attack.

_Write? Didnt we told her to get a knife? What did you..._

_Well just you wait Dean._ You were glad that now you were the one who had more infos. So confidentally you stepped closer to garth and looked him over the shoulder as he searched deep in his bags between various leather cases and other sliver ware at well as small glasses filled with black goo or crushed pieces of dried leave. Still he managed to find the thing you had been waiting for after a few seconds and held it up like a shining reward. However it didnt quite look like it on the first sight. More like a old stick with a truncated edge on the thinner side. Carefully however he placed it in your hands, scared that it would break on the last few meters since it looked unstable and old all in all.

 _Dont tell me you bought a stick. Or whats that, a branch?_ In contrast to the still eating angels that stuffed their mouth full of everything that was on the table, Dean looked more and more interested in why you ordered a wooden stick to defend yourself, wich was barely bigger than your hand.

 _Someones eager huh?_ You knew you hit a soft spot as he set down his coffee mug and tried to step closer. However he got stopped by Garth who came up to him and shoved him some feet away from you. By now you were standing alone on the lower part of the hall and they could all watch you from the table.

 _Deani you shouldnt step closer i think._  
Dean raised an eyebrow at him but agreed to sit down again. He leaned back and sipped from his coffee mug before giving you a nodd.  
You however were already concentrated in looking the fine little branch up and down again and tried to find out where exactly you should start since the instuctions you read in a book about it werent really clear and all. Just some words pinpointed a vague direction of how to activate it. Still you tried to decide wich one was the sharpest end and then pointed it directly and your fingertip before carefully pushing it inside it until blood appeared on it.

_Y/n are you sure you know what youre doing there?_

_Not really, but believe me when i tell you Jack, its more than worth a try._ You watched closely how your blood dripped along the stick and started to find its way into it and break up the woods that has been growing around it. Slowly but steadily it started to break apart and let light silver, almost white, shine through. You started to help the process by peeling of some of the plants yourself and continuing until the tip was free and fagile little quill was revealed.

_So its a pen?_

_Hm if if not wrong it think its the Eurika quill. A ancient weapon with and old style to fight, that combines with it._

_Dont spoil Cas._ You gave him a quick glance since you wanted to see the faces of Sam and Dean when it worked out how you planned. But for that you first had to find that one little button. Or writing. Or something else you could press on to activate it somehow. So you held it even closer to your face to identify some of the lettering wich actually turned into little trees and coils of branches the closer you got. Only after a little while you found one that looked too straight and more like an arrow wich pointed on a place near the tip of the quill. With enough distance between your face and the small piece of silver you pointed to tip dirently at the ceiling and brushed with your thumb over the all too small indent. And right at the moment where you had barely pressed into it, the wand expanded and a snapping sound was heard before a russling of branches started to come from the woods that grew in a incredible speed out of the sides where you held it. Becoming a little frightened you wanted to drop it, but somehow it started to stick to your hand. Or better, it was grown to your hand and changed massively in size. By now the silver staff was taller than you and two ,more than just sharp looking sides seemed to have snapped to the outsides of the ends, making it a speer. But it wasnt all around made out of the silver material wich looked similar to the angel knifes you had seen from Gabriel and Cas. More than prominent were the branches of strong wood that had found their way out of the core of the thin handle and by now surrounded your hand quite comfortably, securing it to your hand but moving away when you tried to switch it to you other hand. However as your other hand grabbed it thight around the same spot the roots moved back to their original place and went in loops around your right hand. You almost forgot to look into their faces as you were so mesmerized by what just had happened and that it actually accepted you as worthy to fight with you, since you read it didnt took onto everyone just like that. But the concerns where washed from your face as you saw how utterly stunned the brothers were.

_So you said i could have a knife, but you didnt say how long it can be._

_Good kiddo. Cheating the system like i teached you._ Gabriel laughed into silent room and the you joined in, feeling the heavy stone of fear finally drop.

 _I think now im ready to train again, anyone wanna take on the challenge?_ Before you could even end the sentence Jack tapped on the shoulders of the angels that had been silently watching the whole time and where still eating to sign them into following him.  
_Come on. I think Rakiel would love to be the first one since he told me what a great fighter he is._

_I didnt tell you that. I said i was the best one in my garrison._

_And then you said you were a great fighter, dont lie._ Azerel looked him up and down accusingly after he stood up and started to follow Jack.  
_But i think he is just nervous to loose. I mean i would be in his place._

 _ **Damn ok who teached them to be so sassy. Oh yes right...i was.**_ You were shocked but impressed at their level of human interaction since even Cas didnt fully understood it all by now and he had already been on earth for years.  
But you didnt really had time to think about if this was really a good idea to train wich sharps objects and young angels right away since you got shoved down the hallways by four and a half angels leaving the others behind.

  
 _ **I think it is clever to give her such a weapon Dean. It has its own mind integrated into its core and can help her out in dangerous situations.**_ Cas commented as he still looked after the five of you.

 _Dangit Cas. Stop messing around with my head._  
Dean looked grumpy into his directions and Cas wasnt left with much options on how he should react to the accusing tone, so instead of ignoring it he fired back with the best bitch face he could come up with at the moment. And it mustve been not so bad since Sam gave him a half smile over the edge of his mug when he saw the taken aback by the face of his brother.

_However Garth, thanks for checking in and delievering so quickly. We still in a rush to find out more and if we have to head out its good to know she has protection on her side._

_No problem, everything for the family. And if you need backup just call me. I got some pretty heavy dudes in my pack that could be willing to help ya guys out._

_Thanks man, that would be neat. Anything we could do for you?_

_Nothing major, but i ran over a case on my way here but didnt really got the time to stop. Would you check it out when i send you the town adress?_

_Of course dude._ Dean seemed to have catched himself again and immediately stood up to even give garth a hug and say him goodbye, much to the suprise of his brother.

 _WoW Dean who made you so soft. Dont tell me Y/n and Jack made you somewhat more sensitive._ Garth punched him in the shoulder right after Dean drew back from his hug. _But whatever you do, dont chnage back._

 _No no...The last days just were boring, and i need that hunt ya know._ He tried to justify his action, he, even if he would never say it, did out of pure habit.

 _Whatever you say buddy. Im gonna wrestle the next client so long and then go back to my pack, or else they get hungry._ He tried to joke with a big smile but Sams grinn dropped for a second at the thought.  
 _So the packet with all your witching stuff ya got right?_

_Yea..Yea of course i grabbed it from your backseat if you mean that._

Garth only nodded approvingly since his mouth was stuffed full with some waffles he took on the way out. Only muffled he yelled a goodbye before making his way through the bunkerdoor again, together with his now empty bag.

_Ok lets go Sammy, pack your stuff, were leaving. And Cas, so long.._

_I understand. I will take the others with me and search for further hints. They will have to learn how to fly by now._ Cas stood up and fixed his wrinkled trenchcoat, looking over his shoulder to Gabriel in the process, lifitng one eyebrow as a question.

_Yea you take your children on a walk Cassandra the babysitter. Im gonna... you know... guard the bunker._

_Gabriel i will say this only once since i know your hearing isnt altered. Get your ass up and finally help us._ He leaned forward on the table like a bad cop in an interrogation.

 _Wow. Youre this respectful to your older brother?_ He cluthed with one hand on his cheast, like he was hurt, but sighed as Cas didnt seem to budge.  
 _I guess. I will look out for some old friends then._

 _You and friends?_ Sam looked amused at the thought that Gabriel still hadnt annoyed every being by now.  
 _Are you sure they dont want to kill you by now?_

_Hey they will be totally happy that im alive. And glad. And.._

_hmh yea sure._ Sam streched his words sarcastically and turned back around to where Dean vanished in one of the floors to start packing his stuff as well, but he got stopped by a frantically panting you. Crashing into his broad chest you took a step back to press yourself past him and into the big hall, having the small quill thightly grabbed in your fist. You sprinted up the three small stairs and stopped right infront of the table where Gabriel still stood but Cas was already vanished from.  
 _Some...body....somebody...._  
You still heavingly panted from the training you got abruptly ripped from when four of your opponents faded with a flutter of wings, only leaving you and Jack on the mat in the middle of a match.  
 _Somebody stole my friggin angels!_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are the most silent readers i ever NOT heard from...still, have nice week *~*


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo guys were getting to our first real case of the storyline and i tried to keep it as realistic as possible.
> 
> Music recommendations:  
> Sick boy - Chainsmokers
> 
> Same old song - two feet
> 
> Also i went from zero to a hundred and then back to zero again and then full on a million...idk its a long chapter and pretty much in it, so just gimme your heads up if you like how the story goes. (._.)~*

_Are you kidding? Is he kidding? Please tell me youre not kidding here...i mean you would. You totally would fool me here._

_No were not but dont be all happy about that._

_Well you certainly dont seem dandy about it._

_Its cus we had no choice, i wouldnt have taken you with us but we also couldnt leave you in the bunker when Cas and Gabe are out with Jack and..._

_So you say i need a babysitter? Dean! I was the babysitter back there._

_Hey youre still a young lady and not at all a hunt.._

_You know what Dean pull over._

_What?_

_You heard me, pull the car over. I think you didnt notice the tank was empty when you were throwing that temper._

_I..what..i always now when my baby needs gas, shut up._ Still with his grumpy face on he pulled over so fast you slided all the way to the other side of the car seat in the back. Only seconds before you hit the window however you managed to unfold your crossed arms and lift them up to hinder the hard contact you were centimeters away from. Still you didnt make a fuss out of it because Deans heated temper over the last few minutes was already high enough and you didnt want to stress the situation anymore. Only some minutes ago he seemed fine and happy about the new case but everything started to fall apart from there on. His face dropped visibly at the sight of Cas and Gabe being gone, leaving only you behind. Maybe it was that they now had you on their side as a ballast for the next days or weeks or maybe because the peacy mood which spread throughout the bunker was gone so quickly and everyone was out of reach again. And you could relate since it was a bless when you had every single one of your sheeps in one room but now that they were scattered all throughout the world without your protection and guidance you tried to provide for them (even thought you knew you were like 80% less powerful) a panik of loosing them forever traveled constantly through your mind.  
So you stayed silent in the backseat when the brothers got out of the car to get ready to get back on the road to the city garth send you to.

Y _ou need anything?_

_A sandwich would be great, or chips or smth like that, just anything edible._

_Didnt you had breakfast?_

_Yes if you consider a bite or two one._

_Got you._ Sam still was the calm giant he was since you first met him and he was always there was Dean had one of his screaming tornaments. If not, you would have either thrown something at him by now or went crying into your room, or both of those options. And you didnt know if he learned what to do with his brother over the years or he was just generally so sensitive and soft to the core. However by now you were pretty sure he was just generally like that since it looked like he was the one who cared deeply about your health when you saw him carrying a whole bag with a mixture of fruits and chips to the car.

_Jesus chrised Sam bless you._ Your eyes borderlined sparkled when you smelled the strawbeeries mixed with the chocolate bar that was somewhere hidden in the pile. You couldnt quite pinpoint why you felt hungry all day already, and like a black whole, no amount of food, no matter how big it was could satisfy you, but you didnt question it since there was now enough of it provided.

_Dont worry about him all that much, he will talk when he wants to talk about it._

_Hm?_ You looked up, already biting into one chocolate bar, but swallowing quickly when you saw Sams amused look.  
_Of course he would never say it on his own. You gotta let him soften, like when you take butter out of the fridge...its gotta defrost first.  
**Weird, even my methaphors are food related.**_

_You dont even know how right you are. And dont be sad when he yells sometimes..just yell back._

_Oh i will, but i cant think he can take that then. Im pretty terrifying when angry._ You tried to do a crazy face in the backmirror to scare him, but the fact that you had chocolate somehow on your face and everywhere made it quite hard to convince him of your power.

_Sure, so long mighty monster, you might wanna sleep until were at the hotel. I dont think the ride will all be that exiting. Telling you that from experience._ He sighed and already took out hit phone, listening to some podcast.  
But you werent about to actually look useless all ride long. So in order to be a bit ahead of the case, you grabbed Sams laptop from under his seat, tiping in the name of the city and clicking through various newspaper articles of the last days and weeks. Nothing special all throughout but in the last two weeks there were various deaths of family members that came to death by one or more people who seemigly started to murder. The first few cases looked more like it was the same person but the next few were impossible to do as it got reported that the outside door and all windows were locked and just the family was inside. And the mistery about how they came to death seemed to be the worst part in all of this mess. Two of the partners gone insane shortly after the murdering of their better half, from wich one killed himself with only a pen in the hospital. After that incident, the other man seemed to have been transferred to the sanctury in order to keep him secure and safe from himself.

............

  
All those infos that came flooding at you through the hacked sites and protokolls of the hospitals and police stations made you again forget how fast time travelled and you shooted up in the backseat when the same town sign you just saw minutes ago on the towns website, flew by your window. Only close to where you drove past some of the first houses and gardens of the city one of the first murders was commited and you held your eyes open to look out for the light blue, wodden house. But when you drove past, nothing really catched your attention. No police cars or barriers. Just a normal and almost more than average looking garden adorned the house in the nice neighbourhood. Nobody seemed to care about the horrible things that were done inside of them. Nobody wanted to know.  
_There. Thats the house of the first murder._ The brothers heads spinned to the side as you drove past and both tried to stare inside, but there was no chance for doing so since the windows were covered with heavy, white curtains from the inside.

_Anything else you got?_

_Again, are you joking. Im like way ahead of yall. Ive counted four victims until now. All had a family in the town but one of them was just in a relationship with a man, not married. After she got killed however he was transferred to the grace-murphy hospital of town so he wouldnt hurt himself after going insane._ You tried to present all the following facts in a matter of fact voice, staring at the bright computer screen meanwhile. It was a rather good attempt to distract yourself from feeling anything even when you showed them the photos from the crime scene. A bright shade of red was splattered across the screen from where the knifes entered the victims bodies.  _Anything you guys can tell from those?_

_Not much yet, but if it would be a real monster they wouldnt have used a knife dont you think._

_Real monster?_ Sams strange way of naming made you wonder what fake monsters were.

_Indirect monsters if you will. A wendigo would use his claws to kill but surely no knife. Maybe a ghost or a spell who then sort of posseses people to do the work for them would make them do such things. Then they have to use anything they have in their house to fulfill their...you know._ You nooded, already deep in your thoughts, thinking about how they then had no other choice as to kill their relatives or loved ones.

_Sounds pretty damn close if you ask me. Anything that would speak against it by now? Dont wanna repeat that incident with the psycho killer again._

_Nothing really. Would have also been the only chance of how they got inside. They didnt had to go inside when they were already living there._

_So its basically like the witch we had some years ago. Good._

_Or a ghost._

_Yea or that._ Dean agreed for once to his brother, and gave him a look, which let you in the dark as to what would happen next since you werent there some years ago and they kinda were able to mind communicate through a brotherly bond somehow. Weird. And you thought you were the psychic in this car. However only seconds after their quick glance you knew where they would head first.

  
The motel looked a bit worn off but better than you were used to. And thats why you agreed to put away the stuff, weapons, books and bags in the hotel room as long as they went to police station. Obviously however, they had to change into their suits first so you just sat on the table, deeply looking into anything you could find about ghosts and spells that could help to solve the case, ignoring the throwing of ties and white shirts that started shortly after you arrived. It took them half an hour, and yes you watched the clock, to change fully and you turned around on your seat when they left, leaving you with one of the keys to the room and a cellphone  with their numbers saved in. And as soon as they left, you jumped up and grabbed it, looking through the contacts and finding Sams to text him.

_Tell me Dean didnt not just hit me with silence the whole time._  
Also tell me if he says anything about me.  
AND tell me if you find anything useful right away.

_Alright boss. Gonna report back soon._  
But dont worry that much, sometimes he just acts like a child.  
Relax a bit in the room and maybe do some research.

_Am i allowed to even go out?_

_Yea you can. Just tell me when you do._

_What about i go to the sanctury, visit the man of one victim?_

_If you think you can sneak in, yes. But dont make us pick you up at the police station._

You read the last recieved message but didnt respond since you didnt feel the need to and were already so thrilled to finally do something that you threw your jacket over your shoulder and darted out of the door after picking up the keys to the room. Quickly taking the not so long walk to the old looking building you were already set on what you would say and managed to even get watery, red eyes by staring on the ground for the whole way, in order to look sad and worn out for the story you were going to tell. And when you arrived at the counter where the old lady sat, you were ready to deliver the role perfectly.

_Hello_..you wanted to keep it short and not be to open, since no normal human would be talkative when their brother just went insane, or so you thought.. _.Miss Truben. Sister of Alex Truben. I told him i would be here at three._

_Aha. Yes._ You didnt expect such a short answer and more questions so you eyed the paper that she shoved through the crack suspiciously.  
_Fill these out and then go through the left door, down the hall and give them to the security guard. He will lead you to Mister Truben._ Her face was emotionless and distracted from the screen she had been typing at the whole time so you just grabbed the clipboard and pen and prayed to god there were no questions you couldnt lie about. And the first few were actually quite managable and easy to think of, like your own adress and passport number. But when it came to listing his social secrity number and the details of who else to contact you became hesitant. And so you were left with no other option as to scribble down any number you knew and some random adress from a town nearby and hoped that by the time you went in and out, they didnt already checked the details. So as fast and non suspicious as you could, you reached out to give him the clipboard, let yourself check for weapons or dangerous abject and then went through the gate to enter the hall where you would meet your „brother“. And you were everything else but ready since you didnt know you would come that far at all. But you relied pretty much on the fact that he was insane and confused somehow.

_Hello...Alex.  
Margarete Nummer. Im the cousin of Natalie._

_Hmh, whatever you say. What you want here. Her stuff is in her house anyway._ His voice was blank as he looked out the window, not revealing anything about how he felt or how you could connect to him, so you didnt even try.

_Well i dont have the keys, thats why im here._

_Then i will tell them to give them to you._ He still didnt care. Perfect.

_Oh so what you dont care about her anymore huh?_ You kept it toned down but still in the most accusing way. This way you could find out if he just acted disorted or really didnt care about the „love of his life“ all in all.

_Shut up. I dont know you. You dont know what i went through. And im here to try to heal from what this crazy bitch did to me._

_Wow, she is family. Can you be more respectful, my dad is terrified and absolutely..._

_You better check if youre dad isnt going crazy as well. I bet the police didnt tell you who „killed her“._ His airmarks made you confident in your theory that he saw someone killing his girlfriend that wasnt natural at all. But still, your acting was flawless until now and breaking at this point would be fatal.

_They dont know. Nobody knows, and thats even more horrifying._

_They didnt told you because it isnt possible and their stupid brains just wont accept my answer. They think im butthurt and crazy because i saw what i saw and that crushes their more realistic theories._

_Are you always so cryptic? I wanna know too, you know. So tell me what you saw, and then i will let you chill here and you will never hear from us again._

_Im cryptic. She. SHE was the cryptic one. Didnt tell me she was a suicidal psycho and now im the one left with those pictures of her in my head. How she just stood in the kitchen, stabbing herself just...everywhere._ You were quite held aback by his answer since you did expect it and it was a clear sign of possesion like it was your theory from the beginning but he held something back and you couldnt go more out and ask more question or he would know you were up to something.  _You know she was crazy huh? You dont seem as shocked now._

_We are all crazy, but i never thought she was like that. Im just sad she ended her life that way. You on the other hand not. Did....did you even love her?_

_Yes._ His answer took him no time. _I did more than everyone ever and i would give everything to get her back. But she didnt tell me she felt that way ever and hid it. So why bother when she didnt trust me. I cant bring up this much energy for someone who never told me about a cult or something like that._  
You peaked up a little at his comment, watching him closely from the side.  
_Look this is the last tip you gonna get from me since the police doesnt think its really plausible, but the other three people. They also commited suicide. And i dont think that can just be a random accident or coincidence.  
So if you go home, tell that your father and let him find out whats been going on._

_Sure. **Wow**._ You almost felt sorry for him at this point but you sure as hell could handle that alone. Although you would still report back to Sam and Dean but that was another thing. You didnt look at all like you were helpless but you forgave him since he didnt really looked at you the whole time anyway, so you let it pass an were just lucky about the info you got.  
_I guess i will leave you alone then. Just be careful. Dont let yourself get dragged into this anymore. Ok?_

_You too. Get out of this city as soon as you can if you would do me that favor._

_Sure. Should i get you anything else, i mean i can.._

_Just go dammit. Im gonna be fine. Hey! You!_ You twitched a bit at his loud scream towards one of the guards since you were this close to smoothly succeeding and you were on high alert for getting caught.  
_Give her the the keys to my house and you._  
You jumped again, unable to stop your racing heart when the guard stepped closer to you.  
_Just lay them under the matress when you get out. Her stuff is in the upper bedroom in boxes._

_Thank you._

_Just leave._

You nooded but he didnt saw it since he went back to his previous positing of staring out the window. And you swore him in your mind that you would take care of the reason why his love decided to commit suicide. Since you, like him, didnt think even for a second that four suicides in the same town were a coincidence at all. And so you went back to the motel with the keys to his house in your hands and some new infos for when the boys came home. But it seem to take them hours and even Sams didnt look at his phone, although the messages were sent to him. So you just wrote him a short: „i will take care of the food“ text before going out to the next restaurant and picking up some burgers and a big salad for the three of them. Of course with the money Sam left for you. And to your relieve, when you opened the door, they already sat inside. To your stress however, both topless.  
_Hey Guys i got some....Oh god sorry._ Heat instantly rose up to your cheeks and you turned around to just stare at the wall and scooted closer to the small, if you could even call it that, kitchen, to layed down the food and unpacked the stuff.

_What are you doing?_ Dean sounded amused which soothed you a bit more since he finally broke his silence. Or he was just glad about the food.

_Well i would certainly feel uncomfortable when you were staring at me when i had no top on. So i wont do it to you. Equality._ You talked yourself out the best you could and managed to throw away the garbage without looking.

_Its ok Y/n. Were covered. Thank you for your respectful behaviour._ Sam bowed a little before taking a seat next to you and only seconds after that Dean did so too.

_Do i hear sarcasm? Sounds like you dont wanna know what i found out?_

_Yea, i just read you were successfull at the sanctury, what you find out?_  
You were glad that Deans mouth was already stuffed with a big bite from his burger so he could just raise his eyebrows and muffle something along the lines of „you let her go alone“. But you ignored it quickly and continued to impress him with the infos you found out. And when you finished he again shared some looks with his brother before finally giving you an answer.

_Well you are absolutely right. No coincidence at all. And that explains why we got nothing from the police as well. I mean we showed there up, with everything we got but they were hiding all the infos they could. So i think we got our plan. Go into the house. Look out for signs or ghosts or a spell and then boom. Were good._

_Yea they were so closed up about the thing and didnt even inform the other family members of what all the victims had in common so your research saves us a lot of time._

_I take that compliment. It was taking all my acting talent to stay in role._ You wipped your hair back in a wide motion, giving the brothers your best serious face and then proceeded to dramatically place your dirty dishes in the sink.  
_And are we gonna finish this clue today? Or do you guys wanna take a nap?_

_What are you thinking Sammy?_

_You asking me? You drove all day?_

_Well, im so ready to finish this right now. Lets get going guys, i just had a coffee anyway._ He brushed through his hair with his hand and stood up, throwing his leatherjacket on in the process. And you just followed them silently out the door, not trying to get into a discussion about whether you can go with them or not. One way or the other, you had to learn that stuff since there was no way you could get back to a normal life anyway.  
And you could bet he felt how you felt in this moment and that he was grateful for what you had found out by now. So he just went to the other side of the car and opened the sidedoor for you, letting you sit in the front.  
_Normally Sam sits in the front but you kinda did the research on this one so why not._

You were still silent as to not say anything to change his mind but gave him a small kiss on the cheek before seating yourself comfortable in the front row.

You just watched the town go by and looked out for the right house while listening to the silent music that mumbled in the back. But only after the sun went down, you arrived at the outside of the city and spotted the house that also showed no signs of any murder that had been going on, just laying silent in the dark night. And with that, you were even more catious when opening the door of the empty house, expecting any kind of monster to jump at you right away. On the other hand, you felt very safe with two big hunter behind you, that raised their guns up to their faces and secured your left and right side where you basically had no vision. And so the pack of three searched through the house first, making sure that no trap was set up and no spell would catch one of you.

_Nothing huh. Y/n you saw anything interesting on the way?_

_No. Sam?_

_Got nothing._ By now you all stood in the living room and the only thing left in the house was the laptop wich clearly was the womans one, since many stickers scattered acrossed the back surface. And luckily, it also wasnt passwords safed in any form.

  
_Typical. They never do that. Lets see...if i can find...anything._ You scooted even loser to the screen and clicked through the last few files until you came to the recent emails and a link, where a download file was connected to it. And the prize for the worst decision on this day officially went to you when all you could hear was the sound of a train going by.

_Found anything?_ Sam came back around the corner, carrying some books in his hands and flipping through them while going to the table where the laptop layed _closed.  
Y/n? Dean?_

_Yea. You found something?_

_Not really, you know where Y/n is?_

_She just went into the kitchen, looks like she didnt foun..._  
Both of them heard the grinding of a knife against wood at the first time and darted out, now in panic mode. And their hunter senses didnt betray them as they saw your dead eyes fixed on the knife you held in a death grip.  
_GET HER HAND!_ They both started a death sprint with half a jump to stop both your hands going anywhere near your body with the knifes you had been holding and luckily, they were able to hold them with ease.

_Dean, behind you, give me the cloth._ He streched out behind him and reached far enough to grab both of the kitchen supplies and watched what his brothers plan was. And immediately as he realised what this was he mirrored his movements and wressled the knife out of your hand to tie the thick cloth on your hands to keep them form closing around any sharps object from now.  
_Ok lets get her to the living room, on a chair._ With a thight police grip, they transported your unemotional, empty body to the next chair available and Sam could hold you down with your hands behind your back.  
_Hey. Hey Y/n. Come back here, you hear me._ Sams pleading look into your eyes however was nothing that could get to you since there seemed like nothing of you was really left in this vessel.  
Nothing.

_She looked at the screen before she got like this?_

_Yea, but.._

_Good. Im gonna crush it, maybe that will get her back._ Dean was ready to take a swing at the dark screen with his gun, as his obvious aim was to destroy it at first and then ask question.

_DEAN NO_. Sam jumped up and grabbed his arm that was still raised before going ham on the electric device but so your empty body had the ability to stand up and go for the next heavy statue that was big enough to crush someones head. Yours, to be exact. And as soon as Sam realised you were going for the next best shelf, again he sprinted back to you, literally jumping on your back. Luckily his daily jogs made it possible for him to again, wrestle you down and pin your hands above your head to keep you safe from yourself.  
_Dont...Ever...do...that again._ His heavy breathing interrupted his accusing tone and he looked barely over his broad shoulder to see that by now his brother stood still infront of the laptop again.

_Then what do you want me to do. She is not only a zombie. She is a suicidal zombie. And im pretty sure it has to do smth with what she did on this dang laptop._

_And so? If she got lost into that thing, i dont think destroying it will immediately solve it.  
You know what. Get on the computer and be careful not to open any files. Just look for the emails again, that was the last thing i saw her looking through._

_I got one. Just a random sender and a chainmail._

_Sound appealing to me. Track it back to where it came from, can you do that._

_Yea i can._

_Well than hurry a bit . Y/n is not really a happy camper here._ Your low growls got louder by the second and it looked like you were in pain by now with both your hands held so thight by Sam that your wrists started to bruise under his grip.

_Got it. Adress somewhere in Calabasis._

_Then call Cas and hurry. Let him look after whats going on there._  
He already heard Dean dial the number out of memory and the two beeps before Cas picked up the phone and his by now traditional „hello Dean“ was heard from the other line.

  
_Listen. We got a case and Y/n is now a mindless zombie that wants to kill herself. We have a adress from Calabasis but you got to check it out._

_But is she ok?_

_Yea just maybe dont tell Jack that i let her get in danger. We will fix this._

_I will. Give me the adress. I have enough backup for this._

And without a word, two of the young angels followed Castiel to the wodden house in the forrest at his call.

_Cas, why did you get us here?_

_I just interrogated a cat who maybe has seen a demon in a bar, is there something more important amd urgent st the moment..._  
The two brothers looked around confused since they didnt expected to be called by his teacher so soon.

_We just have to check out something for Y/n. Is Jack safe with Auriel and Azerel?_

_Yes of course. But they will wonder why we went so abruptly._ Hereziel expressed his concern visibly through his furrowed brows but Rakiel looked rather happy to have his first mission.

_Dont worry, we wont be gone for long if we dont find anything here. Just stay close. Do you have your protection with you?_

_At any time._ In a matter of seconds, Rakiels own angel blade slid out of his sleeves and he stepped up the few stairs, entering the house after he kicked down the door with enough energy.

................

You awoke with a start as you snapped back to your body. Sams was still hovering above you and you could feel his death grip around your hands wich were still individually tied and you couldnt help but release a painful moan before even saying anything.  
_Hey Y/n can you hear me?_

_Yea can you help me?_

_Sure sure, im so sorry._ He lifted you up immediately with so much power that you were thrown a bit foward and your vision spinned for a second.

_Who threw me on the goddamn ground. I swear. And...oh man, who tied my hands so thight._ Both of them started to untie you right away after Dean eyed you long enough to be sure you were back to normal.  
_Friggin stop staring._ Your headacke made it hard to concentrate on the last thing you rembered before you blacked out.

_Long story short, Cas killed the witch that stole souls through a chainmail._

_Thats a joke, right. Sam. Tell me he is joking._

_Hey you didnt saw yourself go suicidal. You wanted to stab yourself._

_No i didnt. It felt like i was sleeping in a really thight case or something but i certainly didnt try to kill myself....Or did i?_  
Both nodded and as soon as the headacke subsided a bit you were back to a clear mind and something clicked inside your head.

_Cas said a witch?_

_Yes?_

_And she stole souls from random people? Did he kill her?_ Your last sentence grew in loudness and panic.

_Yes he did. They pretty much had no other choice i guess, why?_

_Because i heard from someone who deals with souls and nobody could figure out where she got them from, but maybe i do now._ You scrambled through your memories and tried to piece together some infos you picked up over the years and set it together to explain it to the brothers who still stood still infront of you, staring at every movement you made to make sure you were really back.  
_Ill explain it in the car. Lets get outta here. And Dean. Make sure to destroy the computer. I hate that thing._  
And so the only thing heard from this house was the shot of a gun and the rumbling of a car around midnight. And that was also how all of you felt by now. Tired. But happy that you succeded and the four witnesses were the last that got catched by the witch you were all to familiar with. Although you didnt knew exactly who she or why she did that.  
_All i can really tell you is that if my uncle needed souls, he always took it from the same source. And i think one of his friend kind of suggested he should go to her if he needed them from time to time. But i didnt know it was that easy for her. I dont know how many souls she got that way by now but it mustve been hundreds just because they are required for most of the spells i came across._ You sorted out your memories and stories while you got undressed and ready for bed in the bathroom, yelling through the closed door so that they could hear your thoughts out loud.

_And we stopped her. Case closed._

_No Dean. Its not like she was the only source for souls. The market is huge by now and not all of them probably came from her._

_But a big part._

_Yes a big part, however._..you opened and stepped through the door in your pyjamas... _its not like we took down the whole market with her. There are still some main dealers i can vividly remember from the time with my uncle and they were all involved in dirty business. Slavery. Dark spells and so on._

_Do you think they could have something to do or got around to deal with Jacks blood then?_ Sam was asking an obvious question over the edge of his night lecture and you were felt dumbfounded that you didnt thought of that before.

_Of course or i mean...they might have. I dont know the exact location of them anymore but if we got one, we can find the others. They are all connected somehow._

_Sounds like a plan to me._ Dean still had been listening over sounds of the television and leaned back onto the headboard of their double bed.  
_And it also sounds like a longer roadtrip. Well start tomorrow._

_I guess. Ill try to figure out where the first one could be and search for his adress. Maybe i can find him on the dark net, where is your laptop again Sam?_

_Not a place you will find._ _Go to sleep_.  
You frowned directly at him but he was already back in the depths of his book so you had no choice as to climb into your bed and fall flat on your stomach from tiredness, only realising how stiff your back was when you tried to turn around for the last time and some bones cracked. However your night wasnt over just yet and your plans to actually have some nice and relaxing dreams were destroyed again when you woke up in the same bed with six angels surrounding you.  
_Oh my fucking...if i dont wake up fresh like a fucking sun flower i will kill you guys._ Your mood went down about ten stories since you werent really up for a meeting of some sort and actually had other plans how you would spend your precious dream time.

_I promise it will be short. We wanted to check in on you since we couldnt contact you after your soul was catched by this witch._

_Yea by the way. What did you do to her?_ You swung back your blanket and scooted closer to Jack to run your hands through his hair like you always did by now when he looked stressed. And he sure as hell looked shocked by the fact that you had been in danger.  
**_Shh im good. Was nothing big. No danger, we got this._**

_Kill her of course, so she would be stopped form further releasing any evil in this world with those digital threads._ Rakiel turned his blade in his hands and you damn well knew he killed the witch with that same sword.

_No he didnt. I did._ Hereziel spoke up. _We tried to talk to her but she already was fighting against us, luckily with nothing that could stop us. And we had to get you back as soon as possible so we had no other choice._

_So no more infos from her?_

_No, do you have anything?_

_Not much really. We will go on a roadtrip to look out for other dealers like her and maybe some of them got on the hands of Jacks blood._ His body stiffened when you said the words out loud but you were so lost in your thought you werent really focused on what you said so you just rambled on and continued to ask Gabe, who had been sitting where Sam lied only minutes ago on the bed, about what he found out.

_Not much. I came across some „old friends“ too but they werent really up for a talk and just got all grumpy asking questions like: Why are you alive and why are you eating. Werent really helpful at all._

_So we got nothing._ With your free hand you massaged over your closed eyes and tried to focus on the good sides.  
 _But you got around to training right?_  
Auriel, Azerel and Jack nodded.  
 _Any new tricks i should know about?_

_I can make people think what i want them to think sometimes but we decided i shouldnt use it too often. It goes against some human rules we thought._

_Thats good and accurate. They usally dont like that. And did you learn to fly just yet?_

_No, it doesnt seem to work out at all. My wings hurt when they try to unfold and with the pain i cant really focus on where i want to fly..._

_But he will get there. Dont worry._ Cas looked confident over to Jack and stood up to pad him on the side.  
 _You can go, get back to where i send you last and try to find out more about the family._ He ordered over ot the other four angels and they started to dissapear one after another. On the one hand you were sad since you wanted to talk about their experiences a bit more but on the other hand you were a bit more relaxed when you werent stared at by so many while you were just in your pyjamas.

_Of course he will get there. I may remind you again how long it took you to also get close to any kind of fema..._

_I know. Everyone knows by now Gabe. Shut up._  
You laughed together with Jack and gave him a quick side glance.

_**You sure youre ok? If you need help with your wings i can sure get to you in no time.** _

_**No, its not that important as long as Cas can take me with him and it would just be a detour for you and the others.** _

_**No it would be worth it and you know i would run back the whole way to help you. Im still here for you and im sure the others dont need me that much.** _

_**Im sure we will meet at the bunker soon again when we found the rest of ....me. And until then i can still visit you here.** _

_**Yea you can.**_ You sighed internally but suddenly an idea popped up in your head on how you could get yourself and the others a bit distracted from the soul straining everyday business they all had to go through because you werent able to catch that one goddamn demon in this sidestreet. You didnt forget that until now.

But you also knew exactly how to get rid of those thoughts at least for a short while. And you were also sure that Jack, Cas and Gabe were certainly in for the thing you planned.  
 _I always wanted to do this._ You snapped your fingers, imitating Gabriel, and let the room darken and a soundbox appear, where you trusty ipod layed on top of it.  
 _Any preferences? Oh no wait. I got the perfect song. Ive been listening to this track on and on an ooon..._ You heard the first notes of the piano play and already turned around to Jack, picking him up by the hands and silently singing along.  
 _This is us...this is us...dont believe the narcasism._  
And already by the first line he knew the rest of the next and sang along loudly.

_They say that i am the sick boy..._

_Make no mistake i live in a prison...._

_Easy to say when you dont take the risk, boy...._

And by the time the chorus hit again you were both full on screaming the tunes, dancing in the dark room that only got lighted by random lights. But before it came to an end, you both seperated and grabbed each a dumbfounded angel. As Gabe was happy to oblidge, Cas wasnt really sure about his first movements.

_Oh just let go, thats what dancing it about Cas._ You signed him to take his trenchcoat off so he could move better and then pointed towards Gabe who was already full on headbanging. And by the time the last chorus hit you jumped on your bed again, letting your hair swing wildly and watching the others finally get a bit more loose. And so did you. Freely swinging your arms around and keeping an eye on the music playlist, choosing song after song until you felt like you danced for hours by now. And you were damn close to that guess since the abrupt beeping of a alarm clock and the light red numbers on the clock indicated you were sleeping for about six hours. Still your were humming the last song you remembered before you got ripped from one of the most epic dreams.  
 _Nooooooo_. You groaned.

_Dont worry you can keep on sleeping in the car_. Dean reassured you but it wasnt the lack of sleep that got you all grumpy.

_That doesnt matter. I just have this one song stuck in my head._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you look at that i broke the 70 thousand words mark....and i thought it would be a funny „little“ story.
> 
> Also that random guest that left a kudo on this work ...youre awesome.


	22. Chapter 22

It was one hell of a roadtrip together with the Winchester boys. You exactly felt that they didnt let you in on the exact next steps of their plan so you wouldnt be able to do something on your own nd for the first few stops you were pretty ok with it. Since they did let you have your own room from time to time and organize food and go around town for a little bit, but that only when the monster was known to attack at night. So you mostly wandered around in the morning, wondering what the town would look like at night and looking out for any new murder scenes. But most of the time they seemed to fix it pretty quickly amd then you all went on, back on the road and in the direction of the next hotspot of the blackmarket wich was some states away. So on the way there, the brothers worked efficiently and picked up on all the cases that didnt last longer than one or two days.   
And meanwhile you felt like you were back in the time were you just watched people doing the work and the exiting stuff and all you were supposed to do was sit down silently in the backseat. It was like they were just storing you there, like any kind of bag, or more like a weapon in case you were needed. Or they were trying to protect you in the most stupid of ways. Either way, the longer they would shut you down like this, the faster the need to do anything boiled up in you. But for the luck of them, the next city looked like it could provide you with something to blow off some steam. A, how it looked to be, young wendigo searched for its prey in the rather small city near the forrest. And with such an easy case, the brothers couldnt do anything less than let you take down that monster.

_So guys_. You sat down on the crappy motel bed and turned to your bag to take out some stuff to change into since the pants you were wearing for sure needed a washing machine.   
_Wendigo huh? Sounds simple. How about one of you leans back for a while and is letting me handle this one. I think one guardian will be enough for me._   
Again you saw the brothers exchange looks like they always did when they were about to turn your request down with some stupid explanation. To your suprise however not this time, wich seemed even more suspicious now.

_Yea well i mean i wanted to go for a jog anyway. You can join me and we will look out for a nest as long as its light outside. What you think of that?_  
You were already one step ahead and just threw some clothes to the side while searching for the sport shoes. Only seconds after that you jumped into the bathroom with a hell-yes on your lips and then changed into your almost forgotten but still favourite white sport top wich was slit on the back and gave you enough air to not sweat so much.

_Done and done._ You gathered your clothes from the bathroom floor and jumped back out only to see Sam being ready too. Suspicious. He was a bit too eager for this. A bit too fast. But your mind was playing some tricks on you you thought and so you discarded the weird feeling and gave Deans snoring body a quick glance before following Sam out the door.   
It wasnt exactly sunny today but one of the last few warm days of fall. And so the forrest wich was just a street down from the hotel was painted in all kinds of brown, orange and red tones wich looked so beautiful when passing by. It faded into one mesh as your steps became regular and you just listened to the steady beat of both you and Sam. Not to mention that he was faster than you because of his long legs, but still you were able to keep up. Only when he started to slow down you stopped and wondered if he wanted to let you win on this little race between the two of you, but it was a way more exiting sight that made him stop. A lost looking hill in the middle of the forrest wich was just covered with some moos.

_Looks way to random for me too._ You already stepped closer and left the stomped down path you were jogging on, only to enter the rather dense bushes that seperated you from it. Sam on the other hand managed to get around it faster again and was immediatly jumping down infront of the other side of the hill and out of your sight. You kind of paniked a bit and hurried, afraid that he would go in alone but as you came around and finally got through the bushes he still stood there, infront of a dirty looking hole in the ground wich looked so off compared to the green and orange looking grassground.  
 _So were going in or what?_

_Y/n we dont have any weapons on us, you do realise that._ He looked at you worried again like he was actually questioning you.   
His stare made you light up on fire of embarassment and you quickly looked down the hole again.

_I knew that. It was just a joke, relax._ Still you felt the small branch of metal in the side of your leggins wich was always ready for an attack. You knew you hadnt gotten used to it enough in order to control it perfectly in a fight but for emergencys you were at least able to chop off some heads.  
You turned back around to Sam when you heard him tipping on his phone and you thought he would call Dean but after some seconds he put it away again.   
_What did you do?_ The noisy side of you couldnt help to ask the question.

_I send Dean the location of the spot so we can find it later again._

_We as in all of us or we as in you and Dean._ Sam was visibly take aback by your quick answer and looked startled for a few more seconds by the sharp undertone that came with it. And you immediately regretted the unwanted snap at him.   
I _was just thinking you could teach me something with this case. I mean its easy, right? You said hes young, has no control at all, hides in his cave all day and killed two people already. We gotta take him out at fast as we can._

_Youre right of course. Lets just slwoly head back to the motel first and get prepared first_.  
Not really satisfied with his answer you quickly turned back around and sprinted over the bushes only to turn back to him when you landed back on the trail. You gave him a quick, challanging glance.

_Well **you** should hurry a bit then, dont you think?_

_Me?_

You left him with no answer and started to take sprint down the next upcoming hill and left him behind. Still only seconds later you heard him catching up again. And with that you came back alive again from this endless circle of going form one motel ot the other, finally breaking out of it again and feeling like you were getting chased through the woods, only looking back to see the condition in wich Sam was in. And finally he started to look a bit red and sweaty with his feet losing the steady rythm he had been keeping up for almost half an hour by now. Only when it came to an especially steep hill he catched up on you again, looking rather suprised by how long you could keep up this fast speed.

_Have you been silently training or something._

_Everytime you guys were on a hunt._

_Oh._ You watched his face change and his mind started to work on something wich you couldnt quite reach yet. But you decided that this time you would let him finish the thought he picked up on. You let him think about how many times you were out there training while they thought you would just sit around in the motel room, switching through the channels. Because thats how most of the time they found you when they came back late in the nights.

_Dont worry. Was just jogging._ Now also your breathing became irregular as you lost the control over you rythm while thinking.

_Totally fine. Youre of course free to do whatever you want._

_Whatever i want? Interesting._ You smirked through your heavy breathing.

_Not maybe everthing but..._

_I know what you mean. Forget it. Lets just finish this round and talk about it later._ For the last time you picked up the lead on your group of two and choose the route back to the motel and through a denser part of the forrest before coming back out on a street near the parking lot of the car. And you wouldnt have even looked at the car at all and were pretty much just fixed on getting back to the motel when there wasnt something off about it.   
_Hey didnt Dean park the car the other way when we arrived or am i going crazy again?_

_I dont think so._ His voice wasnt exactly shaky but he was one of the worst liars you ever came across because you could tell he knew exactly what was going on. And since you knew you wouldnt get anymore details from him and more vague answer that might as well be written in a book of things-to-say-when-you-want-to-hide-something, you began a light jog over the parking lot and in the direction of the stairs wich then you sprinted upwards. Unlocking the door as quick as possible and leaving it open becuase you heard Sam run behind you, you entered the mess of a room that had been unleashed upon this motel room. Some dirty clothes were scattered all around the room and the bags seemed to be ripped open in a hurry. For a second panic rose in your chest and the many possibilities that could have had happened since you were gone shot through your head. From a break-in to a wendigo-attack at day, both unlikely but still possible in this god dammed world. And until you reached the door of the bathroom, knocking on it furiously you still saw in your mind the picture of Dean, laying in the badtub, already dead.   
_DEAN FOR GOD SAKE ARE YOU IN THERE?_

_SAMMY?_

_NO ITS ME, ARE YOU OK?_

_What youre already back? I mean...ok... i will be out there just gimme a sec. Son of a bitch._  
You turned back arouund only to catch Sam, frantically picking up the scattered stuff and throwing it back into the single bags, closing them in a hurry.

_Ok Deans alri....Sam what are you doing, i thought Dean was getting attacked._ Still the switch in your head had not turned on yet since the panik in your head and your loud heartbeat already made you forget about the suspicious way both brothers behaved.

_Y/n, i think Dean already solved the case so we can move on again. Maybe he wasnt that sleepy after all._ His sweet smile made you bitter.

_You are a fucking bad liar you know that._ Your voice made it clear how pissed off you were and not even the sight of a half naked and still wet Dean Winchester could startle you at the moment. Just about the opposite was the case. You took a random shirt that still had some blood splatters on it and threw it at his head.   
_You are both such fucktards you know that. And also you let Sam lie to me? You know what bad of a plan that is. Instead of training me you rather leave me in the fucking car like some kind of added bag. Its not like i need your permission to hunt. I could go out there on my own, hunt some monsters and maybe die but im not that stupid and you know that. And you use that._ You didnt even scream. Your voice was more monotone than ever as you scrambled your stuff together as well and didnt look them in the eyes as you felt some tears rushing up into your eyes. But with a well trained control they submitted and you felt them subsiding. Turning around with the most judging look on your face you avoided both of their eyes and just grabbed the keys of the car.  
 _Whatever you think is best._

............

Silently sitting in the back of the car had its advantages you admitted to yourself. The music you couldnt listen to on the run now sounded even better and more relaxing for your sore muscles. With the radio off and both of the brothers in shamed silence your mind was alone again and after letting out what you had been holding on to and what has been going on your nerves for so long it was finally so silent up there that you could relax a bit. You started to melt into the seat and let the music carry you away for some minutes until the tapping of a hand on your knee let you wake up from the half sleep you sank into. Your eyes snapped open immediately, only to be suprised by the worried smile of Castiel. In a rush you took out your headphones, to listen to some new developments.

_Im am farely sorry Y/n to wake you but you might also wanna hear about Jack and how the other angels perform._  
With the sound of the all too familiar name your ears perked up and the fight was forgotten for the most part.

_Then tell me. How is he doing, what are they doing all day?_

_Great, first of all, and in order not to worry you. We have not been able to get near any new info and maybe that it because they have been warning each other through their close contact. That may be my fault, not Jacks. I couldnt take the witch out before she was able to send a message to someone unknown. And Jack is doing his best as well as the other ones._  
He had not really been looking you into your eyes and his mind stayed locked willingly from you. You sighed internally.

_**Listen those two guys are already lying to me and i can literally read your mind, so tell me whats wrong**. _ You gave him a parental look and his deep sigh signaled that he gave up to cover what has been going wrong.

_**They are frustrated Y/n. Jack has still not learned to fly on his own and he locks himself up when they push him too much. Sometimes we are close, but then he draws back and is scared. However i cant tell clearly what the reason of his behavious is.** _

_**Thats what i said, let me get back to him and im not saying that i can help but maybe he needs someone to talk to. Someone who isnt on the edge all of the time**_. You reached out for his shoulder and he started to realise what a straight up posture he had since he arrived next to you in the backseat of the car.

_Can we talk for a second there Cas_. It was not really a question which resulted in Cas snapping back in his soldat like behaviour. And if stares could kill, Dean would have been stabbed by your eyes.

  
The car came to a stop at an old, almost abandoned looking gas station and both brothers quickly stepped out of it, followed by the angel in the trenchcoat. Of course, leaving you behind.

_What did you do?_ His face was more serious than ever and he looked done with the stupid behaviour of both of them. _I mean i know what you did, but explain it again so i can follow your train of thought. Obviously i still didnt learn what humans are able to do wrong._

_Hey you cant teach me jere._

_Dean we did do everything wrong here._ _She didnt even give is the silent treatment anymore. She is just blankly mad at us. And protecting her like this doesnt work._  
Sam knocked his older brother in the side to show him how you silently stared on your phone, ignoring how they left you alone. Again.  
C _as i know we promised Jack to keep her safe and secure and all but we kind of ran out of ideas and she now defenitly knows we had been seperating her from all those cases we came across. Cant you take her with you and we search for the next hotspot?_

_Thats an even worse idea. Now and in the middle of the training i cant let her be around them as long as they are even a danger to themselves._

_And what about Gabriel?_

_Who knows where is is right now. Probably searching in every strip club for a hint._

_Damn Cas. Are you ok?_

_No Dean. At least you try to handle this so i dont have to worry about that too._

_Yea i mean...ok._ Dean was held aback by the angel whose eyes had been frantically switching between both his and the one of his brothers.

_Good_. Even the flapping of wings sounded stressed.

_Dude what was that?_

_Dean when we cleared the situation with Y/n, promise me to look out for him a bit more. I think he is not really capable of being a parent of his own with five children._ Sam turned uncomfortably back to face his brother who still looked startled.

_So what are we gonna do about it? I mean her...her._

_Well i would let you go first here. What do you think we should do?_ The younger Winchester waited for the first usable plan that would emerge from Deans brain.

_Apologize_.

Sam raised an eyebrow. _Yea go on._

_And maybe ..let her hunt. Maybe a salt and burn?_ Now both of his eyebrows were raised.  
 _Ok the next thing we come across, if it isnt too big, we will let her do._

_Good. Lets just sit back for once and just watch her. If she does a step in the wrong direction, we can lead her. And if it comes down to a fight we will be there._

_Fine._ That response earned him his brothers elbow in his ribs.  
 _Ow Damn ok. Jesus. I know she can do it ok. I just think its better to go slow._

_You never go slow._ Sam already wandered back to the car.

_But i can learn!_

_Then so can she._ He opened the door before sitting back in and turning around to you, waiting for some seconds so you could turn down the music and put down your mobile for a minute.

_So whats the next stop?_

_Yours._

_Hm?_ You didnt quite trust this yet. Still you didnt wanted to gather too much hope so you scooted closer to the front seat and looked at Dean who was just about to sit down.

_The next case is yours. I mean you were right again. We gotta train you first before we can take onto the bigger cases. Or i mean if you dont want to._

_YES._ You nearly screamed over the music that turned on when the motor started back up again.

_Ouch._

_Sorry_. You apologized for being so close to Deans ear that you coulve have probably made him deaf.  
 _And any plan where the next case could be?_

_Not really, but we will make a stop at one of our bars and meet some other hunters. Most of the time they got something for us._

_And when its multiple, can i choose?_

_Maybe. Depends._ Dean started the car and drove back on the road.

_Depends on what?_

Sam knew what his brother was talking about and answered your question. _Depends if they have pie there._

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a mess....like me. But i survived the exam weeks so now im back. (with an extra long playlist of songs that kept me alive)
> 
> Never enough - Crystal Knives & Milk and cookies  
> Home - Hopex  
> Carry your throne - Jon Bellion  
> Blue Skies (REVOKE Remix) - Lenka  
> There for you - Troye Sivan  
> Arc - Ship Wrek  
> Right away (Original mix) - Solar skinner  
> Easy - Son lux  
> My my my - Troy Sivan  
> Forest - Woolookologie  
> Daughter - Youth  
> Analyzing - Dennis Llloyd

A long sight got drawn out of Cas lungs when he saw that upon arriving, the apocalypse had not started yet. The wooden house still stood in its place and the sea looked as silent as ever. The tall cabin almost vanished between the fall colours or the golden trees. And the sounds of the crushing leaves under his feet was so loud that no sounds from the inside were audible. He quickly put his coat, which got shifted through the flight, in its rightful place and stepped further out from the huge forrest wich surrounded the property that Cas chose for the birth of Jack almost a year ago. It was the most peaceful and secluded place he could find in the hurry of the pregnancy and he thought that not only Jack would be safe from everyone there but the other way around to. But a lot changed in the last months and Jack was not the risk of interest anymore as four young angels landed on this earth and Castiel was now responsible for their destructions too. Knocking exactly four times on the old door he braced himself and ordered his posture to be upright again as he stepped in. 

_Hello. An immediate answer came only from one voice._

_Castiel?_

_Yes._ His voice was even more rough and he wondered for a second if the teas that you always drank would help him with this. But his mind fixed on Jack again as he jumped down the stairs and ran across the small living room to come to a stop right infront of him with a hopeful smile on his face.

_The other arent back yet. Auriel texted me that they will keep an eye out onto the other hotspot cities and their individuals, but personally i think they just got bored here. He also said they split into different cities to be more effective._

Cas face turned into a light frown unwillingly and Jack knew he didnt say the thing he wanted to hear right now.

_But they said they will keep contact and send photos if they find something important. They promised._

_Yes i know Jack._ He tried to fix his posture as much as he could but saw no sense in doing so when the only person that watched him was his, almost, son. _I told them to go as they thought. I didnt thought they could help you much here._

_I know._ His smile dropped so fast that Castiels face would have been even more worried if it had not already been. But he had no time to search for the appropriate apologies as Jack already continued.

_I think i should stop thinking about it and they will unfold when they want to. Maybe they have their own mind. And so long i have to sit through the pain i guess. Many humans actually have to live with pain from day to day and maybe that will also help me become more human, right?_

_Not exactly, wings are exclusive to angels and their included pain with them. But i understand how you get to that conclusion and..._

_Then its good. If you understand it cant be that wrong._

_Hmh. Wrong and right. Let me tell you that nobody can really tell that apart from another clearly. Not even god..._

_You say not one person can, but maybe many._

Jacks train of thought let Cas peak up in the room that got darker by the second and he saw that Jack trailed of to one of the windows that led to the wodden balcony. He followed him silently as to not disturb him since Cas loved it all to much to see him like this, thinking first before taking action. Something he didnt see quite often while living with hunters. Actually it became a treat to see anyone like that when you get stuck in the hunting life. There were just too less of those moments and catching one was rare.

_Youre thinking of her._ Cas knew by now what Jack looked like when he was thinking of you. His folded hands behind his back giving him away.

_Just as much as she does about all of us. She shouldnt be the only one to worry. And you not too. You should really go on vacation like you made me. Being alone here and thinking helped me, but it was also terrifying for some reason._ Jack heard Castiel shift beside him again, feeling the guilt Cas radiated. _Its ok. Feeling sad makes the happy moments better._

_You feel happy?_

_Not all the time. But they are there._

_When?_ Castiel suddenly wanted to know it so bad like he had missed a part of Jacks life he should have known about. But that he could guess the answer made him realise he wasnt away for too long yet.

_In the bunker mostly. Or when you are all around me. Its just safer like this you know. If everyone is in one spot i can look them all over and be sure they are at least there._

_You know thats not your job._

_Not yours either._ Castiel inhaled lightly at his quick response like he wanted to answer onto that. But from the moment he arrived here to now, his mindset changed from being a soldier that he used to be, to being the father he knew Jack needed. And at this point it wasnt even about what the others needed. At this point it was all about Jack. In the moment he saw him so peacefully staring at the water, he knew he was going the wrong way and had been making false decisions. Just like Sam and Dean, Castiel also didnt seem to know yet what was the best way to safety for all of them. But he didnt had to. Jack and you knew exactly that all of them being together and in one spot was the safest option they could take. _Youre right._

_With what. I have a lot of opinions now._

_That we should go back to the others._

Now Jack was the one to watch Cas stare at the silent going lake.

_Here..._

Jack was still a bit shocked so he almost let the mobile slip from his fingers as Castiel reached into his pocket and gave it to him without looking. Only after he saw the screen light up and he searched for Deans contact number he looked up again. With a warm smile he looked at Cas and saw him nodd before going upstairs into his room with heavy, slow steps to pack up his stuff for him.

Jack however wasted no time.

 

**_Jack//_ **

**_~Cas said we could come over and meet you~_ **

****

**_Dean//_ **

**_~Wait. Where is Cas?~_ **

****

**_Jack//_ **

**_~He is upstairs.~_ **

****

**_Dean//_ **

**_~And what is he doing?~_ **

****

**_Jack//_ **

**_~Packing my stuff~_ **

****

**_Dean//_ **

**_~So he is ok with this~_ **

**__ **

**_Jack//_ **

**_~Yes. I think so.~_ **

****

**_Dean//_ **

**_~Ok i guess~_ **

**_~Horock Bar on the route 577 but it will take a while until were there. You can take your time~_ **

****

**_Jack//_ **

**_~ok we will~_ **

****

**_Dean//_ **

**_~ok buddy~_ **

**_~do you want me to tell Y/n that you come?~_ **

****

**_Jack//_ **

**_~No :D ~_ **

****

**_Dean//_ **

**_~alright~_ **

Emojis. He started to love them just as much as Castiel.

 

..............................................

 

The drive to the bar they were talking about felt longer than you thought which was probably the result of your exitement. Now that you know you could finally have your first official case on your own and with the help of the winchesters (not the other way around) you couldnt sit still in the back seat. Which on the other hand, drove Dean half insane. So in order to arrive safe at the bar Sam made the decision to keep you busy with stories, tricks and tipps from the live of a hunter.

_You said you watched your uncle play cards from time to time. So Dean has his own little thing there._

_Little? I once made two thousand dollars at once and i started with nothing._

_Dude the guy was drunk, that doesnt count._

_Not that im questioning anything here but i dont think thats enough to pay food and cars and clothes and damn not enough to pay those weapons you get._

_No thats a whole nother story. Dean was actually so smart to hack the police datas and search for certain people. Rapists, Murderers and worse. Most of the time they still have bank accounts left and before the state empties them, we can...well...._ Sam with kindest soul on this earth wasnt even able to say out loud that he stole things from the worst people on earth. And because of that, he just got more silent and mumbled the rest of the sentence.

_Hey, they wont need it in hell anyway, am i right?_

_Dean, for some of them there is still hope. You remember the many people that were falsely accused because the city police couldnt explain what happened and therefore just imprisoned random people in order to solve the case._

_Well they were fucktards and should be glad that we helped them out. Most of the officers dont do anything but eat donuts all day anyway._

_Sounds like you would want to give them classes on how to hunt monsters? I could totally imagine you as a teacher Dean. Glasses. Backpack. Blazer._ You mimiked him, like you imagined a teacher would wave his hands around.

_No no no hey i will never give up my leather jacket. But we wouldnt have to do so much hunting if only half of the policemen would know what i going on behind their back._

_And then they would tell their families. Andthe kids would tell their friends. I think then in less than a week everyone would know about them and a worldwide panik would go down. Of course you had to say that in your best strict teachers voice._ _However....I mean yea Dean is right, if everyone would look out, hunting monsters would be easier. But i get your point. If the government found out about it they would literally pull a hitler 2.0 and just delete everyone that shows the slightest magic shimmer._ _And i cant imagine that people like garth would then be locked up and all...Do you know more people like him? I mean, monsters that decided to be rightful and all. Follow the law. Maybe build their own family?_ During your small monologe you didnt notice the two brothers looking at each other. And also not the s m a r t that Dean mouthed to Sam with a tap to his head.

_Of course. Many. Werewolves i think for the most part. Their pack leader can decided to live peaceful and the rest has to follow the rules. And other species just learned to live with it and staying under the radar._

_Wich sometimes makes them harder to hunt if they go crazy._

_If Dean. Little words are important here. Maybe think then shoot. Or think, talk and then shoot. And yes i heard from your incident with Jack._ You heard the light chuckle from Sam on your right side.

_I think he learned his lesson there. I mean Jack threw us to the wall only 2 seconds after that._

_And my back still hurts from that._

_It wouldnt if you train more._ Sam almost said the sentence on sync with your thoughts.

_Shut up bitch and get out of the damn car. You both have no right to teach me stuff in my baby._

You raised your eyebrow before opening the door and stepping out of the car just to get your hair blown into your face by a cold wind. You shivered and freezed in the spot you had been standing on, looking down and realizing you were still wearing your sport clothes. Maybe instead of making a scene in the motel you shouldve used the time to dress into something more comfortable or at least warmer. Still you straightened your back and followed Sam into the rather small looking bar house that had been built right next to the door only to stop dead in your tracks by a gun going off, which on the other hand caused Dean to crash into you from behind. At least he was quick enough to catch you by your shoulders so you wouldnt completely face plant the concrete ground.

_Wow wow. Jesus Y/n so smart and so scared. Im not sure if we should really take you into this one. Many hunters from the older generation are just waiting to point their gun at cha. I dont think you can handle that._

You on the other hand already catched your balance again and stood still in order not to get hit by another wave of cold air.

_Try me._ You scrunched up your eyebrows to look mad but from Deans point of view you rather made out the silhouette of a frightened dog, shivering.

_Alright sunshine. At least take this._ He quickly got rid of his leather jacket and threw it over your shoulder. Because of its massive size you could easy slide your arms in and felt the warmth his body had left behind.

_But dont be mad if you get holy water in your face._ He threw an arm around your shoulder and dragged you along behind his little brother who already vanished between the crowd of people that stood right behind the entrance door.

At that point you didnt even fight against the arm on your shoulder and literally wanted to throw a blanket over your face, your body, basically everything to hide from the scratched up, punched and grimm looking faces that stared you down as soon as you stepped into the “saloon”. And it could almost have been a scene from such a movie as you were quite sure that some of the older guys in the back corner were responsible for the gun shot you heard a minute ago.

It felt like they could smell your fear as you walked past them so you suppressed your more flight than fight instict and exchanged it with an emotionless walk towards Sam who had been sitting down at a free table in the middle of the room.

_Great._

_What you say? I thought you wanted to have your own case and thats how you get em._

_Dont get cocky.... Its just not cozy in here ok._ You tried a sassy smiled but failed as the bartender stared you down.

**_Fuck. I think he heard me._ **

 

_No worrys. Whoever belongs to us is welcome in here. They know us._

_Hmh im sure about that._ You eyed a dark dressed biker guy one last time before scooting up the bank until you sat next to Sam who already picked up the card and skipped through the rather spare looking salat part.

_How are you used to this. You seem so calm. Tell me your secret._

_If you would know only half of those guys you see in here they wouldnt frighten you. You would mostly laugh at how bad they are. I mean you see this guy._

Behind the card Sams eyes darted into the direction of a guy that looked like he had gotten into a fight with some sort of mud monster.

_He is just...bad at his job._

_And with bad Sammy means horrible. We helped him out one time and we had to leave him behind at a hotel because he let the vampire escape two times. And then he told us it was our fault._

_Maybe it was. You never know._ Your bad joke didnt come through as funny the slightest bit since you still sat on the leather bench like a rock.

_Hey i mean we can go back to the car and i will drive you to a hotel if you want._ Dean tried to hide his smile but wasnt quite successful. And maybe if he would have been, you wouldnt have snapped from flight to fight mode.

_No no no. Just tell me where i can get my case and i will handle the rest._

_Of course, just go to the table back there and play for it._

_Dean._

_Sam. She said she wanted one._

_But is that really what she should do. No offence Y/n but maybe you should wai..._ As Sam turned his head back to you he realised he talked to noone since you stomped head first through a door to a backroom in which a crowd of hunters surrounded a green table.

_What?_ Even Dean was shocked as he didnt think you would actually turn back from your stone like state. Regret washed over him as he watched you vanish behind the small crowd and he jumped up, ignoring the beer that the waitress set infront of him.

You on the other hand werent aware of the shock you caused to both of them as you sat down on one of the last two free seats behind the table and infront of the guy who was obviously acting as the bank and leading the game.

_Youre in._

If not everyones sight wasnt already on you, it sure as hell was now since he stopped giving out cards for a second, looking you up and down. You realised you werent the typical girl, hell even that you were a girl was off here, and added to that was that you could in fact play like one of them. After watching and understanding the games your uncle played when you were with him for so long you were more than convinced that you could compete against the three guys that sat beside you, who were not impressed of you at all. Wich made it your mission to change that as quickly as possible.

Counting cards wasnt even necessary for you. In this game, all it came to down to was to stay calm. The more you would risk, the quicker you would loose and all ten chips you get from the beginning would be gone.

Since the goal however was the exact opposite and after the first few rounds you were still the only one with all your chips, your play partners became more and more nervous. And after another two round, the first one of them gave up after loosing all his chips, wich made the other two that were left visibly uncomfortable.

_What do you think youre doing?_

Deans hot breath against your ear didnt even make you twitch the slightest since you were so invested in the game.

_Im doing what you told me to do._

_Well what i told you was stupid lets go._

_She cant go, i am about to beat her._ One of the other two players protested.

_None of your business._ Dean snapped back.

_Its his business. Because we a r e in a business. Its about a Vampire nest amiright?_ You cocked an eyebrow at the centered sitting guy that was mixing the cards. Only a small nod from him was given to you.

_So Dean. Step back and let me get my first case. Maybe i will even let you tag along if you ask nicely._

You could hear him scuff at you like a little, stubborn child since he knew what this could lead to if you would win. And not all of them were about to give their cases up without a fight. So the only hope he had by now that none of your competitors were drunk enough to think making problems would be a good idea.

Deans scanning look over the other two guys you didnt even notice sicne you were back into the game and winning like you had been playing since the second the game had been invented.

 

.........................................

 

It should have not taken him so long to pack all his stuff, but actually leaving the place took the most time away. Until the sun sank down under the water he refused to lay his eyes on everything else but the house he was born in. The unknown feeling of loosing it or never seeing it again made him nostalgic. For the first time.

After the last red tones left from the now night blue sky Jack turned around and walked over to the wooden stairs of the house where Cas had been waiting patiently.

_Are you ready?_

His tone seemed more relaxed by now. But that still didnt make Jack less comfortable with the fact that he still couldnt fly when and whereever he wants on his own. And the fact that Cas couldnt help him with any of his theories on why it was that way, because he couldnt even unfold them without crying in pain, made him even more nervous the more he thought about it. He felt some kind of embarrassment, and although he never felt such a thing, he was pretty sure this feeling came from his human side and he was sorry for everyone who had to endure this. Still he had no other choice but to hold onto Cas shoulder and close his eyes, feeling his wings unfold right next to his hands and even feeling some of the feathers grazing his arm.

The few moments of feeling light and refreshed changed suddenly. It felt like someone slapped him in the face with the cold wind that came towards him the second he felt his feet hit the dirt parking lot. He couldnt tell if he was really in the right place since he imagined something different when the last text he had seen from Dean was: we’ll be in the back lounge.

At those words he, for some reason, assosiated a lot of the internal design withhome and comfort, but what he saw when he entered brought back that nasty feeling of dissapointment.

Only some chairs at the old and dirty looking bar was occupied by what seemed like a biker gang and in the back a couple seemed to have a drunk makeout session like he had never seen before. He also thought it didnt look quite comforting. The hair pulling, the biting. Everything seemed so selfish like they just wanted to get the partner for their own pleasure.

_Its ok if you dont understand it. Castiel mumbled silently over his shoulder. Its different for every human being anyway. Like Dean said, it seems to be individual._

_Hmh._ He just slowly nooded, lost in his thoughts when his eyes wandered off and got alarmed by the fact that there was no group of three people. At least not the one he looked out for so desperately. Back into his thoughts he suddenly heard too many voices, all undestinguishable and so loud he had to close his mind in order not to split into countless pieces because of the loud sounds. He pushed his palms into his temples to ease the pain and it subsided so much that he could feel Cas hand on his shoulder.

_I heard them too. They seem to be in the backroom. His voice was raspy and full of worry again. He blurted out the info that he only heard Dean and Sam, not you. Maybe sit down here and..._

_Too late._ Jack already pushed past Castiel and stormed through the one door where mumbling was heard. However, he didnt even got noticed by anyone accept the two all too familiar lumberjacks. Between the two of them on the other hand, Sam was the first one to push through the crowd of tall and small, but all really old hunters wich gathered around the table a group had been playing on for seemingly a while.

_Cas. Glad youre here._ Sam looked over his shoulder and tried to catch a glimpse of Dean who was still struggling to come through to them. But after Sam saw Dean following, he turned back around and also greeted Jack with a quick nodd, trying to whisper to Cas as silent as possible.

_Tell me youve seen her walk out when you came in._

Cas draw back for a second before leaning back in. He didnt want Jack to notice the panik rising up in both him and Sam, and also Dean who arrived by now.

_We...after the game.....those bastards probably thought she cheated._ Dean tried to catch his breath im the hot, humid room.

_Two of the players she played with went back outside and after some more minutes she was gone too. I dont even know where the goddamn backdoor is. I cant see anything in here. Lets get the hell out._ He screamed the last sentence above the loudly cheering crowd but just barely it reached Jack to hear it. Upon those words however, Jack grabbed Sam by his Jacket and Castiel by his trenchcoat, where Dean managed to catch onto in the last second too, to drag them along back outside the door he had been standing next to.

That however had its perks. Now, next to the silent bar, Jack could seperate the loud voices from Sam and Deans, and their panik was all to audible to him now. Although Dean immediately tried to shove Jack into one of the bar seats, he wasnt quite sucsessful as Jacks small body was rather bendable and he darted out infront of him, back out the front door and leaving them behind. Now in the cold night air he could finally think his own thoughts. Panik. Which was the first. After that Worry. But right after and the most prominent, Energy. He turned around himself two times, seeing not only the others stepping closer to him into the parking lot but also the side of the bar, where two figures were shown onto by the neon light of the bar. He felt his pulse rise into his head. Clearly his human side took over as he ran towards them, tears rushing in his eyes and pictures of your dead body appearing in his mind.

**_You were gone for too long. Its your fault._ **

**_You killed her._ **

The same thought Dean had after carrying your half dead body to the bathroom after your first few weeks with them.

And until Jack arrived at where the the two bodies layed flat and motionless he was already deeply convinced that one of them was you. Frantic he took the back of his hand to wipe away his tears who had been holding him back to see the faces of both of them clearly. He sank onto his knees, almost inches away from the face to see that...it wasnt you. His head turned to the side so fast he heard something crack in his spine. But he had to know if the second body was....also everything but you. Both of them were men. Large. Bearded. Looked like hunters and smelled like hunters. Both groaning in pain. But the fact that both were infact not you wasnt in any way calming.

_What have you done?_ Deans voice sounded accusing to him and Jack turned around to defend himself.

_I didnt do it. I....i found them like this._

But to his suprise Dean knew, and didnt even talked to him in the first place. And in addition, Sam was now also heading to someone behind his back who had been hiding in the shadows until now, heavingly breathing.

 

..........................................

 

You layed down your last card, forcing it away from your fingers since it sticked to you hand from some beer that dried on it. You won. Of course. You already figured that three rounds ahead but kind of wanted them to loose the rest of their chips to you before closing the round. It seemed simple for you to just predict the following cards and you knew exactly when to stop and when to keep going and betting. Because of that, slowly but surely the entire stacks of chips from the other players wandered over until they were all gathered infront of you. Looking at the dusty, green and flat plates you imagined the infos you could buy from other hunters about the best cases since you were sure they would give up their hunts for the right price. And you were all too willing to give it to them. However, after finishing your last move you were sure not everyone was happy for you. Seeing the two guys you have played with leave made you uncomfortable at first but you too were now ready to go and turned around only to be met by a wall of other hunters who had been gathering behind you to get into your sear, thinking that was the secret behind your winstreak. Already getting pushed to the side after you turned around only with the sheer force of your elbows you managed to get to the front door again, slamming it shut behind you and letting your ears adjust to the silence. You breathed in the fresh air deeply in your lungs and let the smell of beer and wood supress the sweaty smell of about 40 hunter and whiskey.

Not seeing Sam or Dean anywhere you slowly walked past the dark and small seat rows of the pub and shortly peaked into every single one of it, looking out for a tall, puppy eye looking man or a smaller, green eyed lumberjack. But walking past every single one of them, you found not a single trace of anyone and your only chance was indeed to ask the grumpy looking bartender for directions. And before you could even open your mouth he just looked you up and down and groaned something along the lines of, they got outside already. Shrugging off the strange feeling of him knowing who you were searching for, you followed his advice. And after stepping outside, you still looked along the side of the building and over the parking lot to spot any signs of Sam or Dean.

The cold night air hit your lungs hard and a big cloud escaped your mouth, desinegrating up and into the night sky. Your eyes followed it for some seconds before shooting a look behind your left shoulder after hearing a crack from the side of the building. You turned around, squinting your eyes to see who the shadow was which pushed himself from the wall of the bar and slowly made its way up to you. Of course it was your opponent from the game and of course he wasnt alone. The trap you had fallen in was easy. One infront of you, getting your attention, the other, more bulky one behind you to catch both your arms in a police grip and your neck stretched back to meet his chest so you were unable to see what the first guy was doing infront of you. Only a muffled sound of pain came from your overbend throat and your eyes tried to catch a glimpse of the guy infront of you so bad they started to black out because of the dilating.

_You want anything other than the chips?_ The comment from your front was not pointed towards you and you wouldnt have been able to answer in the first place anyway.

_Look out for weapons i need a knife._ The short answer from right above you made you thrash and squirm even harder inbetween his arms, knowing that you not only had a small knife in you sports bra at all times but also the small pen in the hidden sidepocket of your pants. Praying that they at least wouldnt get that because it was rather small to notice it anyway your worry quickly got replaced with panik as you heard your small pocket knife flick out and felt it press up against the cotton of your shirt, ripping it open almost right up to the collar. Of course the large hands of the hunter werent precise enough to not hit any of your flesh and you felt a warm hot liquid drip down your stomach before gathering as a wet patch on your pants. Until then you were able to hide your anger for the reason that it was covered up with the panik that clouded your mind. But feeling his hand gliding up and along the slit and pressing into the wound was enough. You remember what you learned the last weeks and you started to forget how helpless you were at the times you had spend with your uncle.

Your moves were precise and your hips bucked in the right angle to make place for you elbow to hit the gut of your first opponent behind you, resulting in his grip around your arms loosing. Still with his other hand around your neck however you had your next contact point to attack. Gripping onto his hand with your own you made quick process with him and broke two of his fingers under the pressure of your own, resulting in him whining and your neck getting bruised. But you figured you’d rather life with some bruises than not live at all. Not forgetting about your first attacker however you turned back around to see to your suprise him, backing away along the shadows of the building. You felt a smirk building on your face uncontrollably knowing that you had an easy finish with him when he already back away from a simple fist fight. In his defence, it was always more than just a fist fight for you. The training sessions with Jack back in the bunker made you capable of using much more than just your fists in order to knock him out, here and there leaving bruises and crushed bones on his body as you attacked him under the head lights of a streetlamp behind the pub where Sam and Dean started searching for you after noticing your place on the table was emptied.

But the bulky hunter wasnt the only one who was about to pass out on the floor. Only the wodden fence in the shadows backed your heavy breathing up and you tried to get your hurting lungs to work again. Taking down two giants with only your bleeding body and a speer you hadnt got used to enough had its perks and left more marks on you. Seeing him smashing you against the fence in your mind again, you touched your ribcage and felt something loose. But your broken rib was a small price for being alive. Still your body wasnt able to calm down at that thought so you could only half stand half sit there in the shadows until you calmed down enough to stand up on your own again. However that wasnt even necessary when you felt two hands grabbing you under your arms and picking you up into a standing position again. Even though your eyes already saw the soft face looking down at you and felt his large hands checking you for injuries in a slow and careful pace your body still twitched inbetween them, being not quite sure if it was really safe already.

_Shhh hey Y/n. Hey its Sam. I got you._ And it was for the better that he did. Alone and with your own legs you werent sure if you were cabaple of walking again. He pressed you against his warm chest and wrapped his arms under yours to give you support and turn you around. But your view was blocked from the next hunter that stood right infront of you, making you twitch once more.

_Oh god Dean. Dont DO that._ You throat was still sore from the thight grip around it and it sounded like you had just smoked through three packages of cigarettes.

_Im sorry. Hey. Hey look at me._ It was hard to follow his order with your neck still stiff but you forced yourself to look up and into his eyes only to see the worry in them which matched the sadness in his voice.

_Is ok Dean. Not dead yet_. A light chuckle came from the chest you leaned against and you were happy to see atleast a small smile in the corner of Deans mouth. He knew by now that if you still joked, you werent far gone.

_Better not be. I even got a little reward after your first fist fight with another hunter._ He moved to the side to reveal two angels standing close to the three of you, however they were focused on something else than greeting you. Since the smaller one was following the movements of the first one you saw four fists going down into the faces of the two guys which crawled around on the floor. However after you heard the impact from fist on bone and two silent thudds on the pavement their movement stopped and the two figures seemes pleased with their work.

_Nah ha. They were already finished. No need to damage them even more._ You heard the silent -fuck you-from one of the figures laying on the floor and changed your mind.

_Ok you know what ...they deserved it._ You forced a smile to make you look less hurt than you certainly were. But it worked and Jack finally started to come closer to you, giving you one of the softest hugs you ever recieved.

**_Can you please stop?_ **

**_What, playing cards?_ **

**_No, dying._** The seriousness in his thoughts mixed with his bitchface made you giggle out loud and you felt your broken rib shift inside you.

_...Youre right._ Was the last senteced you catched from Cas after the succumbing pain let you hear again.

_What?! What did you say_.

Cas stepped infront of you, shoving Jack , who still eyed you in worry, gently to the side. _I said we should all go back to a motel now. Get you some sleep and then talk about where to go on from there._

_Wait we all?_ His small nod was all you needed.

_Fucking finally._ You would wonder later if the deep sign actually made your bones so much like jelly that that was the reason why you needed Sam as support to walk properly.

Seeing your small group walking back to the car, you knew you were right that it was the best for all of you to be and stay together. Working like the team you were, everyone fulfilled their purpose.

Sam half carrying you and caring for your wounds,lifting you up everytime your knees tried to give in under the weight of your heaving chest.

Cas staying on Deans side who visibly stuggled from self loathing and judging after he wasnt able to keep an eye on you in there. But luckily every twitch of him when Cas trenchcoat flapped against his leg and every bunched up fist around the steering wheel didnt go unnoticed by him. He was quick so react to it, knowing exactly how to stop his mind for blaming him for things he didnt had an influence on.

And then Jack, who was walking at the end of the weirdest caravan ever seen, until he jogged to your side, gently putting your more than normal looking „pen“ back into the side pocket of your ripped pants. Thanks to your most precious belonging, you were atleast able to block some of the hits you recieved and you were glad that atleast Jack was so smart to notice it on the dirt floor. But besides picking up the mess behind you, he was now looking out for any new sign of danger and furthermore, any frightened thought in your mind. He was a multitalent at such a young age. Looking back at him over your shoulder you could almost see a bit of Gabriel in him. His upright walk even though you could feel his stirred up and confused emotions and his mildly glowing eyes which were always on guard. And they didnt stop until everyone was seated in the inside of the impala and he heard the rumble of the motor going off.

You were most certainly sure with Cas watching Dean in the front seat that you were going to arrive safely and without any incidents. The only task you had was actively trying to fight against the feeling of throwing up any second as one of your ribs kept poking your intestines. But you knew nobody would survive the ride if Deans “baby” would be painted in all sorts of nasty colours by you. So you focused on the road going by, and the headlights shining far in the distance through the thick fog of the night.

 

................................

 

You insisted on going up the stairs to your room by your own and even succeeded without collapsing right there and then.

_Its not quite fair that Cas cant heal you._ You could hear Deans pout in his voice.

_Well then maybe you should start being more appreciative of your personal nurse, Winchester._

Hearing him giggle after your snappy comment made the clouds in your brain that started to take over dissapear for a little longer and you were suddenly awake enough to open the door to the four-bed room. Getting hit with the old familiar smell of old wood and a lacking fridge you darted out for the four chairs which lazyily stood around the too small table. However as long as they were stable enough to hold your, by the second, heavier getting body you were glad they were there.

_Catch._ Sam threw the keys of the impala back to Dean and entered the rather large room with two full plastic bags, Cas and Jack behind him.

_I picked the salat you talked about._ Jack stated proudly, trying to comfort you the best he could at this point.

_What? She was fighting like a badass and you brought her leaves?_ Dean was eyeing your food but you were just glad that is was indeed just that, because any of those greasy burgers Sam took out next wouldve made your headacke just worse.

_Y/n?_

_Yes,_ your eyes snapped open, although you didnt even know they closed.

_You still want to eat?_ Sam looked at you with pity and then onto the salad which stood infront of you. You didnt even notice that they all sat down and started eating already.

_Oh yea, of course. I just need.._

_Fork._ Jack handed you one before you could even end the thought.

_Yes. That._ You ruffeled him through his hair before taking the plastic set from him.

Squinting your eyes to focus on your plate you managed to make out some individual tomatoes and tried to stab them multiple times to get them in your mouth.

_Oh god i cant watch that._

_Mhh sorry Dean._

_No nothing to apologize._ His voice got incredibly soft when he tried to take the fork from your lightly shaking hand.

_Maybe food isnt so important as sleep right now_.

_Hmh._ The nod you gave him basically consisted of your head just sliding of your hand where you had been resting it on.

_Dean i think she is done for today._ Sam giggled, observing how your head was slowly coming dangerously closer to the salad infront of you.

_Ok i see. Come here little one._

Gently taping you to the side was all Dean had to do to let you slide into his arms and lift you up, setting you down on one of the beds again.

_Cas? Mind if you?_

He understood Deans silent question and from where he had been sitting on one of the other beds just looked you up and down once before changing you into sleeping clothes. Then he went back to focusing on his lit up phone screen until he got interrupt by Dean once more.

_Come here._ He patted the now free seat next to him, settling back in his own and taking a swig from his beer at the same time.

_What you find out? Any new hints from our angel patrol?_

_As it seems they have now all gathered in a town called Farrelday. Their navigation chip seems to show that they are moving together now and the last few pictures i got were all from the same town. But no messages anymore. Im...worried._

_Wait cant you reach them with angelradio?_ Sam was asking the right questions but also knew the answer to them.

_No, theyre too young like Jack. They wings didnt grow enough and their grace isnt strong to reach out that far yet. And to trying it alone would be too dangerous._ From the corner of his eye he saw Jack changing position on his chair uncomfortably. But he wasnt the only one who noticed.

_Hey man nothing big behind it im sure._ Deans horrible advise earned him a kick from his little brother under the table.

_Ouch.._

_Hmhh._ Jack stood up, not really listening to the conversation anymore and more fixing on you. Seeing you finally right there infront of you gave him peace, although he could feel your pain and his own and because of that was only able to turn it down the slightest. But he tried. Just as much as he tried to protect you and the others. Yet he kept failing miserably.

The weight of his failure felt heavy on his shoudlers and he got pushed down by it, on the bed next to you.

And aslong as the others kept discussion wether to follow the leads of the four angels or search for their own in case it was a trap and they got caught, Jack layed down beside you, watching how your body lifted and sank with every breath.

_Ok I mean how far are they? Like do they have their own blades and stuff, anything they could fight with? Did you ya know...teach them some survival tricks. Dont tell me you send them out there alone._

_No Dean. I told Gabriel to look out for them but he didnt answer either. Nobody does as i told you._ Cas voice was almost dripping with distress at this point.

_I should just go and see for myself. Maybe they got caught under my commando which makes it my job to get them out._

_Hey were not doing that anymore. You brought Jack and Y/n back together but they cant do this without you ok. Neither Sam nor i know what to do when they go...i dont know ok. But for now, lets stay together._

The discussion between them went on silent in the hotel room and got only watched by Sam who had been sitting back in his chair.

_Ok. But you both promise me we get there as soon as possible tomorrow. Theyre under my..._

_Commando i know._ Dean layed a hand on Cas shoulder like he was used to do when he knew that Cas wanted to do stuff with good intentions but in a wrong way.

_So we have a plan?_ Sam only raised his voice back up after giving them their odd “special-bond” time. He seemed to understand it from time to time but disgarded the thoughts again.

_I think we do._ Cas looked back at his phone before closing it for the day.

_Good. Means you and me take a nap now and stand up early tomorrow. Get everything ready. Wake up the kids and then go._

_So you want to take them with you?_ The question came from Sam but also Cas eyed him stunned.

_Hey if Y/n can help Jack and still fight like today im good with it. She earned her first case anyway so why not let her play Sherlock and let her solve this mystery._ Dean settled himself down on one of the beds now too and layed back against the headboard.

_Everyone agreeing?_ Two nods. _Good, thought so too._

Sam rolled his eyes at Deans dickhead behaviour but couldnt say anything against it since it was a pretty good plan for once.

_Ok then, im going to sleep too, you need anything Cas?_

_No, ill watch the hotel in case anyone followed us from the bar._

_Alright, but if you feel like it just wake me up and we’ll switch._ One nod as answer again. And so Cas looked back one more time at the four sleeping figures before going out the door and holding guard.

But not everything looked as it seemed. Jack still wildly stressed out by the thought of loosing you and his wings that still hurt and wouldnt comply anything he said kept him awake in his own dream.

His eyes flattering open quickly he turned around in his bed, looking up and over the room that was now empty and even more silent than in real life. Perfect for a place in which he could finally discuss all the things with you he wanted all night long and figure things out not alone anymore. But turning to the side and seeing you even in your combined-dream sleeping, not moving a muscle and laying there flat like a pancake made Jack scratch his plans.

_Its ok, it can wait._


	24. Chapter 24

Does anyone want another chapter? Cus i mean...i have one ._. My life just fucked me over so i forgot about it


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